It's Wet Beast Wednesday

cmon kid... we've gotta go save Wet Beast Wednesday.... TWO!

i have never been more instantly influenced by media than when i was a kid in middle school or maybe freshman of hs and witnessed that scene in adventure time where finn eats a sandwich and drinks a whole glass of milk or orange juice i forget which and immediately takes a nap on the couch while smiling. i remember pausing the tv, going to the kitchen, fixing myself up with that exact setup and then falling asleep. completely drone-like in its execution. i’ve never been hypnotized like that by anything before or since

i definitely think minecraft won't be the game for everyone in the end and that's just how things are no problem but i do think *some* people who don't get the hype of it just need to play with their friends and build a house with them. its also for doing things like this.

.

whatever i guess nobody've read that so imma just drop the screenshots

no reaction???

Why would you do that to someone's house.

happy sparkle on its wednesday monday

free my man he only did some of that

Having thinky thoughts about horror and monsters and the brain's initial lizard reactions VS what comes immediately after, and I've come to the realization that I would absolutely get eaten in these sorts of stories, I always wanna know if the upside-down head lady is okay

Like, yes, body horror is terrifying and that OH GOD THAT SHOULDN'T BE MOVING WHY IS IT MOVING reaction is fun and everything, but after that the monster always lunges at the person and tries to maul them or whatever--

I keep wondering if there was ever some incident where the bone crunchy body horror happens and the monster is just as surprised as you are, it panics like "WHY IS MY JAW ON MY CHEST/WHY IS MY HEAD UPSIDE-DOWN/WHERE DID ALL THESE NEW LIMBS COME FROM"

Even hauntingly sad/frightened looking cryptids just sitting there making the OnO face in some sewer or whatever, I always wonder how their face *got like that*, are they okay, what *happened*?

so yeah, no happy ending for me, I'd totally get eaten

See also:

first horror startles and scares me, and then it just makes me sad for weeks. i think the monsters are like drowning victims: they're already under, and they're pulling in anyone they can reach to drown too. they can't help it. they're in a situation that neither a rational or compassionate mind can function in. they just know to grab anything they can to get back to the light, but this is a horror story and they're already too far under, they're never going to reach the surface. they don't get any more breaths, they don't get to think again, they're already gone.

it just makes me really sad. the haunted house that's endlessly choking and spasming around the horror of what happened to her, the backrooms that are an untransversible broken mirror of reality, the villagers in late stage radiation poisoning from an interdimensional attention no primate was actually built to withstand. the monsters are dying, the monsters are dead. they're going to pull you under. they were the first victims, and they were lost before the movie even started.

horror stories are about grief, i guess, and all the monsters are already lost. you can't save them. no one can save them. you can only watch them and hurt.

I really hope people online aren't getting the wrong impression of unions and that they're flawless Things that will protect them from any and all mistreatment and that strikes are fun little treats union workers get

Unions are People not Things. Union leaders can fuck up. Unions can definitely operate in a way that gets you low wages and poor benefits if you're not being represented well.

A union by itself does not guarantee you anything. Unions take work and money to run. You pay dues, you go to meetings, you vote. You protect each other in a union. You don't join a union and magically have everything taken care of for you.

Strikes are a powerful tool but are scary. They're not a goal to achieve. Unions don't aim to go on strike during negotiations.

Today I saw a pic of a baby cowbird next 2 its nest "parent" and it was so much bigger!!!!! Which is the sort of thing that gets normal people upset about the injustice of nest parasitism but makes *me* worry if baby cowbirds get bird dysmorphia

This (from Cornell Labs via Merlin) is the pic I was looking at. It's just a little baby but it's so much bigger than its "parent"!!!! Do baby cowbirds feel isolated? Do they understand they're a different bird, or are they just a really bad sparrow?

hey, good news! ecologists have been studying this very thing! it seems young cowbirds have some kind of innate sense that leads them to sneak out of their foster nest at night to hang out in grasslands where they—more often than not—meet other cowbirds and learn more about what they really are.

Thanks I am going to cry so hard I throw up ;-;

Come on Tumblr, don’t be fucking cowards

Alternatively -  come on nameless intern #102, you have a chance to be the fucking funniest person on staff.

cowards

Time for manual blazing, tumblr can be a coward but they can't stop us.

cool new tumblr trend : “goodposting”

its when you share fun interesting things in a calm and friendly way

goodposting example: hey guys, just fucked a bug

Compare paychecks with you co-workers. It is the best way to get equality.

the average person's understanding of the "squirrel" could stand expansion. most people think of grey squirrels and red squirrels. urge them to think a little harder and they might come up with chipmunks and flying squirrels, while asking "i mean, do those really count?"

prepare yourselves.

first up, red squirrels and grey squirrels (classic):

chipmunks (nightcore ass animal):

african pygmy squirrel (the smallest Squirrels):

thirteen-lined ground squirrel (fancier than you):

prairie dog (insanely intelligent and social):

marmots/groundhogs (the Biggest squirrels):

flying squirrels (how does she do it):

Indian Giant Squirrel (And why he ourple😂):

there are 200+ species of squirrel out there their family is one of, if not the most diverse of the rodents

L + ratio + into the car + from the backseat + oh admiration + in falling asleep + all of my powers + day after day + i can tell you + we swaggered and swayed + deep in the tower + the prairies below + i can tell you + the telling gets old + terrible sting +  terrible storm + i can tell you + the day we were born + my friend is gone + he ran away + i can tell you + i love him each day + though we have sparred + wrestled and raged + i can tell you + i love him each day + terrible sting + terrible storm + i can tell you +  i can wait + i can wait

just like me fr

(via @necromancy-enthusiast)

Hey. Gentiles. Listen up for a sec.

When September and October are nearing and you’re planning an event: google “Rosh Hashanah *year*” and *Yom Kippur *year*” and then, and I cannot stress this enough, don’t plan your event on those days. In fact, don’t plan any events starting sundown the night before. Those are the three most important days of the Jewish calendar, and, once again, I cannot stress enough how much this little bit of forethought and kindness will make every Jew you know cry tears of joy.

in 2023, the night before Rosh Hashanah is Thursday evening, September 14.

Rosh Hashanah ends Sunday evening, September 17.

calendar date

in 2023, the night before Yom Kippur is Saturday evening, September 23.

Yom Kippur ends Monday evening, September 25.

calendar date

*chanting quietly* tree law tree law tree law tree law

"no trespassing" "restricted area" "private property" bro im literally curious by nature

Come on Tumblr, don’t be fucking cowards

Alternatively -  come on nameless intern #102, you have a chance to be the fucking funniest person on staff.

cowards

Time for manual blazing, tumblr can be a coward but they can't stop us.

Just putting this out there to let people know to watch what they post because you can be found and if you think that the government can't do this ...

Well, you better think again!!

Reminder that in 2017 4chan played capture the flag with Shia LaBeouf. Without any kind of a retail store to use for landmarks they got a rough estimate of the flags location from a livestream. They used the position of the sun to narrow it down to a specific time zone, they tracked the flight paths of planes seen flying overhead to further narrow it down. Then someone in the area drove around honking his horn while viewers on the livestream told him if he was getting closer until he found and stole the flag.

people today with access to more raw information than any other period: the earth is flat

german artilleryman in 1916, who barely washes his own ass: I need to account for the curvature and rotation of the earth when plotting my firing plans

Eratosthenes, an Egyptian, in 3750 BC when fucking mammoths hadn’t even gone extinct yet: Oh hey I can use these two obelisks to calculate the earth’s entire circumference based on the length of their shadows and the Earth’s curvature. Neat.

Erastothenes was born in 276 BCE.

The last mammoth died on in island off the northeast coast of Siberia in ~1650BCE.

And as I’ve pointed out previously, the Coriolis effect was known even earlier than that, although it may not have become important to gunnery.

I find it utterly bizarre that humans saw these megafauna.

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/02/science/woolly-mammoth-extinct-genetics.html “ In fact, the Wrangel mammoth’s genome carried so many detrimental mutations that the population had suffered a “genomic meltdown,” according to Rebekah Rogers and Montgomery Slatkin of the University of California, Berkeley. Analyzing the Swedish team’s mammoth data at the gene level, they found that many genes had accumulated mutations that would have halted synthesis of proteins before they were complete, making the proteins useless, they report Thursday in PLOS Genetics. “ That “genomic meltdown” is one of the reasons feminism is so potentially lethal, because they keep pushing for asexual reproduction, or trying to combine ovaries, when the most likely outcome is a population running about - unable to reproduce sexually since the whole “male genocide” bit - with incredibly damaged chromosomes. Sex exists for a reason, and no, “because it’s fun” is not the answer, sorry. It works better than reproduction otherwise. Which is why every complex species uses it. Intelligence requires a lot of things to be working correctly, and if you have an all female species that is over the tipping point of idiocy, then there won’t be enough people to maintain the technology to continue to reproduce. And humans will go the way of the Wrangel beasties. Fortunately, feminists are horribly lazy bastards, so i doubt they’ll continue to get their way, but it does made for a decent plot for a dystopian fiction…

What …the fuck?

That went off the rails so suddenly like I thought I was just gonna learn something cool about mammoths and then WHOA.

I scrolled past this thinking “the earth is round, yes, something, something, mammoths…’ 

But the second time it came past I saw 

And I think I got whiplash from that pivot. I also laughed so hard that I couldn’t breathe. 

I’m????

Point and laugh at the MRA, kids. 

How … does he think … mammoths reproduced …

Never mind, not sure I want to know.

reblog to support Mammoth Feminism,

ignore for G E N O M I C M E L T D O W N

I here af for my Feminist Mammoth ladies, bring the species back!

DOWN WITH GENOMIC MELTDOWN

I… what exactly is combining ovaries supposed to achieve? 400 lazy feminist babies at the same time?

Shhhh…you weren’t supposed to tell anyone.

FEMINISM KILLED THE MAMMOTHS

I feel like we’re getting away from the main point here, which is that the world is flat

the world is only flat because it was trampled by feminist mammoths

reblog if you support your army of genetically-melted feminist mammoths that trampled the earth flat

Don’t anybody tell this guy about that species of lizard where there are only females it might break him

My head hurts after reading that. 

I’m sending this post to @wehuntedthemammoth

Why would you hurt me like this?

I teach genetics, I don’t deserve to have to explain why this is so wrong and yet. Oh my god. 

I reblogged this before but I have to do so again because of the above takedown with its glorious insults. Also, it’s always fun to point and laugh at MRAs.

I am in awe.

“Mueller’s Ratchet kind of presupposes that going in and manually editing a genome isn’t a fucking option, shitwad!” and “you pathetic snailsucking weed in the garden of knowledge” are honestly awe-inspiring and I’m fucking blessed I read them today

This is beautiful

It’s been long enough since I last saw this post that I’d nearly forgotten and it still fucking hit me like a goddamn freight train.

Fucking poetry there, Shakespeare would be hard pressed to improve upon these lines.

@shitpostsampler The snailsucking jellyfish fellator quote is golden.

Are we just going to ignore “a crumbling, confused pile of enraged starfish”?

‘oh hey that’s funny :D man, flat-earth sure is one of the stranger conspiracy theories isn’t it. ooh who was Eratosthenes? i should look him up! and now we’re talking about mammoths,  cool , i love mam

“a crumbling, confused pile of enraged starfish”

now this… this is a post on tumblr dot com

i’m still sad Eratosthenes missed out on the mammoths by like >< much