Siri find me some self confidence

*opens pill botttle*

*opens water bottle*

*pours some water out into my hand*

“Wait. No, that’s…no.”

me trying to write a conclusion to my paper

me all 47 times ive watched gone girl when nick starts macking on his side piece in his sisters damn house when his WIFE is MISSING

……..isn’t his wife like….a terrifying sociopath who murders a dude and fucks with people’s lives for no adequate reason?

why do you hate women

how do people leak songs where do they come from what are you

raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimized by your own gastrointestinal tract

if catholicism/christianity is fake… mary really was in that for the long haul. she pulled the longest con in existence & even got her kid in on it

mary’s friend gabriel who knocked her up: you told joseph i was a what now?

mary, taking a sip of her coffee: an angel, gabe. try to keep up.

joseph: what the hell, you’re pregnant?

mary, about to invent christianity: oh? you haven’t heard?

legalize pussy 

i’m not just talking about medicinal pussy. recreational pussy babey

im like 99% sure this photoset drops in image quality every time it passes my dash

My nips: *get really pokey out of nowhere*

Me: what is it girls? what do you see?

if we date and break up you gotta unlearn all the cool shit i taught you. you gotta go back to being lame

Holy shit

Oh…damn…

.. My heart.

this proves that if you take away all the horrible dialogue, awkwardness, bad editing, and repulsive graphics from the prequels, they could have really been something worthwhile

yall know so much about astrology

We’re all just making shit up as we go

yall know so much about astrology: Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo we’re just making shit up as we go: Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Aquarius, Pisces 

wheres capricorn

Wheres capricorn: capricorn

this is still the funniest fucking thing i remember being 7 and almost throwing up watching this and now im 20 puking onto my rug 

cats opening doors with their faces is astounding. you got four paws little fool.

ariana has the right idea. if you don’t have my initials tattooed somewhere on your body by the third date i’m blocking your number.