if youre here hiya

Wait... is that the "Don't tread on me" snake?

Yeah, it is.

I have been saving this since last year. Happy Earth Day everyone.

literally has been in my queue for an entire year. you just can’t miss reblogging.

Hell yeah earth day

HAPPY FUCKING EARTH DAY Y’ALL

APPRECIATE OUR HOME PLANET

you know what really gets my goat?

el chupacabra

I’m sorry!? What?!

Whoa, chupacabra’s a millennial?

The first person who claimed they saw the chupacabra described it as being bipedal, having greenish-grey reptilian skin, and having a row of spikes down its back. She had also recently seen the 1995 film Species, which happens to feature an alien that looks like this:

Oh I was already beaten to this explanation so I’ll reblog this one. Shame she left out one critical detail though. We could have had three decades of tits out goatsucker legends.

he went out, he left, no longer with us

the cashier at barnes & noble just gave me this duck at checkout and they said “i give these to children and people with a certain vibe.”

floored to know something about me aligns with this duck

at duty’s end

I think they would've been friends

I’m just thinking about how many times I’ve heard my dad on a long call with an obvious scammer and I’ll start begging him to get off the phone because I always think he’s a very easy mark and he’ll just keep going and then after a while he’ll say something like “I died 20 years ago” and hang up.

Virgin Millennial Daughter with 20 hrs of screentime a day: Dad! They’re scamming you! Dad! Stop! They will take your savings and your identity! Hang up before they SWAT you!

Chad Boomer dad with a flip phone he has not recharged since 2014: Well gee I wish I could give you my bank account number after you spent all this time on the phone explaining this car deal with me but I don’t have access to my finances because I am in Rikers for felony murder.

WEAPONIZE THE HYPERFIXIATION!

I work in gaming and do this all the time. I learnt long ago that no matter what games I name, when a guy demands I name what I'm playing, that they will shit on them.

So now I just make shit up when they try to "catch me out" and listen as they list how wrong I am and all the things wrong with something that doesn't even exist. It's a wonderful hobby and I heartily recommend it.

zenyatta ponders the orb

why the FUCK are weekends only 2 days long do you really think that's enough to recover from the horrors of the work week. really.

Hey weird question but what happens if you put two reasonably likeable anthropologists of wildly different cultures together in the same room? Do they study each other? CAN they? Is it like an infinite conversational feedback loop? I'm imagining two dogs eternally sniffing each others butts at the park

"everybody hates me" factoid actually just a statistical error. The average person doesn't hate you, especially not your friends. You, a person who sits in your room experiencing self loathing every day, are an outlier adn should not have been counted.

a message from ur local zen main

*proceeds to rant about humankind on omnichan*

(idea for the last line came from here)

Words of encouragement from the omnics 👍

Tysm for all of your nice comments in the reblogs and inboxes btw! [explodes you passionately]