she wears snort snirts i wear sneep snops

Remember when Love, Simon said „I‘m just like you. I have a big house in the suburbs, i drive a brand new car, and I have 3 friends who like hanging out with me. I‘m just like you, except, I’m gay.“ and I thought, buddy, I have nothing in common with you except being gay

Hope you’re enjoying the last 100 days of the decade, lads. 

with how fucked up gotham is i bet the cost of living is mad low…bruce probably isn’t even that rich…he moves to metropolis and is middle class…

who else?… follow @isnt for more

Wait is this the same cat from that “my cat always looks like she just found out her husband died at sea” tweet??

IT IS

uterus culture is forgetting all the weird symptoms that come along with your period every month and wondering why you’re feeling some kind of way until you Realize

are you ever scrolling through tumblr and you have a thought and immediately lose it so you have to scroll back up to give your brain the conditions under which it originally created the thought so you can bring it back

I have no unique experiences apparently

i’m really bored with my first name 

your name is now crab78

NOT gonna say this again!! A CYBORG is something PARTIALLY ROBOTIC. An ANDROID is something that is FULLY ROBOTIC, MADE TO LOOK HUMAN. A ROBOT is FULLY ROBOTIC and NOT DESIGNED TO LOOK HUMAN!!

why then it’s GREASED LIGHTNIN’!!!!

i think chris fleming understands what it means to be human more than anyone else 

when chris fleming said “a man is someone who goes full ‘streetcar named desire’ at 2 pm in a bertuccis’” gender theorists everywhere should’ve just given up

there’s no such thing as a convenient window through which to view che–

*To the tune of “We Built this City*: I PET THIS KITTY

I PET THIS KITTY AND BOOP ITS NOSE

@under-the-arch Your anthem

Salem Witch Trials (1693, colorized)

Some days I’m like..fashion doesn’t matter….some days I’m like. Fashion is all we have

Yesterday at work this lady was buying a leaf plate and when I told her I thought it was cute she said “Yeah, it’s perfect for my treehouse!”. I was like “oh, do you have kids?” and she said “yeah, I have kids, they just aren’t allowed in my treehouse” and honestly same

lmao excuse my language but reese’s penis butter cups lol 

ᶦⁿˢᵗᵃᵍʳᵃᵐ

my ass w hearing problems: oh id love a sandwich from americas favorite sub sandwhich chain Subway ™ eat fresh ™

subway employee: whispering sweetly behind the 5 inch kevlar barrier between me and the sandwhich accessories

me, sweating: IM SORRY WH

subway man: beat root? you want fucking beat root?

me, crying: ingredience…