au where a bunch of star wars characters get pulled out of time and into a room with each other

characters:

-anakin, season 7 clone wars

- obi wan, post revenge of the sith

- din djarin, just after boba fett's show ended

- luke skywalker, right after a new hope

- bo katan, after return of jedi

- han solo, after a new hope

- qui gon jinn, just before his death in the phantom menace

IMAGINE THE CHAOS. almost every single person has some connection with someone, but lets tie some of those to anakin first since he has the most

obi wan looks at anakin and is like "i just cut you into pieces and watched you burn?" and anakin is like "hey what thE FUCK?" and then luke tries to cut in to break them up and anakins like "who do you think you are?" and luke is like "luke skywalker, actually. whats your problem bitch?" and anakins like. "what" and obi wan is like "what" and anakin is like "who are your parents?!?!?!" and he has a reset when luke is like "well they died a while ago but i think my father's name was anakin"

and then QUI GON comes in and is like "wait are you anakin skywalker?" and anakin is like "yes- qUI GON!?!?!??!"

obi wan is like "oh my god im so sorry i just killed anakin" and qui gon and anakin and luke are all like like "WHAT"

and then din cuts in and is like "wait youre luke skywalker? you were my son's daycare teacher" and luke is like "WHAT?!?!" and din is like "yeah after i became the leader of mandalore you came and killed like 25 on-crack stormtroopers to get to him"

and bo-katan is like "IM SORRY YOURE THE LEADER OF WHAT"

and then han solo comes in and is like "wait luke you know this bounty hunter? i think i heard of him" and then din is like "arent you the hunter who helped blow up the death star, got kidnapped by jabba in carbonite, and then married the princess of alderaan?" and han is like "I MARRIED WHO???!??!!"

and obi wan is like "wait but isnt the princess of alderaan luke's sister?"

and luke is like "I HAVE A SISTER?!?!" while anakin is like "I HAVE A DAUGHTER TOO!?!??!?!"

and then padme from revenge of the sith shows up and leia from a new hope shows up and padme is like "anakin? but you just choked me out on mustafar?" and anakin is like "WAIT WHAT NO" and then leia sees luke and is like "hey whats happening-" and luke is like "YOURE MY SISTER?!?!?" and han is like "I MARRY YOUR SISTER?" and leia is like "YOURE MY BROTHER?!"

and then anakin is like "WAIT I DIDNT KILL YOU" and padme is like "ANAKIN YOU PRETTY MUCH DID" and the palpatine from return of the jedi shows up and is like "oh hey anakin did you know you turn into a sith after obi wan slices off your limbs?" and anakin goes to obi wan and is like "YOU DID QHATTATTWQH+WHAT!!??!?!" and then hes like "IM A SITHHH!?!??!?!?!"

and then qui gon is like "OBI WAN I TOLD YOU TO MAKE HIM INTO A JEDI"

and obi wan is like "THATS WHAT I D I D" and then din is like "wait is he that darth vader guy i heard about who blew up alderaan?" and leia is like "WHAT THE FUCK THAT WAS MY FATHER!??!?!"

had to like slap and remind myself that the Obi-Wan Kenobi show is NOT in fact a fix it and Obi-Wan and Vader will NOT have a homoerotic fight scene that ends with Obi-Wan gently placing his hand on Vader’s vocoder, calling him Dear One leading up to homoerotic crying repressed men as the world burns around them

obi-wan kenobi | part iii

Kinda feel like Anakin wrote the Obi-Wan show. It would explain a lot.

- Obi-Wan's intense misery and inability to forget about Anakin for ten years

- how extremely perfect his daughter would be and how Obi-Wan would adore her

- the Padme references

- every Vader scene

- the bits that are kind of weirdly rushed and don't quite make sense, because it's not beta-read, he hasn't got the patience

Wow we really just got a 40-minute Vaderwan fic tagged hurt no comfort, not a fix-it

STAR WARS: EPISODE II – Attack of the Clones OBI-WAN KENOBI – Part III

Bonus points if there’s a “who did this to you?” in there

I need a gentle cupping of the uninjured side of the face, or it didn’t happen.

love how this whole “new people coming to tumblr now” situation has exactly the vibe of strange showing up in the saloon of an old western town and stepping on the creaking floorboard

”Listen up, Stranger. Since you already stumbled in here, there is a few things you should know. First of all, this is a lawless land. There is no algorithm, and there are no ways to control which posts get traction. They do, or they don’t. Second, we do not do well with influencers here. You can try, but you won’t last long. They never do. Third, no one trusts a stranger who hides behind a default icon and only watches from afar. We have dealt with those before, and it did cost us. If you want to gain trust, talk to and support your fellas, and they will eventually return the favour. Finally, we like real fights in here. This is not a place of where you get unalived. This is a place where you die.”

now all i’m thinking about is like an episodic sitcom star wars series set in the Jedi Temple during the Clone Wars and revolves around new characters but with Generals Skywalker and Kenobi and the Jedi Council in the background

like all the initiates hear that Ahsoka Tano is Anakin Skywalker’s padawan which is wild they hadn’t even known he was an option, but also that means Obi-Wan Kenobi is still an option (!!!!) so everytime Obi-Wan is on leave back at the Temple, there’s this group of like twelve to thirteen year olds trailing behind him trying to do nice things and competing for his attention and his favor (like the Bachelor reality show but it’s called Master and Obi-Wan doesn’t realize he’s playing)

and behind that group is a pair of cloaked individuals with the exact same heights as anakin skywalker and ahsoka tano, looking to sabotage the initiates because ACTUALLY obi-wan ISN’T available, ACTUALLY Obi-Wan is very, very taken and he is too busy being THEIR master and co-master so SCRAM

a silly hc I like to think about is that most Jedi have a very vague concept of money.

sure they know what money is and get the principle of exchanging it for goods and services, but they grow up without having to use it in the Temple so what's the point of knowing the price of a jogan fruit if you can just ask for one in the refectory?

The accounting department is traditionally run by non-Jedi because none of them knows how taxes work or what a balance sheet is. Accountants working at the Temple are the most exasperated people in the galaxy and their daily conversations are like,

"master Kenobi went on a 2-week long mission and didn't ask for an allocation. Again. I wonder if he's going to admit he forgot and call for help at one point or try to sell most of his clothes at the highest price possible. Can't wait to read his report."

"can someone explain to me how Master Fisto left a month ago with 400 credits and came back with twice that amount? What did he do to earn that much money?"

"remember that time Master Jinn asked us to send him the equivalent of the GDP of a small mid rim planet because he gambled on a Force-intuition? yeah, I don't miss this guy."

anyway my point was actually: Anakin Skywalker, who grew up working in a shop and has never paid a price he didn't bargain for before, is one of the only Jedi the accounting department considers responsible and pragmatic.

Obi-wan just knows that they gave him a card, and he can get things if he shows them the card.

He doesn't know what a credit limit is. He's mildly confused whenever accounting gets mad at him. He has no idea a credit is actually worth. He has no intention of finding out.

some of my favourite additions, you all get it

Here are some passages from Jude Watson’s “The Last One Standing” that give me psychic damage!!!! This is the beginning of the short story—it opens with the fact that Obi-Wan is ruminating on Anakin:

He's having conversations with him in his head, constantly consumed by rehashing old arguments and figuring out the perfect sequence of words. He believes he is dead at this point, Luke is still a baby so he hasn't learned about Vader. He literally thinks he's arguing with the man that he loved and killed, like:

Engaged with him so intensely... Grin or scowl, he'd take anything, any mood, any defiance, just to see him again. He's aware that he's violating the Code, not accepting what happened, not accepting the the man he knew and loved could have done the things that he did. This results in a depression so profound that I recognize it from personal experience lol:

He didn’t want to appreciate anything, a place of no color, flat light, dark shapes. It suited him now. Like fuck, dude, I want to forcefeed him some of my wellbutrin. When Ewan says that at the beginning of the Kenobi show, he feels broken and faithless? If he is feeling like the above? It is going to break my heart to watch Ewan do that. I cannot watch him self-flagellate and pine:

His longing for the past is so palpable you can almost taste it. Flying together, wingtip to wingtip, relying on each other, Anakin made him feel more daring. He's consumed with how entangled their lives were, how much they shaped each other, how Anakin made him feel. He's violating the Code again, clinging to those memories, that old identity, wondering what he did wrong, and never able to find an answer.

To have no one by his side, ever again. Master to none, life linked to no one. Coexist with memories he could not live with. His memory of Anakin like a living fire in his gut. Like, this is so painful lmao. I just ache with him and his grief, his loneliness without Anakin, without the rest of the Jedi. I cannot believe Anakin did this to him, and neither can he. CANNOT WAIT for the show to dramatize this all and ruin my life ✌️

once i was at the philly museum of art and a security guard saw me looking at this sculpture that is just a head of romaine lettuce tied to a block of granite with a piece of wire (sculpture that eats by giovanni anselmo) and he was like. i’m here sometimes when the lettuce guy comes in to change the lettuce.

I wish i would’ve thought of this when I was in school

That’s the most Chaotic Neutral Parent thing I’ve ever heard

Kinda sad that the Obi-Wan show isn't set in between Obi-Wan's death and Anakin's death, because I would pay 3x more for Disney+ to get a series that's just Obi-Wan haunting the fuck out of Vader and making snotty commentary at him while he's trying to work and saucily prancing around looking 20 years younger (and possibly scantily clad) while Anakin does everything he possibly can to not react. Like, that's the entire show.

I could crank out an entire season like that.

Ep 1: Vader is flummoxed to discover his former, recently-murdered Master has returned to visit the living realm (and is set on annoying Vader as much as possible).

Ep 2: Vader must lead an important invasion of a nearby planet whilst ignoring Obi-Wan's biting critiques that only he can hear.

Ep 3: Vader returns to his lava castle to discover that all of his furniture has been infuriatingly, ever-so-slightly shifted around by an unknown party in his absence.

Ep 4: Vader's suffering deepens as Obi-Wan discovers that he can modify his own ghostly self's wardrobe, with scandalous results.

Ep 5: Vader must conceal the presence of his scantily-clad former Master's ghost during an hours-long meeting with his new Master, Darth Sidious.

Ep 6: Obi-Wan gets a karaoke machine and an air horn.

Ep 7: Vader's plans to spend a quiet weekend in his bacta tank are interrupted when he arrives to find Obi-Wan has discovered a room in Vader's castle with a variety of Obi-Wan Kenobi memorabilia.

Ep 8: Vader is mortified when Obi-Wan, back from a visit to the site of the old Jedi Temple, manages to find -- and read aloud constantly from -- one of Anakin's old journals.

Ep 9: After falling ill with the space flu, Vader is furious to be subjected to the indignity of being cared for by Obi-Wan. The pair argue about other times that Obi-Wan has come to Anakin's aid.

Ep 10: Vader is thrown for a loop and fights to stay focused at work when Obi-Wan's ghost suddenly stops appearing to him.

Ep 11: With Obi-Wan having returned from a brief hiatus back to the Force, Vader finds himself struggling to hide his relief at his former Master's return.

Ep 12: (Season Finale Cliffhanger) Vader must reckon with his feelings after accidentally calling Obi-Wan "Master".

Additional history note, for people who aren’t aware of it: In 1973, homosexuality was removed from the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder) as a mental illness. Before that time, it was officially listed as, and treated as, a psychiatric disorder, like schizophrenia: a condition that requires treatment, with the goal of removing it, or minimizing its effects if that wasn’t possible.

How happy someone was with it wasn’t important - it was considered a disease. Anyone who was happy being gay was considered to ill to realize how damaged they were.

Claiming that Kirk and Spock might have those feelings for each other was a hard clash against mainstream psychology. It was a very controversial opinion, because it meant not only looking at the series and saying, “I’m seeing a relationship that I’m pretty sure the writers didn’t consciously intend,” but also, “oh, and the entire AMA and the combined wisdom of its doctors are clueless about how human relationships work.”

Believing that two people of the same sex could have a healthy, loving relationship was an act of defiance all on its own.

I see that this post is trending today, so I’m going to take this moment to reblog it myself with the important addition of the comments from @elfwreck (Thank you for these, @elfwreck !)

I’d like to add a bit more historical context myself. Until the 1970s, years after TOS had finished its run, sodomy was a felony in 49 out of 50 states of the US – a felony which was punishable by prison or death. Throughout the 60s and into the 70s, I can remember reading carefully-worded news stories about gay men being arrested and given decades-long prison sentences.

For being gay.

Think about this for a moment. When TOS was on the air, not only was a white man kissing a Black woman a crime in a third of the country – but one man in a consensual, loving sexual relationship with other was committing a crime so serious he could be imprisoned or killed in every state but one.

I’ve seen tags from people and received questions about why Spock and Kirk were not allowed to be out on TV, since they were so clearly in love.  This was not remotely possible at that time. The average American understood a man who loved another man to be mentally ill and his behavior to be criminal.

@elfwreck put it beautifully above: “Believing that two people of the same sex could have a healthy, loving relationship was an act of defiance all on its own.”

In the early years of writing slash, one had to be very, very careful about who knew you read or wrote such material. Women and men both went to jail for violating obscenity laws. Just letting people know you entertained the idea of “The Premise” of K/S love could (and did) have people openly questioning your mental health, your morality, your character, your ability to do your job, and the safety of children in your presence. I know a woman who lost all rights to visit her own children in a divorce, when the court found out she had K/S slash material in her home.

This entire post is great, but that last sentence…OOF.

This is why we don’t take kindly to “fiction reflects your personal morality” very kindly ‘round these parts. Because THIS sort of thing is what it leads to.

Be thankful the world has changed considerably from this.

I’m just gonna pull that out here:

In the early years of writing slash, one had to be very, very careful about who knew you read or wrote such material. Women and men both went to jail for violating obscenity laws. Just letting people know you entertained the idea of “The Premise” of K/S love could (and did) have people openly questioning your mental health, your morality, your character, your ability to do your job, and the safety of children in your presence. I know a woman who lost all rights to visit her own children in a divorce, when the court found out she had K/S slash material in her home.

Emphasis mine.

So afaik Jimbert (written at the time under cover of semi-OMCs as Tris/Alex) is the oldest bandom slash and some of the oldest RPF slash. I mean look at what was going on in this timeline and think how amazing that was, and ask yourself ‘why them’

I have to add, in case the 1970s seems a long long time ago to you*, that these sorts of concerns were still very much at the forefront of our minds when making the AO3 in 2007; many of us who were involved with AO3 were archivists who were used to getting frantic emails from fans asking us to make their fic disappear immediately now now! because divorce or they’d been reported to the school board or whatever–and we did! But “control over your own fanworks” and the ability to private or orphan them yourself in case the archivist was busy or had GAFIATED or whatever was a MAJOR FEATURE. *if 2007 seems a long long time ago to you, well, then I can’t help you.

no wait this is the most alive ive felt in months someone announce something else batshit lets keep this shit train going what im feeling is not serotonin but BOY is it getting my blood pumping

2020 may be the worst year so far but at least she’s a comedian assjfklflskd

——

Instagram | Twitter | Etsy | BigCartel

the mood in here is electric