Why would you hide this in the tags?

I love how tumblr is reverse chronological order so when your mutual starts having a blorbo breakdown overnight you get to start with the insane conclusion and work your way back to where they first went off the rails.

i was with my mother’s family and they were talking to me about my religious studies major. my great aunt asked me what the definition of hell was, and i responded “well i suppose it depends on who you ask.” and nearly all the protestants in the group decided that hell was “the absence of god” which i suppose is a fair answer, albeit not a universal one. my cousin’s wife was playing with her 3-year-old daughter and she says “well mommy says that hell is a mcdonald’s playplace” asdfghjhgfd

this 3-year-old girl is so fucking hilarious. her mothers have signed her up for a toddler yoga class, and so she has adopted a very unique language. this child also has an imaginary friend named “mom” which is, in her mind, the boss of her two mothers. for example, my cousin’s wife explained to me how her daughter got mad at them one time. the little girl situated herself in the corner of her crib, pretended to type on a cell phone and said  “im writing an email to mom right now and telling her how bad you two are. namaste.”

the family’s Big Theory about “Mom” is that both my cousin and her wife are referred to as “Mommy” and “Mama.” The nickname “Mom” is not used in the house because it would just be confusing. However, when interacting with the world, people tell their daughter that they will “tell her mom” if she is doing something wrong. so this child automatically assumes there is this greater “Mom” figure that is responsible for distributing universal justice. 

To be fair to the toddler, that’s pretty much how religions get started.

Our Mom, who art gonna hear about this,

There are manmade joys beyond my comprehension, too. The horrors aren’t special.

scarecrow

This is actually something I was thinking about is that rent can not exceed 1/3 of monthly minimum wage income.

So let's say state is on federal Minimum wage which is about 1100 a month so in that state no matter what rent on any place could not exceed 370 dollars.

Even if minimum wage was 15 dollars (about 2400 a month) max rent could be 800

So if landlord want more money they would have to fight bosses and state legislature to get it.

Like average Pennsylvania rent is 1400 and in this world if landlord wanted to charge that the would have to get minimum wage raised to 26 dollars an hour.

To bosses and landlords:

In terms of bed, I have no bed

Only NEST

They can’t stand us haha

Her name is Nia Dennis and she’s all this and more. Why stop at excellence when you can hit perfection. 

I’m her teammates in the background losing their minds because this woman straight up modified the laws of physics

have you or a loved one been diagnosed with asshole? you may be entitled

i forgot what i was saying mid sentence but this may actually be the best joke ive ever made

i love it when people like “omg [story] copied [other story]” and then list the steps of the heroes journey

Me irl

This is one of the most adorable comics I’ve ever read

I’ve been waiting for this to pop back up on my dashboard.. we are way too hard on ourselves.

I needed that.

there is so much love in friendship, people forget that

So uhhhh. I was stretching this morning for ~flexibility~ and I kicked the solid wooden banister that is attached to the stairs. I curl up on the ground and my mom gets me ice thinking it is just shock. Fast forward two hours later and my mom asks me to do the dishes. Cool cool, I can't walk. I get to the bottom and yelp. And then my dad gave me ice and said I'm in time out now until my busted butt can go for some X-rays. Yayyyyy

UPDATE: I spent 3 or so hours in the ER to find out that I dislocated the second joint of my fourth toe. In that time the Nurse Practitioner examined me and said to the other nurse "The patient in room 13 (me) is strange her pain isn't radial. It should be shooting."

Fun times.

Are we all crying together on this warm Tuesday night in June

adhd culture is writing fast but having your mind go even faster so you accidentally a few words

Adhd culture is also reading so fast your brain doesn’t even register words missing from the above post