*crouches to go into stealth*

the cracking of my knees alerts the guards, I am immediately killed

‘redditors need to know this’, ‘twitterinas need to know that’… no. you need to know one thing and that is that you are not allowed to complain about werewolf fuckers. this is the werewolf fucking website. grow up and go fuck a werewolf.

What does this gif have to do with werewolves?

if you have to ask you’re not ready

can you explain? i don’t get it

This is like someone just informed the newcomers about the devils sacrament taking place every full moon and the devil itself popped up asking “what sacrament?” with a cheshire grin.

huge fan of reading and learning, but also an even bigger fan of sleeping and being unconscious.

phallus

this doesn't render on windows unless next to a non-phallus hieroglyph so here is a version for windows users:

𓀐𓂸

Prev: mobile user here! theres fucking nothing here

It's supposed to look like this:

Prev: How did someone make this??

Unicode, the technical standard describing what text symbols exist in computers¹ and how they are encoded², has a block containing Egyptian Hieroglyphs. And since there exists an Egyptian Hieroglyph depicting a penis³, they included it in the standard. And since most computers follow that standard, they can display a penis.

You can check out unicode characters for example here:

1) There do actually exist different standards describing which characters computers should use and how they should be encoded. These days pretty much everyone uses UTF-8 (Unicode Transformation Format) because when exchanging data between computers or programs everyone must use the same encoding to get readable results.

This also means that unicode must (try to) support pretty much everything any human could ever want to write, which means it includes many things like mathematical symbols, special symbols for just about every language, emoji, combining characters that modify other characters, a variety of spaces, box drawing symbols, control characters for eg. text direction, ...

2) Which is actually somewhat complicated. Unicode assigns each symbol a number, but then the text (sequence of symbols) needs to be converted into a sequence of bytes. This is done via the Unicode Transformation Format, which actually results in different characters needing differently many bytes to store.

Also, certain emoji (flags, anything with skin colors or gender, emoji depicting multiple people) are actually multiple characters that get squished into one symbol when rendered.

3) There actually exist three. The above, a version with cloth (𓂹) and one with emission (𓂺).

Also the unicode standard defines words like character, symbol, glyph, ... to have exact meanings, I used the interchangeably here.

this made me have a complete meltdown with delight as I went from "bwahahaha penis sign lol lmao" to "wait if hieroglyphs are unicode there must be an oryx one" and THERE IS!

look at it! 𓃲

𓃲𓃲𓃲𓃲 <- herd!

and the newborn hartebeest!!! 𓃛

frog! horned viper! CREATURES! I'm so happy! I'm gonna be so insufferable with this!

it's kinda crazy. you can use these like more detailed emojis, or even make whole stories without using a single letter. here's an example:

𓀥 𓁆 𓀕

𓁆 𓀟 𓀣 𓁀

What the Fuck??

People think of children as either sweet and innocent or too stupid to cause much trouble and both views are wrong. A child of elementary school age has the moral reasoning and impulse control of a racoon paired with problem solving equal to or superior to an adult’s, yet unbound by the shackles of cautionary experience or awareness of long-term consequence. 

This is what allows the children to both create a black market in live bioweapons while still only valuing said weapons at 25 cents.

reblog the money pigeon for a financially stable future

I reblog  the money pigeon because I love him.

I reblog the money pigeon because its a dinosaur

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKK

#in dark mode it’s like they’re in absolute agony at coming into existence

I feel cheated. no one on Reddit told me that tumblr is a serotonin factory. Keep liking and reblogging my posts please thanks

Just don't fly too close to the sun.

Throw me to the sun and I’ll get it pregnant

Fellas (gender neutral), you heard him. Ready the catapults.

#oh this place is HAUNTED haunted

NOW it’s serious

World Heritage Post

what if cas started giving the news instead just to spice it up a bit

Do you ever eat popcorn out of the palm of your own hand with such ardent desperation that you feel like both a wild horse and the gentle schoolgirl feeding it treats to gain its affection 

Hey there guys. It’s me, in 2022, commenting on this post from 2016. There’s been a lot of people on this site lately being like “oooh no don’t make viral uwu I’m so pathetic, little, and defenseless and my poor notifications can’t handle 10k reblogs” well first of all ALL of us are pathetic, little, and defenseless and secondly none of our notifications can handle 10k reblogs and thirdly I’m not a coward and I think this should have a million notes. Not because of its own merit as a post, I just think it’d be funny if when I turn 30 this year and I reflect on the greatest accomplishments of my life thus far, I have to at least consider putting “famous tumblr popcorn post” on the list

Hey there guys. It’s me, in 2023, in May specifically, I’m 30 and for the record it rules, I had a lil aging crisis and now I’m past that and I’m just like goddamn it is great being in my thirties and I had a wonderful birthday NO THANKS TO YOU GUYS

actually, much thanks to you guys. Some of you were inspiringly crazy about this post. Frankly you worked harder for this than I did, and your efforts were touching and inspiring and funny and yet we STILL FAILED. GUYS WE GOTTA PUT OUR EYES BACK ON THE BALL. We have ehhh about six months before I turn the big three-one, which is actually the most important birthday because now you’re in your thirties For Real, and I personally can’t think of a better way to ring in my 31st year of life than by trying and failing to do something that I was hoping to knock out in my twenties.

Good luck, kiddo

Are you satisfied, op? When will it be enough?

I feel I couldn’t have been clearer about the number at which this will be enough

You guys I had this whole fucking bit planned. I was gonna pathetically beg for notes for months. It was gonna be a whole progressively building thing. But you guys were, and I say this with complete affection, so fucking annoying to me personally and to everyone who follows you. Again, I really phoned this in. Some of you guys were just like “what if I replied every letter of the alphabet one at a time and then did it again.” And then reblogged it 30 times. That’s so much work to make some numbers go up and again so annoying to so many people. You all should be proud. I did literally ask for this. Your weird level of work made me feel connected to a sea of strangers who wanted me to succeed but also, and again I say this with affection and love, annoyed me deeply along the way.

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

The perfect conclusion to this saga

cockroaches crawl, idiot

So if this (unconfirmed!) report is true, then today is the end of Putin being considered a "strongman" leader. The only way that reputation could have survived was by killing or imprisoning Prigozhin. Instead, one of his underlings— literally his former chef!— stood against Putin's desires and still got exactly what he wanted, without the Russian military ever laying a finger on him. Putin's forces couldn't stop the mutiny on their own, he had to address the nation on TV about the fact that the Russian government was being challenged from within, and even still that wasn't enough to stop it.

The illusion of Putin's invincibility and singular genius has been damaged in a way that will be tricky to spin for domestic Russian audiences. It's now been brought out into the open that he operates the way most dictators do: sharing power amongst a coalition of allied stakeholders who possess the ability to alter the direction of Russian policy against Putin's will.

The madman must have done it. He has no reason to retreat like this unless a deal’s been made, an outcome I’ve previously been assuming the Russian government would try to avoid at all costs because of how weak it makes them look. They would only agree to a deal if they couldn’t find a way to take Prigozhin out. The only questions now are 1) what the deal looks like and 2) if the Russian government still tries to kill Prigozhin anyway once his forces stand down.

It also sounds like a lot of Wagner fighters are unhappy with this outcome, and were hoping to take the fight all the way to Moscow. The most common emoji response to Prigozhin’s retreat announcement is 🤡

83,300 of your private mercenaries have reacted to your withdrawal from your coup attempt with a clown emoji

First day as a 21st Century warlord:

I wish lesbians were as easy to find in real life as they are on tumblr

11 FUCKING THOUSAND NOTES ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WHERE ARE YOU ALL COME DATE ME

ok

update: we are dating

update: we are married

update: we knocked up

This is the cutest story on the entirety of Tumblr, I swear to god!!!!!

Update: had a baby together

Update: he’s 1 year old today

Update: he’s 2 today

Update: baby number two, electric boogaloo

reverse gaslighting where i pretend to know exactly what you are talking about

academic conferences

Work meetings

Interviews

Auditory processing disorder

conversations with my cats who are yelling

Me letting that little kid with their hyper fixation tell me every single fact they know about it

Goncharov (1973)

for the redditors coming here, this is how we spread news of important events in the world, with a Destiel meme

For everybody who's been here a while and felt like Wiley E. Coyote just after running off the edge of the cliff when they scrolled down to find nothing below

So Arizona launched an “education hotline” that allows “concerned parents” to report “””critical race theory””” and other things like ~gender identity~ being taught in the classroom

It would be a shame if the number and email were spread to bad actors looking to prank call the AZ Department of Education

602-771-3500 or empower @ azed .gov 🤡

and for the love of god, don’t just spam it with memes or le funny shrek jokes or whatever, they’ll just hang up

make plausible-sounding reports for things that don’t actually exist, so that they actually have to waste time/resources investigating false leads - the goal is to waste time they would otherwise be using to do their jobs, not to get tumblr clout for being an epic troll

So apparently the internet article said the superintendent wouldn't be deterred by the prank calls because they would 'taper off eventually'. It'd be a real shame if this post stayed in circulation via queues so they get a consistent list of prank calls to filter through. 😇

I’m a red-blooded corn-fed AMERICAN MAN and if I wanna get my tits chopped off that’s my god-given right as a tax payer.

Why should the government tell me what my gender is? Back in my day we earned our own genders uphill in a blizzard both ways.

Well I think this post has started reaching people that don’t get the joke. It was nice knowing you all.

No but this is hilarious and reminds me of a galaxy-brained shirt I saw the other day

Walk into the nearest Hobby Lobby wearing this and watch people begin to disintegrate

I want that to become my 4th of July shirt. I want to wear that shirt to the family barbecue so bad.

Guess who’s $25 poorer and prepared for July 4th already

HERE'S YOUR DAILY REMINDER THAT

AND REMEMBER,

OP I sent this to my dad thinking he would be cheeky but

He was wholesome instead

Happy Father's Day everyone 😌