There had been small rumors floating around.
You take it… and you own it.
[Pride (2014), dir. Matthew Warchus, wr. Stephen Beresford.]
We’re here, we’re queer, and you should live in fuckin fear.
ameliaace
HAVE THE BEST PRIDE MONTH!
Happy Pride to the Aces!
WOOT WOOT
Hey friends!
If I reblog something that's procedurally-generated images ("AI art," which is neither) please do tell me.
But please don't say "this is clearly... " because clearly that wasn't noticed? People are on Tumblr on their phones, without their glasses on, lower vision ppl are on Tumblr... don't assume ppl are looking at the details or can even see them.
Info, not judgments about what we should have noticed, please.
Daughter of fantasy villains decides to rebel against her parents by actually going through with her arranged marriage to a local golden retriever of a prince instead of running off with some local villain-to-be or conquering said golden retriever’s kingdom and ruling it solo like her parents expect her to. Plus, sue her, she’s into the clean-cut earnest look.
At the same time, local prince charming discovers that he’s actually very into the gothic fiance his parents have landed him with in order to try and establish peace with the local evil lair down the lane, he would never have guessed a spiderweb pattern could look so fetching on a ball gown…?
Meanwhile, two pairs of parents in a tizzy because they both expected their offspring to whole-heartedly reject this union and give them an excuse to conquer their goody-two-shoes/evil neighbours, they’re not supposed to actually like each other-!
respective friend groups undergoing culture clash like all of prince charming’s knights are like what vile spell has been used to ensorcel our prince. we must be on our guard for surely this is but a ruse for an assassination attempt
meanwhile the villain bride’s friends are all like clearly he loves you not, why do you persist in a manner that will ensure your own heart break, i mean if he was taking this seriously there would be at least three assassination attempts by now. it’s like he doesn’t even notice that you have massive amounts of dark power to covet for his own
smashcut to
fully armored knight, clanging through the hallways in attempts at stealth, blades drawn: i’m just saying, i took an oath of protection. this feels wrong.
prince charming: it’s not wrong, it’s celebrating cross cultural traditions for my beloved bride
knight: it’s attempted murder
prince charming: it’s a loving attempted murder
@chucktaylorupset Meanwhile the bride has a bouquet of roses, cornflowers, and wheat sheaves on her desk in her room, and she’s not coming out until she’s written a beautiful and moving poem about how they favourably compare to her groom. It’s been three days. She’s gone through an entire raven’s worth of quills (unethically sourced). The ‘toads who used to be my friends’ list has gone up by one. But she’s bent dark forces and eldritch spirits to her will and, by the powers obscene, this will not be the thing that breaks her.
Sorceress friend: Please, just get him an amulet that will double his power at the cost of his soul, no one’s worth this.
Rebellious villainess: (nearly in tears) No, he brought his best knights to the castle and tried to kill me last week, at midnight, I can’t ignore something like that! He even kicked Cathulhu!
Sorceress friend: He nudged it with his foot. And then he apologized to it. In tears.
Rebellious villainess: (actually in tears now, for reasons of feels instead of poetic torment) He’s trying so hard!!!
Villainess: Beloathed, I need a goat.
Prince: Of course, darling - may I inquire as to what for?
Villainess: Blood sacrifice to the dark gods, you know how it is.
Prince: …
Prince: …darling, you know I support your lifestyle choices, but I must say this before it potentially happens.
Prince: I’m not all right with human sacrifice. That’s one of my boundaries. I don’t know if you do that or not, but it seemed a topical time to bring it up.
Villainess: (carefree laugh) Oh beloathed, don’t worry yourself about such things, I would never!
Villainess: (leading him off to the goat market) Only incompetents use actual humans. Skilled practitioners of the dark arts know that a goat is not only a sufficient sacrifice, but the superior one.
Prince: You don’t say? Fascinating!
@sapphire-monkey One of the nobles against the marriage in the prince’s kingdom invites the villainess to a local village’s blessing ritual, secure in the knowledge that it’s not only custom to wear the absolute palest white or undyed linen/woolen clothing one owns, it’s a requirement of the ritual and sacrilegious to do otherwise. Let’s see you deal with that miss all-black-wardrobe.
She arrives in diaphanous white silk edged with lace that gives the impression of beautifully tattered hems, all of it drifting gently around her on the spring breeze to give the feeling of a wraith from a haunted castle or something of the such. While not her personal cup of tea, she finds the ritual very moving, and absolutely understands why its one of her beloathed’s favorites.
One of the nobles from her kingdom, meanwhile, decides, fuck it, and just turns the prince into a frog. It takes her two minutes to find and fix him.
Villain noble: How.
Villainess: True love’s kiss, bitch.
Villain noble: (seethes)
The prince, meanwhile, pissed off the entire villainous court for the recent engagement ball that was held by knowing and responding accordingly to all the proper threats and insults. He studied before doing this, and he’s not going to shame darling in front of her peers! Bastard even managed to subdue his chivalry long enough to flirt with one of her friends right in front of her, how dare he be so considerate and sensitive to her needs like that-!?
i'm losing my mind @ this thread......historie......
also please note that this scientist is in fact the retired man who invented the xbox.
oh fuck i listened to a podcast that was interviewing him and the process he went through to make this bread, ologies with allie ward like he went through full on clean room levels of prep to ensure that this was 100% yeast from old egypt and had to bend over backwards to ensure everything involved was uncontaminated he then revealed that the original xbox logo...
is a sourdough boule
moth-ee
I wish this feeling upon everyone who wants to wear a dress, its really the best
this makes me so happy as a fat hairy guy who likes skirts and dresses i never get to see guys like me in dresses it’s always skinny twinks this makes me so happy 🥺🥺
If you are a larger gentleman, and wish to partake of the dress-wearing experience, please accept these tips to help fit your first dress!
1) You want something with stretch in it. Dresses are (often) built for people with boobs, and until you get familiar with how they fit your specific body, trying something super-stiff will 100% end in tears. I promise you, I am 32 years old, I have been wearing dresses all my life, and I still get pissed at dressing room mirrors because who the fuck designs some of these. There are fitted, tailored dresses designed by sane people who expect that their clothes will be worn by human beings, and they will make you look fine as fuck, but make your life easy and don’t start with them.
2) Dress sizes were designed by sixteen ferrets on crack and are not consistent between brands, styles, or vintage vs modern. Use them as a guideline, not a rule, and don’t let them upset you. Very often they’re adjusted in order to target a specific audience.
3) Lauren by Ralph Lauren is an amazing plus-size brand. Both of my fitted dresses are Lauren dresses, and that isn’t because I’m a label snob, it’s because I try on a dress that I think looks good and I go “YEEEEEEEEEESSSSS” and then pull it off and look at the label and go “ … . why am I surprised?” When you’re ready to branch out into fitted dresses, I strongly recommend finding your local Macy’s or Nordstrom and checking out their Lauren section. Even if you don’t buy anything from that section, it will give you a much better idea of how fitted dresses should look (flattering!) and feel (comfortable!).
4) Empire waists are your enemy. Those are the ones with the raised waistline that, on someone with boobs, sits right beneath said appendages. They will 1) ride up and 2) make you look pregnant, and without breasts to fill out the cups it’ll look like you don’t know how to fit your size. It does not matter who you are or how tall you are, if you’re above like a size four, empire waists are not going to be comfortable or give you the look you want. Just save yourself the time.
5) Arm holes on a sleeveless dress do not fit like arm holes on a tank top. They’re cut differently. Before you buy, MAKE SURE you cross your arms over your front and give yourself the biggest hug you can. Then put your arms behind you as far as you can. If you feel the fabric snag or chafe, you will end up wasting your money because the dress will be stupidly uncomfortable. You might be able to fix this by getting the same dress one size up, but if you choose to try one size up, prepare yourself for disappointment first. It’s often a sign of poor design or craftsmanship.
6) Part of trying on your dress should be SITTING DOWN. If this isn’t a dress you plan to wear with tights or leggings, you need to make sure it covers the backs of your thighs. (Either that, or you need to resign yourself to peeling yourself off chairs, and that fucking hurts.)
7) If you wear a mix of different underwear types, make sure you wear boxers when you go to try on dresses. Nothing will suck more than throwing on your dress and realizing you can see your shorts very easily underneath.
justlgbtthings
and if you don’t fit a dress you thought you would, don’t feel bad. it happens to girls all the time. dresses on average aren’t really made for anyone except really thin people.
Do I reblog this every time it crosses my dash? Yes, yes I do, because it contains helpful information for finding and trying on dresses, and EVERYONE deserves to try on dresses if they want.
My additional piece of advice? Damn near everyone, when trying on clothes, suddenly has Good Posture when they’re looking in the mirror. So give it a few minutes, then see how the dress feels when your body has relaxed into what your Regular Posture is.
why the FUCK are weekends only 2 days long do you really think that's enough to recover from the horrors of the work week. really.
Watching the other site eat itself from over here is definitely a mood, but I couldn't let this exchange disappear unpreserved
Consider it my social media migration credentials
“FMA is bad because it portrays war criminals as sympathetic, likable people” bro that’s the point. That’s the whole point. That is THE point. Did you think Ethnic Cleanser is some kind of special category of person that gets separated away from all the Good People at birth? Did you think there’s some kind of barn full of Genocide Doers that only gets deployed into the general public during world wars? Did you think assholes who do terrible shit in real life are never charming or likable or capable of doing good things and helping people? One of the best parts of FMA is how we the audience realize that some of our core protags have made irredeemable choices, and we have to reckon with the fact that they’re still people, with the unalienable rights and qualities thereof. Sorry if the Problematics aren’t constantly wearing a dunce cap and a list of all their crimes and this makes the media incomprehensible to you
These tags have passed peer review
Look we have records of Medieval Knights crying out in their sleep, having emotional outbursts or flinching at the sound of clashing metal. We have records of people all through history who were treated badly by people who should have loved them, and having problems knowing who to trust. We have years worth of artists putting their human pain at broken hearts and broken promises into music that makes us cry.
Yes people have been traumatized by awful things for all of history and just like them You didn’t deserve to be hurt either.
the whole squad
Thanks I hate it: sarcastic disdain, you don't enjoy this at all that's insufferable, I love it: prankster solidarity. A compliment for mischief. You gotta try this dude, it sucks: solidarity through communal self-flagellation It's terrible, watch it immediately: Your classic so-bad-it's-good media
Can’t forget, ‘gross, I love it’
Not to forget the iconic
How could people forget Data?
You’re worth more than that.
salty-space-god
Was gonna put this in the tags, but non-aces need to read this.
It’s never this blatant. I’ve told every partner I have had since identifying as Ace, that I am Ace and not into sex.
It starts out respectful everytime. They try to respect your passiveness to it, and you try to respect their want for it. Maybe you try to be sexual FOR them. I always did. That was the mistake. I tried to fill an area that was not ok with me, and so naturally it stopped eventually. I stopped giving it, and trying to enjoy it. That is always where the relationship issues start. The worst part is, they NEVER feel the need to apologise to you for making sex a necessary thing; But, YOU WILL apologise everytime to them for making sex an unnecessary thing.
Know now that IS NOT CONSENT! You aren’t an object, and you have the freedom to deny sex at any point for any reason, ESPECIALLY for safety and love. I can’t tell you all the ways not just my partners, but our friends made jokes or tried to tell me what I did wrong.
If you’re an allosexual, you NEED to get over it. If you love someone and they suddenly decide they don’t want sexual contact anymore, that should not be an issue. They are someone you love, supposedly deeply, which means you respect them.
Your privilege is getting to ask for sex in any relationship, is expecting it. Even if consent is given, it can be taken away at any point, and you need to respect that, otherwise, straight up don’t start the relationship. Do not joke about it, Do not make a big deal about it, Do not make it a topic of conversation. By doing so, you are telling that person who loves you, that they aren’t right, and that while you are missing nothing, they are missing a lot as a romantic partner for you. Then, they become an object in their head for you, to do right by you. It’s fucked up, and y'all need to start admitting you do that.
Aces are missing nothing. Our removal of consent is not a mistake, nor an issue, it is respect. It is not a topic for you or any of your friends to discuss. We say no at any time, and you respect that.
End of story.
he thinks he's being so smooth with his little face on my leg. i SEE you, villain
I do not ask this lightly, the Missouri AG’s office has started a site to build a list of trans people. Clog the system. That’s the life of a trans kid who gets another day on this earth. Spam the fuck out of it, it’s not sophisticated. You don’t need to use a real email. Post as much as you’d like
Go full Bart Simpson with this I want the brainless worthless cunts responsible for this to have to sort through thousands of fake reports with names like Hugh Jass and Amanda Hugankiss
Jew here to remind you this is literally, LITERALLY, how Hitler started the Final Solution. The 1938 German census included questions on religion and ethnicity that hadn’t previously been present and that information was used to track down Jews and Rromani people.
There is no “this is like” anymore. THIS IS. THIS IS WHERE WE ARE AT. We are in Germany 1938. We’ve already passed the Anschluss—Hitler’s first conquest/annexation.
What happens next is Krystallnacht. A night when Jews were dragged from their homes and businesses, beaten, and killed while German authorities watched. That was November 1938.
We have seen this before. Eleven million people are screaming from their unmarked graves for you to help.
gameandwatch-deactivated2013043
Penguin falls down resulting in best sound ever [x]
yggdrasilly
oh my god
ungrammaticholiday
NOOOOOOO
they all gasped like OHHH
shelbysbutt
IM CRYING IM PHYSICALLY CRYING HE FALLS AND THERE ALL LIKE WHAAAAWHOA U OK BRO AND HE GETS UP LIKE *SIGH* YEAH ITS FINE
Having a bad day? push play, and within six seconds all you will feel is tears of laughter streaming down your face and the stomach cramps of laughing too hard.
This is one of the finest things ever captured on film.
birchwitchbasic
I’m so happy this is back
Pingu is real
Cretaceous Characters - Quetzalcoatlus meets a sub-adult triceratops. Just a silly paleoart cartoon thing of mine.