Game of Thrones AU where everything is exactly the same, but the Stark family has never left winterfell
Cat: This massage says, that Stannis has declared himself king, too. That's the fourth person now.
Robb: Thats so cool! Can I be "King of the North"? One more wouln't hurt, right?
Ned: Shut up and eat your bacon.
...
Robb: We got a raven, that Renley got killed by a smoke monster.
Sansa: Are you sure, this is not one of Aryas pranks again?
Jon:...or Theons, like when he sent a message, that Bran and Rickon died in a fire, even though they sat at this very table at that moment?
...
Cat: Apparently someone poisend Jeoffrey at his wedding.
Ned: My money is on Petyr Bealish.
Cat: Why?
Ned: I don't like him.
...
Cat: This note says that Tywin Lennister got killed by his dwarf-son while he sat on the toilet.
Ned: See kids, thats why we make sure we're an acually well working family. Thank the old and the new gods that we're far away from those crazy people.