Luke asked “What is charcuterie?” in 2018, and a finger on the monkey’s paw curled back, causing all of us to learn about charcuterie in the following years.
mr darcy: lol ur sister doesn’t look in love to me
also mr darcy: but lizzie i’ve loved you for months :(
these photos send me over the edge every time, they really had no idea what vibe they were going for:
recently married pastor and first lady? teacher couple working in waterloo road?
or frasier crane's new best friends? carrie bradshaw's frenemy (meta) and mr big's worst nightmare? earth two olivia pope and fitzgerald grant???
funnytwittertweets
toganvorce
Put in the tags what your weird and obscure childhood faves are
[id: Tweet by @KrisWolfheart, which reads: "kids today are missing out of the pre-streaming era, where your childhood was at least partially defined by some semi-obscure movie your family just happened to own on tape and you watched several dozen times". end id.]
#we had all 4 herbie movies#the hayley mills film 'that darn cat'#the lindsey lohan parent trap#it takes two and how the west was fun and billboard dad#-all of which are mary kate and ashley movies#i'm sure there's a hyper obscure one i'm forgetting#misc#HI I REMEMBERED THE ONE I WAS FORGETTING#those magnificent men and their flying machines
It’s Fourth of July Eve so make sure to leave some milk and cookies out for Captain America
I THOUGHT AFTER FOUR YEARS YOU PEOPLE WOULD LET THIS DIE AND YET AGAIN I OPEN THIS CURSED APP TO FIND MORE NOTES ON THIS POST
One of my earlier embroidery animations, this was my second one. I made sure that the designs were very simple, since I wanted this to be fairly long. The tangled thread is just purposefully messed up French knots.
vampireapologist-archive-deacti
So I was once actually collecting data in a frozen river, and another guy fell in, filled up his waders and everything. He was wearing cotton (we were floored), and I had the car keys so I was like “alright, I’ll walk you back to the car to make sure you’re okay. Then you can strip down in there and get the heat going. There’s a blanket to wrap up in.” And he looked at me like I was insane. He said, “what? I’m fine.” I informed him that actually, if he stayed outside in subzero temperatures, soaking wet, in cotton, he was Licherly going to Freeze To Death, and he was like, “it’s not the 1800s lmao.”
And then while the guy in charge Forced him to go back to the car and strip, I had to stand there in a frozen river absolutely bewildered by the implication that a Wildife Biologist thought hypothermia is like, an old timey disease that people stopped getting at some point.
whoever’s idea it was to cast jenny slate as ben schwartz’s sister on parks and rec is a literal genius
it’s been said before but the fact this site used to let you edit other people’s posts is beyond unhinged. the potential for slander was next level, you really could just edit the body of posts that weren’t even your own and it’d look like the OP said it. just casually spread misinformation via reblog, the original post being lost to time. john green cock monologue. sayonara you weeaboo shits. they gave us way too much power. can you imagine if a website let you do that today? people would lose their fucking minds. sure, on twitter you can impersonate anybody, but you have to make your own tweets. they would never let you edit other people’s tweets! that’s stupid! it’s literally the worst feature any social media site could ever have! if it ever happened somewhere else, it would be by accident and fixed immediately! but on old school tumblr? yeah, you could edit someone’s childhood fear from vampires to danny devito, and we all just had to live like that for years. INSANE.
@babytrain I AM PUTTING YOU ON BLAST???!!! MISS MA'AM DO YOU KNOW HOW ICONIC YOU ARE????
I feel like I just bumped into an old god at Tesco
RIP Chidi Anagonye, you would've hated the new poll feature
Underrated/overlooked bit in Pride and Prejudice: In chapter 45, Elizabeth and her aunt have dropped by Pemberley to pay their respects to Miss Darcy, unbeknownst to Mr. Darcy, who's off fishing with Elizabeth's uncle and a few other dudes. But then Darcy finds out about the ladies' social call and deserts his dudes to hurry back to the house and barge in on the fancy lady tea time, all so he can talk to Elizabeth. He is not at all playing it cool and it's so funny and adorable and I love it!
Like, I'm imagining Uncle Gardiner just casually saying "I hope my wife and niece are having a nice time hanging out with your sister," and Darcy's like "Wait a second—are you saying Elizabeth—I mean Miss Bennet—is in my house right now?!". Mr. Gardiner tries to say "Well, probably, I mean, I don't know if they actually came, but they were planning on it...", but Darcy has already dropped his fishing pole and is sprinting back toward the house 😂
THE FRENCH????????????????????
From the official French Embassy twitter account:
I do love our adventures. But isn’t it fun when they’re over?
Downton Abbey (2019) dir. Michael Engler
We've all gotten just a bit too comfortable being jerks to strangers on the internet I think
So I've hidden this reply, both because it's obnoxious and because I don't want the person who wrote it being harassed for it, but I need you to understand: I don't know you. We are not friends. This is not fun or cute, we are not sharing a charming joke together. You are just being an asshole.
