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Shall Remain Untitled

@sunshinemule

I devote way to much of my time to fanfiction

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.” Man: ‟Yes it is.” Boy: ‟I have a baseball.” Man: ‟That’s nice.” Boy: ‟Want to buy it?” Man: ‟No, thanks.” Boy: ‟That’s my dad outside.” Man: ‟How much did you say the baseball was again?” Boy: ‟$250.”

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom’s lover are in the closet together.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.” Man: ‟Yes, it is..” Boy: ‟I have a baseball glove.” Man: ‟That’s nice.” Boy: ‟Want to buy it?” Man: ‟No, thanks.” Boy: ‟I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad.” Man: ‟How much did you say the glove was again?” Boy: ‟$750.” Man: ‟Fine.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, ‟Grab your glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball!” The boy says, ‟I can’t. I sold them.” The father asks, ‟How much did you sell them for?” The son says, ‟$1,000.” The father says, ‟It’s terrible to over-charge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”

They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, ‟Dark in here.” The priest says, ‟Do not start that shit again.”

DANNY PHANTOM: A GLITCH IN TIME SOLD OUT ON AMAZON WHOOOO!!!!

WE DID IT!!! This makes me feel so happy and optimistic about the future of DP- A cartoon that only a few years ago, I felt certain would never have a continuation after so many years (and a GOOD continuation at that)

I loved this cartoon DEARLY growing up and based on the hype and reaction from others, I see others feel like same way- It feels incredible to see people getting excited again, talking about characters and speculations on where the story could go next.

Thank you Gabriela Epstein, for reviving a story and characters that have only lived on in our minds for YEARS and sticking the landing and doing it justice!! With the graphic novel doing so well, I'm praying more volumes will be picked up soon!!!

wish i had a bit going where whenever i said "the prophecy" like three of my friends would repeat "the prophecy" in different tones while squinting into the distance and rubbing their chins like sages deep in thought. i would also do this for them, im a team player

okay, so, be me, 27 years old at the time, an adult by any definition in the world

be me at the los angeles zoo, one of my very favorite places in the world, because i love animals. i am immedietly 8 years old when presented with a little creature. i can’t help it. 

okay, wait, go back. we must establish two things for this to hit right

first: 

the year before, i’d gone to the san diego zoo with my aunt and grandma and! they let you feed giraffes there!! 

how wonderful a world and how wonderful a life, where for $10 I can hand feed a giant creature three crispy biscuits. i go “i am feeding the giraffes right now” and go in line to buy the biscuits and return moments later triumphant, 3 biscuits in my grasp

“oh good!” my grandmother says, “one for each of us!” 

“yes,” i say, despondent, “one for each of us.” 

i wanted to feed all three to the giraffes myself but since i am an actual adult and not a child i do not say this and share the biscuits 

second: 

my friend group echoes. a lot

someone tells a story and ends it with “and that’s what happened!” and the rest of us will repeat “and that’s what happened!” 

often in unison. and it’s constant, all the time, even to little stuff. often said in the tone of “they don’t even have dental” 

ok, so we’re back at the los angeles zoo. they have opened the giraffe feeding 

i am not going to be thwarted again 

my two friends (K and M) get in line to feed them and i go to buy the biscuits. i return with nine biscuits because i am going to give the giraffes three biscuits myself and i do not want to hear a word of protest. i am being fair. i am being equitable. i am sharing. no one can judge me 

“wow!” says K. “that’s a lot of biscuits!” 

“the cult provides,” i say generously, handing over their share, because what is a friend group if not a small cult 

and then, automatically, in unison, like they have so many times before and thinking nothing of what exactly they’re saying, M and K reply, “the cult provides” 

two different people in line turn to stare at us while we all blink at each other and then M nervously shouts, “we are definitely not in a cult!” which sounds like something someone who is in a cult might say 

and ever since it’s been a running bit where one person says “the cult ____” and everyone echoes it as seriously as possible, no matter where we are or who we’re around

which is to say, OP, that you could be living the dream if your friends weren’t cowards 

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Need a temporary de-aged Bruce situation where Dick has to take care of him, and Bruce doesn't remember how he knows Dick, but he feels very attached to Dick and trusts him. Meanwhile, Dick is weirded out because Bruce keeps looking to him for clarity or advice, and Dick basically ends up regurgitating the same things that adult Bruce told him when he was growing up. So then when Bruce returns back to his normal age, Dick can argue with him about who taught who what.

Dick: Remember, turn it to the left a little bit before it squeaks.

Bruce: ...I know. I'm the one who taught you that.

Dick: But then you forgot all about it and I taught it back to you.

Bruce: I would have remembered when I turned back to my actual age.

Dick: Maybe the only reason you remember it now is because you relearned it from me.

Bruce: That doesn't make any sense. You never taught me how to drive, but I still remember how to.

Dick: We don't know that. You haven't driven since you returned to normal.

Bruce: I can drive, Dick.

Dick: Sure you can, kiddo.

Bruce: ...

Dick: ...

Dick: ...Sorry. Just slipped out.

Bruce: Hn.

The idea of Valerie finding out shit about Phantom and/or Cujo through Danny Fentons tiktoks is hilarious to me.

( @hannahmanderr @underforeversgrace see I don’t lie, he is the ghost king in shared cujostody au :) it took a while but it’s real :))

I also like to imagine that all the ghosts know not to fuck around when Danny is recording a tiktok.

The best of The Mayhem Guy from the Allstate commercials

okay, but where is, “I’M THE SMARTEST RACCOON I KNOW”

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better

Okay good i didn’t want to reblog this without the racoon one

the raccoon one tho

Favorite commercial thing.

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These were what I lived to see as a kid. I loved these commercials

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HES STILL AROUND, like two days ago I saw a new one where he was a glitch in a smart house’s system keeping the garage door from opening and he was LITERALLY GLITCHING, it was so clever XD

I’m sorry, my fave is still the navigation one.