Elias, an avatar of the Watcher, choosing how he wants to kill people:

dni if you have no whimsy and no joy for the miracles found within the mundane

pros of putting laundry away immediately after it is dry

cons

i really wish five hours of sleep was sufficient because going to bed at 2 and waking up at 7 would be heaven but the body keeps score

I hope every 19 year old is ok eventually I'm so fucking serious. If you're 19 stay safe out there it'll be ok love you

we as a fandom are wayyyy too normal about the fact that elias canonically watches ghost hunt uk. that's like if william afton randomly dropped the bomb that he's a buzzfeed unsolved fan.

the common usage of the phrase "halo of light" in descriptive writing always catches my attention because the word 'halo' literally means 'ring of light', so specifying that quality of it suggests that there are other things which a halo can be made of

wait of course. how could i possibly forget.

halo of knives

i want to be a vampire so bad. it would open up a whole new world of procrastination. puts off finishing a novel for 100 years. i don’t do the dishes for 20. oh wait i don’t have dishes because i suck blood. another fucking win

sorry i said it was hot when you were bleeding out :/ you literally didnt die why are you mad at me

"literally no one on the earth is as abnormal about the magnus archives as me" - everyone who listened to the magnus archives

Hmmm i disagree with you but i could not possibly wade through the cranberry bog of my mind to verbalize why

god forbid 5000 year old girls do anything

sometimes you dont eat fruit for awhile and then you eat some fruit and you're like oh fuck its fruit

I wish a very happy

Friday to all who celebrate <3

im like a faggy little waiter telling a group of 40yo white women “you should be bad” when they’re deciding if they wanna get dessert or not except its jonathan sims head archivist of the magnus institute london and im encouraging him to slurp trauma out of peoples brains through a silly straw and haunt their nightmares. go wild babygirlie its 5 oclock somewhere.

do you think a dude ever had sex with another guy

it might be difficult to figure out. consult the scriptures

these scriptures just have pictures of dudes kissing and groping each other

Penetration, my liege?

not now my dearest advisor i need to read these scriptures

Elias: welcome to your job at the real spooky story place

Jon: ok

*is given real spooky story*

Jon: bullshit

Muriel Fahrion, the creator of Strawberry Shortcake and Care Bears, was under a work for hire contract when she created them and as a result has received no residuals over the last 40+ years. If you like either of those properties, consider purchasing something from her website. She has art and cute jewelry!