Death.

Friends (s02e16)

ilana

it is getting harder for me to want to continue existing

i can’t do it anymore. i just want to give up on everything. i have nothing left to give.

take her to an abandoned building and fuck her

We’re All Going to the World’s Fair (Jane Schoenbrun, 2021)

every single time something good happens i’m always on edge, cuz it never stays good for long..

i thought my suicidal late teens were the hardest years of my life but nothing could’ve prepared me for my 20s waking up everyday with no purpose, feeling so lost, unable to keep up with friendships, watching everyone move on with relationships and careers and being unable to catch up. and I’m such a “life is not a race” type of person but damn I’m losing so hard rn

Gulps ..

getting better but also becoming worse. u wouldn't get it

tired of healing from the things i didn't deserve

realizing that I just don't connect with most people and that's ok.

Being overstimulated is such a weird thing to explain to people. Like "hey sorry, I'm not mad at you and this is nobody's fault and I'm not blaming anyone for it happening, I am aware this is a part of regular everyday life but I am mentally crumbling because There Have Been Things Happening nonstop for 5 hours straight back to back with no breaks, and I really need to sit down in complete silence for like 15-25 minutes, after which I will be completely fine and can proceed as normal. But if I'm not allowed to have that, I will resort to violence."