Ineffable Husbands really is that ship that has it all. They’re married. They’re divorced. They’ve never been together at all. They’ve been pining for 6000 years. They’re gay except they’re also not at all. They’re technically enemies to lovers but they’ve never been enemies nor lovers. Name any fanfic trope, they’ve probably been there, done that and they were entirely oblivious about it. Incredible ship.
One of my favorite things about the 1941 date was how unnecessary it all was. The stakes were completely made up. Oh, Mrs. H is ticked at Crowley and her magician can't perform? That's not a real problem. Aziraphale and Crowley are just making up excuses to keep hanging out. They're just showing off for each other and hyping each other up. And it's so cute.
Can you imagine, once they really sort through their issues and understand how deeply they love and are loved back... with the adrenalin of saving the world together and the high of knowing without a doubt that their love is reciprocated.... just how ridiculously they'll be showing off for each other? Like the fate of humanity is in their hands and everything's on fire but also their husband is watching and cheering them on.
These ineffable idiots are going to be so emboldened by love and I can't wait to see what dramatic stupid things they do to impress each other.
Aziraphale's a bibliophile. He's used to talking in metaphor. Unfortunately his boyfriend needs to be hit over the head with a mallet so they never get anywhere.
key to a successful marriage: always support your partner's dreams even if they are rubbish
we are not talking about how date-like 1941 was. Before this night they've spent about 80 years not talking to each other because of the Holy Water Breakup, and we start the night with Crowley saving Aziraphale from discorporation, despite having to LITERALLY hurt himself by walking on consecrated ground. And then he saved Aziraphale's books!! Mr. Saving-Aziraphale-makes-me-so-happy saved Aziraphale's damsel-in-distress ass.
They drive through a burning, bombed city together and Aziraphale saves Crowley by agreeing to do a magic trick. They go back to Aziraphale's bookshop, arguably Crowley's favourite place ever, and roleplay-flirt as an American GI and a famous magician. And they go to a magic shop and flirt some more. Crowley helps pay for Aziraphale's magic trick because he supports his angel that much.
They proceed to head to the West End performing a magic trick that's just one big sex allegory, and Crowley's so worried he's going to shoot Aziraphale into discorporation his hands are SHAKING, and Aziraphale is putting SO MUCH trust into Crowley it hurts to watch.
The show ends. They flirt some more in the back room and this random demon walks in and tries to arrest them for their gay-ass relationship (sound familiar?). Crowley acts nonchalant but we know he's a nervous wreck (which we can analyze later) and Aziraphale says his own name in what is possibly the sexiest voice we've ever heard. He then saves Crowley by performing magic the human way, sleight-of-hand, making it the only time we EVER see it work.
Then they go home, drink Aziraphale's best wine over a candlelit dinner, successfully running away from their respective forces and their punishments, and exchange a romantic-ass conversation thst reinforces "our" side.
I am Not Well.
I don’t know where we are in the grand scheme of things, but I just wanna be hugging you tonight. 💔
(A painting I made inspired by Romantic Encounter by Mihaly von Zichy)
(Use the Cardd link in my bio to buy and pick up a Print)
ineffable husbands and ineffable bureaucracy perfectly sum up the two types of queer romantic relationships: painful mutual pining for 6,000 years and speedrunning from enemies to friends to lovers in the span of 0.5 seconds
“Oh, Crowley, nothing lasts forever.”
“No. No, I don’t suppose it does.”
Is
“I feel like your exactly and my exactly are different exactlys.”
You realize when Aziraphale and Crowley do get together they’re going to be insufferable right?
Like there might be a short “adjustment” period where they realize they’re actually free to be whatever they want together where they’re a bit nervous about being in love openly but once that’s over? Insufferable
They are worse than newlyweds, they are worse than high school sweethearts. This is 6000 years worth of pent up love finally being able to run free. This is them making up for every word, every touch, every kiss they wanted but had to resist. And it is nauseating
They are their most nauseating in private but that does NOT make you safe in public. Aziraphale is a pretty big fan of PDA, but it’s very… Pride and Prejudice PDA. Linked arms. Hand kisses. Mild things, CROWLEY is the one with the vulgar PDA
Now, it’s not a COMMON thing, but Mr. Anthony “can sense when a man is within 10 feet of Aziraphale” J Crowley is NOT shy when it comes to making sure anyone with eyes near Aziraphale knows he is very, very, not available
So Y’know. Your heart may hurt but you at least have that inevitability to look forward to
i need a whole episode, a book and a podcast on EXACTLY what crowley was thinking during this moment
