when you try something new and it's good

Some polling station worker got to deliver the dunk of a lifetime today.

"Sorry sir but you could be any drunk in a joke-shop wig for all I know, and I've heard less offensively cartoonish Boris Johnson impressions."

"But I was prime minister just two years ago!"

"Gonna need you to be more specific."

big oof

Halo cloud over Moscow, October 12th, 2009

heyy can we do a sexy roleplay where im a prince from a fallen kingdom and youre the powerful warrior who has taken me for their own pleasure. yes? yipeeee ok so before we start first here's a google doc with the whole history of the fictional land we're both from and the intricate geopolitical workings of the- oh yeah and here's a supplementary doc on the agriculture and trade routes of said fictional land and stuff and yes this is important. the dirty talk has to be lore accurate

love the phrase "fucking with u" . like my guy i am just yanking your chain. god thats another good one. bro im just jerking you off. im literally just fapping uor boner right now

Finally drew certified (mentally) old man

It's my holy mission to give characters cozy sweaters

I put the "i" in dick but together we put the "us" in pussy

I put the “i” in

dick but together we put

the “us” in pussy

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

for some reason the actual graph is much funnier to me

animated artfight attack for @frogwhomp ^_^ (audio from sailor moon)

EHAT THE HELLLLLLL OH MY GOODNESSS

Oh I’m so sleepy… won’t you use !tuck to tuck me into bed?

!cursedoak

did anyone else have terrible dreams about a gnarled, twisted forest with one tree more terrible and hateful than all the rest

the idea of tumblr being dead is so funny to me because it’s the only social media where i actually feel like other people are online at the same time

when i scroll through most other social media i feel like im just seeing ghosts.. posts from the past week instead of the past minute. i can actually watch people log on and off here and it feels like it matters

This is literally my favorite tweet of all time. It’s so powerful.

She Freaken Forgor Me

it sucks being an American because people from other countries will make fun of you for liking burger and you will try to be like NO! I EAT OTHER FOOD TOO! but you can't get the words out because you're too busy salivating over the idea of burger

Honestly there's nothing a child can do in public that's as much of a disturbance as an adult yelling at them

love seeing revisionism in the wild “free the nipple never meant you can walk around topless every where that’s still sexual harassment it just meant for like breastfeeding and stuff”no it literally means you should be able to walk around topless anywhere because get this. breasts aren’t fucking sexual organs.

I remember when I was about 12, I watched a show on TLC that followed people as they got somewhat uncommon medical procedures.

There was one episode with a trans woman getting different gender-affirming operations, including breast implants. It showed the procedure, and (what I found so fascinating that it's stuck with me for decades), as soon as the doctor put the implant in, a censor blur popped up on the nipple.

And you just know there was a meeting between the TLC lawyers and the editors and producers of the show to discuss what the difference was between a "man nipple" (can be shown) and a "woman nipple" (no no must obscure, 'tis naughty). And they decided that as soon as the implant goes in and the nipple has more mass behind it, that's the moment when it becomes a woman's nipple and must be hidden to comply with TV rules.

But it's the same nipple. On the same person. I know what it looks like; I just saw it. But TV and obscenity rules are rules, and the rules say woman nipple = sexual and therefore explicit, but man nipple = neutral, just fine.

"Free the Nipple" was calling out arbitrary bullshit like that, because someone just existing with their body parts should not be considered obscene, and the double standard that men can be topless but women can't is so blatantly ridiculous. All nipples are just nipples. If you get turned on or bothered by them, that's on you.