eleven + constant state of wtf

I’ve seen people speculate about this in fics and meta, so…

It isn’t every day that the U.S. military feels obliged to respond to a crazy fan theory, but when it happens, you can be sure it’s probably about Captain America.

When a fan took to Reddit with a theory about Captain America’s active-duty status in the U.S. military, he calculated that it would be just over $3 million that he would be owed for the 66 years he spent frozen in the ice before he was thawed out to join The Avengers.

The Army actually quibbled a bit with his math, saying that not only would Steve Rogers be a candidate for back pay, but that if he were to be awarded it, he would likely get significantly more than the poster had counted.

“If Capt. Steve Rogers (aka Captain America) were not a fictional character and the circumstances surrounding his disappearance and recovery actually real, he may actually be entitled to receive back pay,” Army spokesman Wayne Hall told The Tribunist. “However, a wide variety of variables would have to be taken into consideration to actually calculate the true amount of back pay to which he would be entitled to receive.”

Hall indicated that any promotions that might have been bestowed upon Rogers would also have to be taken into account.

[X]

*gets a vendors table at anime expo* *sells deodorant*

Gifs from various video game versions of Silent Hill.  The movie is an adaptation of Konami’s survival horror video game series Silent Hill. 

The original was, by far and away, the most terrifying game I ever played as a kid

You can kill people in style with these things! (Source)

Taste the rainbow motherfuckers

Eichenwalde looks pretty cool.

*warner bros. is adapting full metal alchemist and the cast is entirely japanese*

me @wb: 

Y’ALL

THE CAST (x)

tbh this is such a weird choice for sensitive casting tho considering ed and al are their universes equivalent of german

Lapis Lazuli cosplay  Photo Editor / Cosplayer 

stories from school

The Jellybear Incident of 6th Grade

It’s the sixth grade. Somehow, I had come across a catalogue for the store they bought all the school store crap from. You know, the smelly erasers and dumb keychains that they sell for like a buck apiece. So I somehow got this catalogue, and little old entrepreneur me was like “I should buy something from this and sell it at school for an absurdly high price to gain basically pure profit.” As sixth graders do. So I bought two huge tubs full of these keychains called Jellybears. This is what they look like.

So I bought a metric fuckton of these assholes for about 20 cents a piece. I start selling them at school for a buck fifty. Like I said, pure profit. 6th grade me was brilliant. I broke even in like eight seconds of me whippin these bad boys out at school. Saying these are were a hit is an understatement. They were like a home run triple, or some other sports metaphor. People are buying this shit at lunch time, between classes. Shit, one girl even admitted to selling the ones she bought off me around her neighborhood for like five bucks. I was happy to be the middleman, but I digress. The point is, not only did I gain entrepreneurial skills, I also made a pretty penny. However, a month into my brilliant business, I get a call down to the office.

I had never been called to the office before. I was such a goody two-shoes you wouldn’t believe. This was in a school that boasted like two fights per week. The ratio of cops and administrators to students was like 1:3. And there were 1700 people at this school. That’s a whole lot of authority figures for a whole lot of miscreants and ne’er-do-wells. And here I was, reading large pretentious books and wearing polo shirts, with a gigantic backpack and in an advanced math class. I was, and still am, a lame weeny. Just wanted to put that in perspective.

Anyway, I was called down to the office that day. Literally shaking in the huge chair they had for me, facing down the terrifying vice-principal, she pulled out a Jellybear.

It was the DIVA one, if I’m not mistaken. I was then given a good lecture about how I’m not allowed to sell things on campus without explicit permission, yadda yadda, the whole spiel. Except I felt there was something fishy about the whole thing. Maybe it was how she held the Jellybear in her hand, perhaps it was the way she confiscated the rest of them. 

After asking around with the intense gossip network of middle school, I discovered the real reason the administration confiscated the Jellybears.

They had reason to suspect I was filling them with vodka.

They had reason to suspect that I, the tiny, stupid haired, braces-clad sixth grader who played a tuba bigger than she was was the head of a sophisticated alcohol distributing cartel in which I punctured and drained the goop from cute keychains, refilled them with straight vodka with a syringe, sealed them off with no trace, and sold them around school.

I’m not sure if I’m flattered that they assumed me capable of that sort of espionage, or insulted that they thought me dumb enough to sell middle schoolers straight vodka for A BUCK FIFTY. 

really who did they think i was i was in advanced math for petes sake.

This was a wild ride from start to finish.

Fun History Fact: The overwhelming majority of cowboys in the U.S. were Indigenous, Black, and/or Mexican persons. The omnipresent white cowboy is a Hollywood studio concoction meant to uphold the mythology of white masculinity.

Thank you.

I will always re-blog this

I think it was high school when i overheard some white girl put on her best semi-disgusted and confused voice and go “why do so many Mexicans dress up like cowboys?” and I had to be the person to tell her.

Why do you think the whites say buckero? Cause they couldn’t say vaquero.

I dunno if I reblogged this before but fuck it, y'all gon learn today.

Teach the children.

also, cowboy culture was hella gay. like, write-poems-about-your-cowboy-partner gay.

IF people acknowledge it, they play the necessity card– there weren’t any women out on the range, so they had to “resort to men.” this claim completely erases 1) the romantic (not just sexual) writings of actual cowboys, 2) the acknowledgement of cowboys’ potential homosexual activity by writers at the time, and 3) the possibility that some men would deliberately become cowboys with the intent to seek out homosexual encounters.

no one wants to admit it, but cowboy culture was just. so inherently gay.

#brb making cowboy aus for all my otps

same

This picture was drawn by Alexander Zienko. I love the concept!

DRAWN?

Holy shit I thought that was real!

The above is the sword awarded to Ulysses S. Grant in 1864. I think this is so beautifully crafted. (Source)

do you ever like… hear somebody make a joke about how sad they are and everyone else is laughing but you’re sitting there like: i gotta help this guy. holy shit are you okay bud. nice joke but for real i’m here when you need me we can talk about anything no judgement

Freshmen starting high school this year will be learning about 9/11 as a historical event that took place before they were born

ideal body weight: u on top of me

some nerd: why do you play lucio

me texting someone

me: hey its me, an inconvenience,