Noah

It's been 4 very long years and I still think about you all the time. I have dreams about you. I cry about you. Ya know, I've never trusted myself with anyone after I ended things, never been with anyone since, got close a once or twice but I still can't forgive myself for the way I acted towards you in my youth. I feel so endlessly guilty, I was terrible to you and you were everything I wanted, I was young and jealous AND STUPID AND I COULDNT HANDLE MY EMOTIONS AND I TOOK IT OUT ON THE ONE PERSON THAT MATTERED. I'm sure you're so much different now. I know I am, I've learned and changed so much year after year, GOD if we could have met now...I know how to love and communicate and I finally understand what sharing a life and having a relationship with someone means. That's fuckin irrelevant now, of course I can't change how selfish I was, I wish you never saw that version of me. I just wanted you to know I'm sorry, I'm so very sorry. I hope, I FUCKING HOPE you have forgotten about me, I hope I dont keep you up, I hope you cant see my face, I hope you never feel the pain of thinking about me. I beg the universe that you're happy, that's what you deserve, happiness.