Stuff Mike Clicked

happy condescending online man day

*September 1st on Tumblr*

You can only reblog this once a year

When your kid says at the last minute there's an upcycling contest at the kindergarten and she wants to enter with a cardboard rat

you make a goddamn cardboard rat

Girldick this, boydick that, I’m hunting MOBY Dick

Everybody lied to me when I got engaged. Being married is fuckin great.

There is a whole other person in my house and they love me

Tumblr Blaze is very good because tumblr correctly deduced that if they ran a real advertising service using targeted demographics we’d have burnt this site to the ground, but ALSO correctly deduced that we would be overjoyed to collectively pay large amounts of money to spread shitposts onto completely random dashes in a delighted flurry of slightly malicious mischief. You really do gotta hand it to em on this one, A+ problem solving.

Incredible content brought to MY DASH with OTHER PEOPLE’S money? Yeah, I’ll support that

Really digging it

Largest Member of Robert’s Quartet

Hickson Group

Bouncy

What a terraformed Venus with realistic climates would look like 

by MrCactus04

crying because I’ll never get to live on terraformed venus with realistic climates

the sexual tension between two gas stations on the same intersection

I’m so sick of this shit. Two gastations can’t even be on the same block without some walnut shipping them, while I can’t find a single fic for dennys/applebees with dennys bottoming.

you’re literally out of your mind if you think Dennys isnt a top

I wish the 2012 apocalypse actually happened

This is such a perfect post to welcome all the supposed newcomers to Tumblr. 

watched Return of the King with my coworkers last week and when it showed this shot

I just said "Weezer." And ppl got mad at me

Imagine being a reverse Superman where you're really weak and struggle to keep up with your peers for your whole life until you learn that you're actually just from a race of aliens with comparatively shit body strength. This is the premise of Tarzan

started playing thunderstorm sounds from YouTube at night. it is frustratingly effective

pros: falling asleep quicker

cons: having nightmares of storms

thank you for your recommendation! with brief consideration, it has been disregarded.

Galaxy Group

African elephant calves vs Asian elephant calves 

Very Accurate

dropped my rabbit and their head broke off :(

chocolate rabbit. chocolate. rabbit. edible chocolate easter rabbit. chocolate. not real. not furry rabbit. chocolate. the chocolate head of the chocolate bunny broke off. all chocolate. no living creature

*places an orange just outside a fairy ring to see what comes out* science is more of an art than a science

*the orange grows legs and skitters away*

Fascinating results *places a banana in the same spot*

*clawed hand reaches out of the ether and drags it into the ring, leaving ragged claw marks in the soil as it disappears, back into the ether from whence it came*

“let’s go to the extreme.” *places a pineapple in the same spot*

Real scientists would keep putting an orange in the same spot to make sure the results are consistent before moving on to other fruits or different spots.

The only valid response to this post.

This is exactly how I would expect a mushroom to sound