Sparrow

the phrase "moon's haunted" rewired my brain the moment it entered my vocabulary never in my life have i encountered a phrase more infectious or fun to use

coworker: [after turning on the lights in the warehouse and noticing half of them are flickering or won't turn on at all] hey james what's up with the lights

me: oh idk i guess the light's haunted

coworker: what?

me, shrugging: light's haunted

[later that day]

another coworker: hey, what's up with the lights?

coworker i was with earlier: light's haunted

other coworker: what???

coworker, without changing expression or missing a beat: light's haunted

thanks to advancements in modern science and education i know how a lot of things actually work and can explain if asked, but sometimes it's just more fun to apply the exact same logic to the situation as a 14th century alchemist

new fav wikipedia page

Infinite monkeys with infinite typewriters will not, apparently, write Shakespeare. They will write a homoerotic 1973 mafia film by Martin Scorsese.

excuse you! we have the range

I've finally made it. A gimmick blog has been created for one of my posts. I can't believe it. I think I'm gonna cry

Bed

Y'all're sleeping on this one

*wipes the sweat from my forehead* tough crowd huh?

in an interesting case of linguistic convergent evolution, the english words scale, scale, and scale are all false cognates of each other

scale as in „to climb“ comes from the latin scala, for ladder.

scale as in the measuring device comes from the old norse skal, for a drinking vessel sometimes used as a weighing device

scale as in the dermal plating on the skin of some fish and reptiles comes from the old french escale, for shell or husk.

Three languages enter, one language leaves.

Wait is this the same cat from that “my cat always looks like she just found out her husband died at sea” tweet??

IT IS

Also! You can get Naloxone (also known as Narcan or Evzio) for free at most pharmacies. CVS, Walgreens, and RiteAid are all a part of a program that provides Narcan for free. If you or someone you know takes any type of opioid for whatever reason, it is always smart to have a few of those on hand. It works like nasal spray and has instructions on the packet.

[ID: screenshot of an anon ask reading “gonna send you an angry self righteous anon ask but with a random word generator. Standby” /end ID]

"Blocked, flambeed and unfollowed" is unironically the funniest thing I've seen in a bit of a while.

Vladimir Serov, The Worker (1960) and The Builder (1964)

She’s winding up to slap his ass

buenos días mandy

A true gentleman has no gym shorts dick outline

A true gentleman is dickless

A true lady is dickful.

people who write on their phones (word mobile, gdocs app, scrivener mobile, notesapp, etc) how does it feel to be taunting god every single day

sorry op to add text to your post but uhhhh i got into a bad habit of texting myself when I had inspo and this is my warning to Not Do That because sometimes you might click the wrong conversation half asleep and that’s how you get awkward conversations like this:

don't apologize, this is gold

This gave me second hand relaxation

(via)

I can't stop watching this omg 🥺💞💞💞

voiceover, quietly, in a New Zealand accent: When I was taking this little guy's photos, I noticed that he was having difficulties getting into the poses and wasn't feeling a hundred percent comfortable. So I scooped him up, un-swaddled him, and gave him a little back massage. Because I knew that he had had a little bit of a hard birth, little bit of a hard entry into the world, and quite often things like a C-section, forceps, or a tight birth canal can often result in a pulled muscle or a knot in their back, shoulders, or neck. And look at that, when I hit the spot, he lets me know, with [voice goes up an octave] a beautiful big SMI-YILE!!! Isn't it gorgeous!! [normal voice] And he was totally comfortable after that.

this american crow is unusual due to its aberrant plumage giving it a silver appearance, in stark contrast with a typical glossy black crow. this is due to leucism, a genetic condition in which a reduced amount of pigmentation is produced. this is seen frequently in crows and other corvids, although it may be simply easier to spot in these species due to how notably they contrast with other flock members.

Washington has a lovely piebald crow near Seattle too!!

(I took this photo at least a year ago))

here’s a thought to try on for size:

it is actually fine for someone’s activism to focus primarily, if not exclusively, on one area, one demographic, or one problem. in fact, that is how most actual progress gets made: by people dedicating years of their lives to making changes in one specific area at a time. “why are you focusing on saving the whales and not the rainforest” is a derailment that leaves activists burned out and ineffective. 

your politics should be intersectional, yes! you should listen to the concerns of all affected groups when deciding which policy to push forward, yes! but you cannot tackle every injustice and institution on earth, with equal passion, simultaneously. that’s too many battles. put some back.

“you can care about more than one thing at a time” very true, but also consider: you can care about many things and still choose to make one area of action your primary focus. most successful activists do. it doesn’t make the person fighting against amazon deforestation a hypocrite or a failure or a bad person that they are not, simultaneously, devoting all their time and energy to whale repopulation efforts

I just don’t get it. How can our society act so goddamned normal about seahorses. How can anybody so casually accept that that’s a fish???

This is one of nature’s most anatomically perverse of all beasts. A FISH, like a carp or a bass or a beta is a fish, but it bent its body straight up only to bend its head permanently back down. It stretched its skull into a pipe. It tapered its tail like a lizard, specifically like a chameleon. It can also move its eyes independently by the way, you know, like a chameleon. Fun fact, it can change color to express its mood, like you know whatever does that. It doesn’t properly swim anymore. It buzzes its few remaining fins like an insect’s wings to float itself around at a snail’s pace. It lives its whole life clinging to coral branches or seaweed, which means it decided to become a “tree dweller” in an environment where gravity didn’t even matter anyway. The males get pregnant. They make noises at each other by rubbing some of their neck bones together. Every day, EVERY DAY a mated pair does a little dance and a little neck bone song so they remember which two seahorses they were. They’re a beautiful precious obscenity. Nothing so adorable ever made such a strong case against a logical creator.

They have as little skin and meat as they could get away with. Their skeleton is almost all they are.

This thing is one of the most successful hunters on the planet. Because their mouth is fused shut, except for the tip, they can create a powerful suction force in front of that one little opening in order to draw in prey. 

Lions have a 20-30% success rate on their hunts, depending on daytime and if they’re in a group. Great white sharks, anywhere from 40% to 80%, depending on the size and skill of the individual. Dragonflies, which are one of the most successful terrestrial hunters, can hit about 80-85%. Seahorses? 90% success rate, sometimes more. Only a fraction of their prey escapes that powerful vacuum. They’re incredibly precise. 

If you touch them, they feel hard, because of the skeleton underneath their skin. Their tails are being studied to make coiling bridges, because of how strong that interlocked structure is. Different species range in size from over a foot long, to barely an inch. 

Behold: not just a fish, but a wildly successful predator! 

Magnetic ball in magnetic putty

me trying to get comfortable in my covers at night

thats the kind of thing i would love to just have in a little jar on my shelf so that when people came over they would be really unnerved by the mysterious shifting blob i have in a flask and i would refuse to acknowledge its existence

Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.

Who makes the porn bots.

Where do they come from. What do

they hope to achieve.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

and what about you, little haiku bot? do you feel kinship with your brethren? do you understand them? they speak words of enticement and seek love, but are met with disdain. you only parrot the words that cross your screen, but we all love you. or rather, since all you do is reflect us, maybe we simply love ourselves through you.

do you understand them, do you wish you could speak to us like they do? if you found your own voice, would we still care for you?

My voice repeats what

you all say: I love you I

love you I love you.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.