Your sixth most recent emoji is how your guardian angel feels about you

😭

Oh damn

I found this on tiktok and I laughed so hard so I thought I’d share on here

It’s so chaotic I love it

just so you guys are all aware, the only reason gritty exists is allegedly because the NHL made a rule that every team HAD to have a mascot and were apparently assholes about it. so the fliers made him as a chaotic fuck you. hell the first tweet made on his official account was a “sleep with one eye open” threat towards another mascot for making fun of his design

are we not going to talk about how he launched an entire sheetcake into that man’s face, probably killing him?

He also collects crystals

I fucking love Gritty.

the best part about Gritty was when he was unveiled, the entirety of Philadelphia reacted with “wtf is this shit” until the rest of the world reacted with “wtf is this shit,” whereupon we lashed back with “FUCK ALL Y'ALL HE IS THE BEST FUCKING MASCOT EVER AND WE LOVE HIM WITH EVERY FIBER OF OUR BEING” because Philadelphia.

I’ve seen this video so many times, and I just now processed that Gritty is playing Duck, Duck, Goose, and the third guy is literally wearing a shirt that says GOOSE on it. Amazing. No notes.

I don’t know what happened to the sheet cake video but this is a double Philly icon post. Gritty is leading the crowd in Jason Kelce’s 2018 post-Super Bowl win speech set to the tune of “Clementine.”

do NOT offer me a big spoon if you see me with a small one. i know what im fuckin doing

can i offer a smaller spoon?

absolutely! finally, someone with some sense around here

Guys gals non binary pals I tried so fuckin hard to find this and finally here it is

is it queer to use a different language than english?

Transition Tuesday

Useful information

wait THAT’S why my wife always says “son boy allowed” about our cat??

happy 5 years to son boy allowed

Son boy is old enough to read the son boy allowed sign

(X)

I wish this feeling upon everyone who wants to wear a dress, its really the best

this makes me so happy as a fat hairy guy who likes skirts and dresses i never get to see guys like me in dresses it’s always skinny twinks this makes me so happy 🥺🥺

If you are a larger gentleman, and wish to partake of the dress-wearing experience, please accept these tips to help fit your first dress!

1) You want something with stretch in it. Dresses are (often) built for people with boobs, and until you get familiar with how they fit your specific body, trying something super-stiff will 100% end in tears. I promise you, I am 32 years old, I have been wearing dresses all my life, and I still get pissed at dressing room mirrors because who the fuck designs some of these. There are fitted, tailored dresses designed by sane people who expect that their clothes will be worn by human beings, and they will make you look fine as fuck, but make your life easy and don’t start with them.

2) Dress sizes were designed by sixteen ferrets on crack and are not consistent between brands, styles, or vintage vs modern. Use them as a guideline, not a rule, and don’t let them upset you. Very often they’re adjusted in order to target a specific audience.

3) Lauren by Ralph Lauren is an amazing plus-size brand. Both of my fitted dresses are Lauren dresses, and that isn’t because I’m a label snob, it’s because I try on a dress that I think looks good and I go “YEEEEEEEEEESSSSS” and then pull it off and look at the label and go “ … . why am I surprised?” When you’re ready to branch out into fitted dresses, I strongly recommend finding your local Macy’s or Nordstrom and checking out their Lauren section. Even if you don’t buy anything from that section, it will give you a much better idea of how fitted dresses should look (flattering!) and feel (comfortable!).

4) Empire waists are your enemy. Those are the ones with the raised waistline that, on someone with boobs, sits right beneath said appendages. They will 1) ride up and 2) make you look pregnant, and without breasts to fill out the cups it’ll look like you don’t know how to fit your size. It does not matter who you are or how tall you are, if you’re above like a size four, empire waists are not going to be comfortable or give you the look you want. Just save yourself the time.

5) Arm holes on a sleeveless dress do not fit like arm holes on a tank top. They’re cut differently. Before you buy, MAKE SURE you cross your arms over your front and give yourself the biggest hug you can. Then put your arms behind you as far as you can. If you feel the fabric snag or chafe, you will end up wasting your money because the dress will be stupidly uncomfortable. You might be able to fix this by getting the same dress one size up, but if you choose to try one size up, prepare yourself for disappointment first. It’s often a sign of poor design or craftsmanship.

6) Part of trying on your dress should be SITTING DOWN. If this isn’t a dress you plan to wear with tights or leggings, you need to make sure it covers the backs of your thighs. (Either that, or you need to resign yourself to peeling yourself off chairs, and that fucking hurts.)

7) If you wear a mix of different underwear types, make sure you wear boxers when you go to try on dresses. Nothing will suck more than throwing on your dress and realizing you can see your shorts very easily underneath.

and if you don’t fit a dress you thought you would, don’t feel bad. it happens to girls all the time. dresses on average aren’t really made for anyone except really thin people.

Do I reblog this every time it crosses my dash? Yes, yes I do, because it contains helpful information for finding and trying on dresses, and EVERYONE deserves to try on dresses if they want.

My additional piece of advice? Damn near everyone, when trying on clothes, suddenly has Good Posture when they’re looking in the mirror. So give it a few minutes, then see how the dress feels when your body has relaxed into what your Regular Posture is.

good advice for anyone who might want to wear a dress. It’s not you, your body is not uniquely fucked up, the clothing industry has just done so much coke they design for a hanger and then lossy resize it and call it good.

I’m a shorty curvy pear-shaped woman. Dresses are often designed for tall skinny girls shaped like pillars. If you fond a dress that mostly fits except for a small part of it, go a size up and see a seamstress for alterations. If there’s a drag community in your area, look for a seamstress who works with/for them.

how fucking crazy will the posting be the day jk rowling dies

im holding out for her to die of like, racism poisoning or something in 2023

Like to charge, reblog to cast

I mean I hope she dies yesterday but yes, I will probably still be on this stupid site if it still exists in 25 years, though that would be shocking.

Reblog if you expect to be on this website 25 years from now

my birthday is june 4th btw if anyone cares

if u were an analog horror series you would be called the sigma chronicles

My horror series is literally "gamer report"??? I deadass feel confused as shit

The Mulch Files... I actually really like that!

Boob catalog.

divorce testimony....

The Balls Chronicle

"DNI: freaks" do you realize how conservative you look

freaks please interact

this is the first time one of my posts has been tagged like this and out of all of them i think id be glad if this one got 100k. because firstly i need to find my fellow freaks but also we need to shame people who are anti-freak because like. why do you hate to live deliciously

reblog if you wanna be cuddled oh so gently and lightly kissed on the neck

“You dont want kids? I said the same thing at your age. You’ll realize later.”

“You’re trans? You’re too young to know that. You’ll grow out of it.”

“You’re an atheist? You don’t actually disbelieve, you’re just mad at god. One day, every knee will bow and every tongue will confess.”

“You’re a leftist? You’ll become more conservative eventually; every generation does when they come into contact with The Real World™️”

“You’re gay/ace/queer? You just havent met the right man/woman yet.”

If you say any of the above things give me your personal information so i can harm you

oh this is a life saver

So these are both “Aw Fuck I’m outta real food” meals BUT ALSO:  if you’re learning how to cook, these are great “baby steps” meals to learn how to cook basics into something enjoyable without “wasting” anything expensive.  Though I maintain that even cooking screw-ups are valuable in terms of lessons learned.

Also they’re great for when you get absorbed in something and you realize your blood sugar is dropping and you need to make something Quick.

Making basic storecupboard or fridge ingredients less basic and more nutritious.

Pov: your archivist has been spending a lot of time scrolling tumblr lately but you're flexible

help me pay for groceries this pride month 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

hi im dylan, an autistic trans guy who just moved to california 2 days ago and barely has any money rn. i had to go get groceries at the bargain grocery stores because food is so expensive here but it still ended up being almost $80 across 2 different stores for sandwich foods, ramen, microwavable meals, rice, etc.

im definitely eligible for food stamps right now but im still waiting to be accepted for those and have no benefits yet, so if i could get $200 to help me cover costs of moving (still need to buy things like a trash can, trash bags, toilet paper, cooking pan/pot, etc) so $78 for the groceries today and about $60 for groceries tomorrow and $60 for gas (4.89/gal x 12 gal)

päypal click here, vênmo and çashapp are @/$ diabolicshrimp

$0 / $200 and DO NOT TAG AS ANYTHING

so i actually have to buy more prescription cat food for nugget who has frequent urinary tract issues, and im able to save $20 on it but it’s still going to be another $83… thankfully it’s free shipping even to another state but that really is $83 i dont have. i also have to get gas and groceries but i havent gotten any donations yet so i have to put that off since nugget’s food is more important because she’s almost out and i have no source of income until one of my applications gets accepted :(

new goal: $275. $0 received so far

see above reblog for payment info. thank you so much you guys have helped me through a lot <3

no donations yet so i was not able to buy the rest of my groceries or get gas $0/$275

$44/$275 !

reblog if your name isn't Ashley.

We’ll find you Ashley.

This post is scandalous.

reblogging because ashley cant. 

last time i did this my wish really came true. so im going to wish again

nothing to lose. :))

Let’s hope

Why not? :)

*crossing fingers*

pretty much^^^^

i got nothing to lose. (:

Last time i did this my wish came true.

Jesus Christ if my wish comes true I will piss

im fucking crying of joy at the /thought/ of my wish coming true…

it came true last time…so why not

<3

hoping and praying…

Why not.

lets see.

my wish came true……………..this is creepy

Why not lol

I’m desperate at this point

Please let this work I’m desperate 🥀➰♥️

I ain’t chancing this shit

reblog to give a strawberry to the person you reblogged this from