"is there something you wanna get off your chest?" my tits

Talk about getting two birds stoned at once lol

[family guy voice] petah

Before COVID shut the library down, I was helping a little boy and his mom find books.

“What do you like to read about?” I asked. “Dinosaurs!” This is common request, but can mean different things, “Okay. Do you want a story about dinosaurs, or facts about dinosaurs?” “Facts.” I took him to the dinosaur section (567.9) of the juvenile nonfiction. He picked out a couple books, and I asked him if there was anything else he was looking for. “Do you have anything on DNA?” I had to think about that for a second. “I think so…but I’ll have to look it up.” The boy beamed, “I want to find out how DNA works, so I can bring them back!” “We just saw Jurassic Park,” his mom explained with a smile that did not waver when she added, “We didn’t learn anything.”

I feel like we don't talk enough about the fact that Kaz has canonically been to jail multiple times

He was only ever in jail as a child, which is obviously awful, but like... imagine getting arrested and ending up sharing a cell with the world's angriest ten year old

i don’t know anything about drawing comics, but here’s an attempt ft a scene that’s technically from my fic but also kinda works as just a theoretical s4 reunion scene out of context.

Women fear me, fish want me

Keying/graffiti-ing someones car is old news now if someone cheats we go at their wardrobe with a seam ripper

yknow what? Fuck you *unstitches all your shirts and jeans*

My mother did this to my father once. They got into an argument, my very pregnant and hormonal mother stormed off…except they lived in a tiny apartment so the only place to go was to shut herself into the closet for a good long sulk. And while she was sitting in there, fuming, she looked up and saw her sewing kit on the shelf, and all my father’s uniforms hanging right there.

So she picked one shirt and one pair of trousers, carefully, methodically ripped every third stitch out of every seam, and then hung them back up together so that he would be likely to pick them at the same time. This took her a couple hours, so by the time she was done, the anger had worn down. She came out, she and my father had a talk that ended in apologies, after which they were tired and went to bed. My mother swears up and down that she meant to warn my father about the sabotaged clothes in the morning, but he wore a different uniform set and they were both still feeling a little raw, so she didn’t want to bring up the fight again. She decided to tell him that night instead.

And then she forgot.

Anyway, about four days later, my father apparently came home roughly an hour after he left for work, his clothes slowly, gently shredding off his body, the most bewildered expression on his face. “Paula,” he said, his voice mildly shell-shocked. “Paula, my clothes are broken.”

My mother promptly burst out laughing so hard that she went into labor. And that’s the story of my birth, heralded by petty vengeance and utter confusion.

Babar and Celeste meet a friendly whale.  Le voyage de Babar. 1932. 

When will they make a horror movie that nuts up and puts glitter in the fake blood

tpp gave me gender

I’m honestly amazed by the fact that lesbians on tumblr got our shit together and (more or less) agreed on the new lesbian community flag, and now it’s becoming actually recognized off of just tumblr to the point where I’m starting to see it used in generic clipart when I’m putting together flyers at work. genuinely used to seriously doubt whether it would break the tumblr culture bubble, but it did and I think that’s so cool

[ID: various clipart involving the five-stripe Community Lesbian Flag, including women holding the flag, hands holding the flag, women wearing the flag as a cape, and a dress, hat, and coffee mug with the flag colors.]

if you don’t know, @sadlesbeandisaster made this flag and she is currently struggling financially. here is a link to her carrd, which has places where you can buy lesbian flag merch and donate to her k*-fi (please only use the k*-fi link if you want to donate, her p*ypal was terminated so she’s using a friend’s unnused account for it)

I’m out of the loop, can someone explain to me why the old lesbian flag was replaced?

Racist and hated butch women

himb 🌱🐸💕✨

Good afternoon today I am stealing jokes from leverage

-

[ID: A four-panel greyscale comic featuring Peter Nureyev, Rita (redacted), and Juno Steel from The Penumbra Podcast. All of the characters are drawn very simply in a cartoony style - Nureyev is tall and thin, with rectangular glasses and short, straight hair slicked back from his face; Rita is fat and very short, with large cat-eye glasses and afro-textured hair in four puffs at the back of her head, and Juno is somewhere in-between the other two in height, stockily-built with short afro-textured hair worn in an undercut and a scar over the bridge of his nose.

Panel 1: Nureyev is to the left of the panel, holding up a finger and saying "the most important thing is that we know we can trust each other," while the other two watch.

Panel 2: Rita looks apprehensive and asks "are you sayin' we have to do those trust fall things?" and Nureyev is frowning as he replies "Oh, no - not like that."

Panel 3: Rita looks relieved as she says "Oh good! 'Cause the last time I tried to do that I dropped the guy and he had to get stitches" and Nureyev looks back at her as if he regrets his life choices.

Panel 4: Juno, who has been out of frame for the last two panels, reappears frowning and with his arms folded. He says "yeah, Rita, I still have the goddamn scar," while Rita looks guiltily away and Nureyev looks at him in concern. End ID.]

happy valentines day!! 🥰 i had so much fun drawing this piece for the penumbra podcast valentines exchange over at @tppvalentinesexchange!! some early morning jupeter fluff, aka the last time nureyev was allowed to use the carte blanche kitchen 😏 💕

[image description: a colorful digital drawing of peter nureyev and juno steel leaning against a kitchen counter and kissing. nureyev has light skin and dark grey hair, is wearing a flowy patterned blouse and tight pants in shades of magenta, and is holding a spatula in one hand. juno has dark skin and curly black hair, is wearing a pale green shirt and purple pajama pants patterned with green stars and moons; he’s leaning into nureyev and holding his hand. behind them, a pan of food on the stove is clearly burning, sending a big cloud of smoke up behind them.]

Space Wives in Crime

My conservative family members seeing me taking up embroidery:

One week later when I post the finished project:

I had to reblog this as soon as I stopped laughing

My sister did this. Only her masterpiece that my parents HATE is

OH HEY! Happy Lunar New Year ! I’ll draw a cow tomorrow!!! just for you!!!