beimg a manager at star bucks:

customer; excuse me sir, your employee is vaping on my latte

me: who do you think gave him the vape

customer: (i do not know what the customer would say)

eberyone support me

AMAZING ANIMALS BIOLOGY FUN FACTS

It's only natural to ask questions like this when encountering such a disgusting creature, but rest assured- it's quite harmless!

Meet the hampter.

Hammers are Europe's largest species of insect. They are mostly found in plains, mountains, parking lots, underpasses, the savannah, landfills, trees, and shurbs. They are heavily endangered because they are too stupid to drink water if it's not in a water bottle manufactured for small animals. But evolution has produced a remarkable solution: a female hamper can lay thousands of eggs every day! Most of her young will die of dehydration, but the sheer numbers of hamspers makes it inevitable that at least some will find a water bottle and thus survive to sexual maturity.

Hapster biologist Dr. Lexapro Beaufort said in an interview, "I know of them. They like to sniff around in the dirt for seeds and grass and discarded cigarettes. They like to dig holes in the ground. They were not created by the same God that created everything else."

They can even be kept as pets! One proud hamser mommy had this to say. "Yeah, mine is named Keith and he fucking sucks. He just hides in a hole and only comes out when he hears me rattling my adderall prescription."

Wow! Truly the hater is the fascinating creature of planet earth.

this image just tickles me in a certain way like... not 'as hard as i can' but as soon.. he is too busy to laugh right now and he doesnt know when he will be available but he'll try to squeeze it in

it's called the Switch 2 because you Switch 2 a cheaper hobby

Me: this is some of what people call ‘that Zaza’

My imaginary British friend: I’m proper tallywacked off of this cannabinoid

Me: yessirrrr

can i go to your house on monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday and sunday

Lets orbit around mama

why is muriel from courage the cowardly dog with that ugly beast he don’t even got teeth she need to get with a real man like me

Toga….

You don't like New Yawk? 🗽? Bada Bing?

no 🛩️

anotha one🛩️

bada boom 😔

your brain gets head but your smart gets dumb

White boy shocks everyone at the restaurant by emitting a massive electromagnetic pulse

My girl straight up ascended and grew wings

a few weeks ago i needed worcestershire sauce for a recipe but i didnt have any so i had to leave it out.

u are never gonna believe what i found in the cabinet today, unopened, probably has been there for months,

😔yuuuuuuup. my house is fucked

candy before beer youre in the clear. beer before candy hurricane sandy

literally i dont give a fuck about prom unless registeel is going