Annnnd our parents and grandparents never taught us basic life skills because the baby boomer generation loved outsourcing easy work, like hemming pants and baking cakes. The generations before us glommed onto the fast, easy fix, and important skills have been lost in the process.

(And of course the generation who raised us loves to act fake shocked like “my grandkids don’t know how to boil water” like yeah, Janice, that’s because you took your kids out to eat 6 nights a week and baked Stouffers lasagna one night)

And now we are broke. And can’t afford to pay $60 to have every pair of pants we own hemmed (shoutout to shorties!). We are making yogurt because we can’t afford to pay $2.50 for one yogurt.

I’ve learned to knit to make myself wool hats and scarves. I’ve learned to sew so I can make items that would otherwise cost me 4x the cost to make it. I’ve learned to make yogurt because I would prefer to spend $2 for a gallon of milk and get 24 yogurts out of it rather than just one.

I’ve planted fruit trees in my yard so I can reduce the carbon footprint of the fruit I eat, and because produce is expensive.

I raise egg-laying chickens so I don’t contribute to factory farming.

My husband hunts deer so that we can eat lean, virtually fat free meat, and also not contribute to factory farming. The deer live happy lives and are not allowed to suffer. (Hey PS also, hunting up here plays an important role in ecology, as otherwise the deer population would explode, and deer would starve in the winter. Thanks for coming to my TEDta…)

My generation is going on YouTube to learn to change tires, bake bread and do their taxes because y’all sure as shit didn’t teach us.

THIS

Lets not forget the phasing out of the HomeEc class.  Or the Shop Class.

Alleviating one’s ignorance of a subject should NEVER, EVER be looked down on! Learning and growing are never anything to be shamed of, or for!

reblogging for the additions.  

really if you take a moment to think about the headline it basically just says “millennials are so helpless they’re taking time to learn how to do things they don’t know how to do”

oh no…how awful…

Damn kids and their *spins roulette wheel* commitment to continued education in practical skills…

I often wonder what happened to authors of unfinished fanfictions.

I hope they’re having a nice life

we absolutely are not and that unfinished fic haunts us to this day

Disney Character Oil Paintings - Created by Heather Theurer

Fic tag: slow burn

Me, cracking my knuckles: not if you read it fast enough

he was on TATOOINE you fucking loser

Obi-Wan can find an invisible planet hidden by a devious Sith Lord, Anakin can’t find his ex-best friend on his own home planet while the guy is still using his own damn name.

I know we give Obi-wan a lot of shit for leaving Luke with his real surname but Anakin really is that stupid

the perfect hiding place: the sandiest fucking planet that anakin would never set foot on again

I’d like to remind everyone again that it’s literally canon that Vader can’t step foot on Tatooine because the desert gets into his creaky old man robot joints and makes his suit break down

aka the sand is coarse, rough, irritating, and gets everywhere

i  d o n t  l i k e  s a n d

okay but what if everyone was like ‘vader, kenobi’s on tattooine. he’s obviously on tattooine. he’s been there for years. he’s just right fucking there, we all know it.’ and vader is just desperately shaking down jedi like they’re magic eight-balls and he wants a better fortune. like ‘no i don’t like that try again’. 

kenobi’s just sitting there in his pile of sand like a smug fucking bastard. he doesn’t need to hide jack shit. he went to the tattooine board of tourism and got them to print up flyers that say ‘COME TO TATTOOINE, WE HAVE SAND’ and luke is probably going to be safe until his midlife fucking crisis at this rate.

palpatine finds vader aimlessly checking behind pieces of furniture in some shitty space motel on kamino

‘he’s on tattooine,’ palpatine says. 

‘nuh uh,’ vader says, and peers under a couch.

“You can’t prove that!” he says

@kunoichi-ume

I can see him posing on his sand like this going “this is definitely keep him away.”

The problem with betraying your closest friends Anakin, is thay they know your every weakness and if you fuck up hard enough (like murdering younglings) they will not hesitate to take advantage of that knowledge. That’s how your son ends up on Tatooine.

rest in fucking pieces siobhan

Fanfiction appreciation post   1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Saying you child is your “kid” is an insult to goats everywhere.

I’ll insult moms everywhere. Fight me Pam.

Fuck you, Barbara 

You want to do this now, Helen?

Oh it is on Brenda

Eight o clock after the PTA meeting, Joan

Uhm, my kids will be going to bed at 8, Sandy, because unlike SOME mothers I put my children to bed at a responsible time!

Don’t you bring my kids into this, Janet

You’re right Sandy, we shouldn’t bring your C- average kids into this. We should, however, bring your 2013 Honda Odyssey that reeks of failure and cigarettes from your midnight affairs with the mail man.

At least I have a man touching me, unlike SOMEONE I know. When was the last time Frank so much as looked at you, Jackie?

C-Carol, you’ve gone t-t-too far!

NONE OF YOU ARE INVITED TO THE CASSEROLE POTLUCK! That includes you, Cynthia…

God this is magical

Okay but Harley is so fucking considerate, tho? She knows Canary and Arrow are having a baby and that the baby will either be an archer or a screamer and she presents gifts accordingly.

She’s that crazy auntie that’s wild, but also the realest.

Favorite story posts part 1

part 2

The head of this porcelain doll was discovered at the wreck of the Titanic. It initially gave the divers quite a fright. 

i can’t believe i’ve been on this blue hellscape for so long that im called upon as a scholar of ancient tumblr memes but yet……here we are……

[cracks knuckle] so the chocolate bird meme.

the chocolate bird meme actually started in 2011, technically. a gif of a cockatoo in a chocolate foundation began circulating…

 ….and for some reason struck people as “relatable content.” i remember seeing it as early as april 2011. that post ended up getting hundreds of thousands of notes (which was a HUGE deal at the time since the site’s user base was much smaller. think the equivalent of getting like 1.5 million notes now.) 

then, shockingly, someone decided to write an essay about why the gif wasn’t funny at all, but rather problematic and abusive. i believe this was written in december 2011/january 2012.  

what this person and a shit ton of others DIDN’T know (because no one fucking googles anything) is that it was a CGI bird. the entire scene was fake. it was from fucking JACK AND JILL, aka the movie widely regarded as the WORST ADAM SANDLER MOVIE OF ALL TIME–let me say that again bc it’s saying a lot: the worst ADAM SANDLER movie OF ALL TIME. 

by janurary/february 2012, the gif had started a site-wide debate about whether or not it was a depiction of animal abuse. people were literally unfollowing other people based on whether they supported/condemned the gif. no matter what opinion you voiced, you were pretty much guaranteed to get flack or anon hate, tbh.

one person defending the gif replied to the OP of the post that condemned it, and the OP’s response is what really launched The Meme.

the OP’s reply, beginning with “listen here cum-slut….” became a copy pasta. at first, people would just paste the entire unedited rant into any situation where injury or insult was perceived. then people started adding it as a caption to unrelated or tangentially related posts (anything to do with birds or people eating chocolate were frequent targets)

the one i remember the most vividly was the version that someone attached to a gif of augustus gloop in the chocolate river from the 2005 charlie and the cholate factory where any mention of birds was replaced with “fat kid” (2011/2012 tumblr was v problematic and The Discourse had not yet taken root) 

eventually the entire rant just got shortened to “listen here cum-slut” because the meme was so pervasive that pretty much everyone who had a tumblr at the time had memorized the rest of the post or some variant of it. just quoting the opening line implied the rest of the copy pasta (very similar to “what the fuck did you just fucking say about me you little bitch?”)

so that’s how a cgi gif of a bird in a chocolate fountain caused a website-wide war. the lesson here is that tumblr has and always will be a garbage site. started at the bottom and yeah no we’re still at the bottom nothing has changed get used 2 it kids. or leave and save yourselves. it’s obviously 2 late 4 me

A cunning vampire door-to-door salesperson who stands in people’s doorways and talks until they can find a convenient moment to drop their pen and the person picks it up and the vampire says oh “Thank you” and the person says “you’re welcome” and the vampire smiles a big fangy grin and steps inside

And that’s this vampire’s modus operandi for decades And then the language starts to change and suddenly millenials have homes and the vampire thanks them and they say “oh, no problem” and the vampire is like ???????????????? this was not the plan

When you love a man with depression...

1) Don’t tell him there’s a better world out there. Show him. Take him on a random trail and help him smell fresh air again. 2) Discuss happy childhood memories and make him smile again. 3) Pick him flowers and remind him there’s beauty out there. 4) Kiss his cheek more than you kiss his lips. 5) Keep PDA to a minimum in public. 6) Do not take sexual mishaps personally. It is NEVER about you as a couple. 7) Do not push him past his comfort zone. Please. 8) He doesn’t want to go out tonight because he needs to recharge from too much stimulation. It is not because he doesn’t want to see you. Please don’t make it about yourself. 9) When he is disassociating, lay with him in silence. Breathe along with him deeply. Let him find himself again, do not continue to talk and overstimulate. 10) Do not put his happiness before yours. That will NOT make him happy. It will not make you happy. You will resent him and he will feel guilty. It’s okay if you need space too.

Remember that he loves you. His feelings of sadness have nothing to do with you as his lover. When you feel you are the cause of his pain, remember you have no control of his atoms, of his genetic predispositions. And most importantly, find happiness in the little things together. If you love him, all of it is worth it. All of it.

holy fuck this is extremely important and I’m pretty sure this goes for anyone loving some with manic depression or anxiety. patience and understanding so fucking important! 

Fallout: You are a Vault Dweller sent on a mission to save your Vault from absolute extinction and later save the world from super mutants.

Fallout 2: You are the grandchild of the Vault Dweller, he Chosen One, off to save his people from drought and later a Pre-War secret society

Fallout 3: You are the Lone Wanderer, going to save your father and finish his great works to save the Capital Wasteland

Fallout: New Vegas: You are an immortal mailman who runs around the Mojave Desert causing chaos in Vegas and beating up Romans Soldiers wearing animal heads with your bare knuckles with robots, ghoul gunslingers and robot dogs

Headcanon that of fucking course Mcgonagall was invited to Ron and Hermione’s wedding and that during the reception Ron approached her at her table and held out his hand and asked her to dance, “you know, for old times’ sake.”