Diavolo: *gazing up at the sky* my, what's this? Such beautiful, dazzling jewels falling from the heavens before my eyes?
The brothers: on fire, screaming, bleeding, throwing up, sister dying, Lucifer ripping off his wings, Satan rampaging, horribly traumatized for centuries to come.
Diavolo: they're all...so precious. I must have them all!
Bro explained religion 💀
I strongly believe most (if not all) ultra religious are basically "religious" and have NO business claiming to be part of the community or believing in the same force/deity.
leaky, thick cock virgins who wanna make you cum soooo bad but they just don't know how and and and you're just soooo pretty to them that they end up losing their mind, so excited to finally fuck you, so they hammer into you like a rabbit- no technique, no finesse, no skill whatsoever, but their dick is just so big that it hits everything it needs to anyways and has you seeing stars
Mc: It's funny that Luke still believes that when I die I'll go to paradise... Poor thing... It's as clear as day that I will go to hell.
Solomon: Well... It makes sense after your relationship with god's problem children.
Mc: Ha, as if I wasn't already doomed before the exchange program. I have a one-way ticket to hell since I started thinking.
Solomon: *starts to laught*
Mc: Bold of you if you think I'm going to go to a place where it is forbidden to do anything on Sundays.
Solomon: *wiping away tears of laughter* Ay, and bold of you if you think I'm going to let you die.
Mc: ... What?
Solomon: What?
.
.
Okay so I did some research, very basic research, on the user base of tumblr and how many of us there are.
There are at least 300 million unique visitors worldwide on this site. Over 500 million blogs.
Listen. Tumblr is $30 million in debt. This is Super easy for us to solve.
If each user gifts one blog crabs, which costs slightly over $3, that would be roughly $600 million at least. Far more than enough to get Tumblr out of the red zone.
If we want tumblr to stay afloat and not change something as integral about their operating system, we need to show them they can be profitable without reducing themselves to common social media sites. What we have here is special. It is different. We are the social media site people run to when theirs collapses and for good reason.
If we want this to work, we have to make it work. We can even make it into a game. Just how long can we outlast the other social media sites?
NEW TUMBLR UPDATE:
You can only like 4 posts a day and if you even think of reblogging we're going to blow your brains out
aaaaa omg a coworker just came to my desk like "oh, you changed your name? me too, look!--" and pointed out her badge and then her ringless hand and gleefully announced, "divorce!!" and we exchanged congratulations and fist bumped djdnsnjs best interaction of my entire transition
Mammon: Oi MC, here you go! A glass of human world gin cause Demonus doens't work for ya!
MC: ...um
Solomon: I'll be taking that, thanks. It's best if MC doesn't drink.
Mammon: Heh?! Who're you to call the shots?!
Asmo: Oh come on Solomon, MC deserves to have fun too!
Satan: Indeed, all of us get some kind of crazy when we're drunk, it's normal.
MC: I'll be fine Solomon, I promise.
Solomon: ... alright then, handle the consequences at your own risk.
*after a few drinks*
MC: So I was just looking around the room and I thought...
MC: I'm the only mortal amongst a whole room full of angels, demons and immortal.
MC: In the next 40-50 years or so, I'll be long dead and you all will still be here, laughing, dancing, drinking for a longgg time. *Hic*
MC: It made me kind of sad...but then your laughing faces made me feel better.
MC: I hope I become a butterfly...or a star...or a cat! Or I can atleast watch you guys...from somewhere...*hic*
MC: I miss you guys already..hehe...I love y'all so muchhhh...please stay happy like this always...*passes out on the sofa*
Lucifer: *stunned* Is this why you-
Solomon: *chugging his drink* Yes that's exactly why.
Mammon, Levi, Asmo: *sobbing* MC!!! Nooo!!!
Satan, Simeon: *stares at MC with sad contemplation*
Beel: *tearing up with his mouth full* I don't want to imagine that...
Belphie: *crying silently into Beel's shirt* How can we laugh without MC here...?
Diavolo: *shaky voice* Barbatos.
Barbatos: Yes, young master.
Diavolo: Can MC not be made into an immortal like Solomon too?
Barbatos: I believe we can definitely find a way if we try.
Diavolo: Let's go ahead and start the research tomorrow.
Thinking about Mammon....Mammon who struggles not to tear up and exclaims to himself internally on being so emotional for no reason when you tell him, quite randomly how much you love him and appreciate all the little way in which he takes care of you (even though he denies it).
Mammon who realizes that this feeling, this warm gooey melting feeling he gets with you, is exciting, nerve wrecking, soft and most of all terrifying. How could he- no, how could someone love like this? So pure and overwhelming?
Mammon feels like he's drowning in sea but weirdly, he doesn't wanna go to shore. Its terrifying, yes but he can't help but let it pull him into its depths.
Beel: Mc did you eat my pudding?
Mc: no
Beel: (suspicious) and what are you eating?
Mc: my own pudding which should be obvious because it's pink and tastes like strawberies
Beel: can I have some?
Mc: considering you wanted to call me a liar no
Beel: betrayel D:
MC: BARBATOS IT'S TIME!
Barbatos: Time for what exactly?
MC: For you to do a silly little dance.
Barbatos: And why would I do that?
MC: Because I have a rat I can release in the castle!
Barbatos: I see it is indeed time for me to do a silly little dance.