funniest thing about the “reddit migration” is that I haven’t seen a single post shitting on anyone coming from Reddit. when twitter started bleeding users everyone was firing rent-lowering posts but with redditors skittering about we’ve left the doors open and put out food bowls

Tags were too good to ignore.

One of my least favorite mental illness things is "hungry but dont feel like eating" and its companions "hungry but all the food in the house is Illegal," "hungry but can't make anything," and "hungry, want to eat, but why bother"

Also the adhd friend “hungry but unaware of hunger because current activity is too captivating”

"Hungry but I'll get to it later"

“Definite not hungry, nope, but upon forcing oneself to eat something, discovering that the food vanished in 30 seconds and the pervasive feelings of ickiness all vanished, what the fuck"

Hungry but only for one specific food. I do not know what that food is but i do know i don't have it in the house

Not hungry but will eat everything in cupboards

hungry but that was five minutes ago and I ignored it and now my stomach's not going to be hungry again for the next 24 hours

Hungry but did a food related activity/thought about food and now forgot that I didn't actually eat

Might I add:

-Hungry but all the food in the house 8s the wrong texture

-Not hungry but you know you should eat something because it's been x number of hours since your last meal...but alas all the food in the house is STILL the wrong texture (or for that matter temperature)

I s2g I've had weeks where I just lived off chips because it was better than nothing

jelly bean takeoff

HEAVY George Costanza vibes in this post

sometimes I randomly think about the time a girl posted in this girls only Facebook group I’m in telling everyone how she broke up with her boyfriend and he lied saying that he lost the spare key she gave him, only to then break into her apartment when she wasn’t home and steal the cat they’d adopted while they were together, but then he denied having done this and she didn’t really have proof that he took the cat since he wouldn’t let her come into his place and look for it. And then another girl saw this post and knew her ex-boyfriend, and she was like “girl. I used to hook up with your mans back in xxxx and I still have his number. If you want, I’ll hit him up and get him to invite me back to his place and see if your cat’s there.” And the OP was like “bet.”

So this woman hit up homie dog, asked him out for drinks, went home with him, slept with him, and then woke up in the middle of the night and TOOK THE CAT. Like she had only said that she would confirm if the cat was there but then she took it upon herself to steal this woman’s cat back. Like she full on Trojan horsed this man and then hit up homegirl like “I got the goods. Where you wanna meet.” And then the two of them posted a photo of them together with the cat to the group.

And I just think women supporting women is so beautiful.

PROTECT FEEDEES WITH WEIGHT LIMITS PROTECT FEEDEES WHO ARE CONCERNED WITH THEIR HEALTH

PROTECT FEEDEES WITH ALLERGIES, INTOLERANCE, AND HEALTH ISSUES. 

PROTECT QUEER FEEDEES. 

PROTECT FEEDEES WHO WANT TO ENJOY THE FETISH WITHOUT HARASSMENT 

PROTECT THOSE WHO HAVE THE FETISH BUT DO NOT FEEL SAFE IN THE COMMUNITY

PROTECT PEOPLE WHO MIGHT HAVE BEEN INTERESTED IN THE FETISH BUT HAVE BEEN HARASSED SO MUCH THAT THEY ARE TRIGGERED BY THE FETISH. 

PROTECT FEEDERS FROM BEING PRESSURED INTO BEING FEEDEES

PROTECT FEEDEES WHO WANT THEIR OTHER INTERESTS RESPECTED.

(;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`) ok

Spirk. 🥹🥹🥹

"How the hell did you get so fat?"

I don't say it out loud, but you can see the thought plainly on my face. It's been two years since we last saw each other and here you are, waddling into a cafe, about 300lbs bigger than you were when we graduated.

My split-second of shock changes to a big smile, and I stand up from the patio table and run toward you. "Oh my gosh it's so good to see you!"

We hug, and my arms can't reach all the way around your body. You smile but you're breathing heavily, out of breath from the short walk from your car. I offer my arm for support, and steady you while you take swaying steps.

"Is this a good spot?" I ask, motioning with my head in the direction of the table. "Maybe another chair?"

You nod. "Yeah, another chair would be great." I grab a nearby chair and put it next to yours, and hold your hands while you slowly lower your expansive rear onto the pair. You're a little surprised that I know what someone your size needs - usually it's a thing you have to awkwardly set up for yourself. I sip on my coffee while you lean back and catch your breath.

Back in college, you were already the fat friend of our little clique. But you were normal fat - sure you needed to buy plus size clothes, but it never stopped you from dancing all night, or fitting in a single chair. Today - a week after I reached out because I saw your post that you were moving to the same city as me - you are definitely not normal fat. You are *how the hell did this happen to her in two years* fat.

The truth is, you did it to yourself. You've been gaining intentionally, pushing your calorie limit every day, moving as little as possible ever since graduation. Your weight surged and your fitness vanished entirely. Your own body, with its swelling sensitive curves and waning mobility, turned you on like nothing else could.

You're excited to have a friend in this new city, but you're embarrassed to show what you've done to yourself. You look at my face, searching for signs of concern or disgust. Instead, you catch my eyes glancing at your pillow-like arms, your enormous chest - am I checking you out? I meet your gaze and grin.

"What the hell it's been so long!" we both exclaim at the same time, and we laugh. "I can't wait to hear everything about how you've been," I say eagerly. "But first, can I grab you something to eat?"

You have a praise kink, you say? Now, baby, that seems like the obvious choice for someone as pretty and as eager as you. If anyone deserves praise this much, it's you - and it's about time we teach you to accept it, don't we? What better way to do that than to be explicitly gentle and affirming with the words I choose?

Catching your waist and pulling you in, calling you a pretty little thing, whenever you try to walk past me and I haven't seen your outfit of the day yet, your make-up, your styled hair. Softly chuckling when you try to push me off and hide your face in embarrassment.

Giving you simple every-day tasks and chores and telling you how well you did, what a good girl/boy you are, whispered against your lips or against your forehead after a gentle kiss.

Using every chance I get with other people around, to show you off - calling you an incredible catch, almost smarter than you are pretty, possibly flawless, certainly a sight for sore eyes.

Using every chance when we're alone, all by ourselves, sinking into our dynamic, to shower you in affection - calling you the most perfect pet, so reliable and obedient, so capable and well-trained, with a tongue that forms my title so beautifully and a mouth that knows how to tease. Calling you my prized lapdog, with my hands and fingers forming even sweeter praises, silent and wordless, while they trace your body's shape.

Building up your ego through all of those words, seemingly harmless at first, but after months of listening to them, your reaction won't be embarrassment, it won't be a dismissive "Shut up" - it will be a self-assured "I am" and an ever so slight smile on those soft lips of yours. Exactly how I like you.

I could function in a society that had an actual nightlife that isn't synonymous with just clubbing. Where are the night markets what if I want to go to the library at midnight

Source

unionize unionize unionize

women want me for my huge cock (silicone) and my huge tits (silicone) and my funny pointed wizard hat (silly cone)

What doesn’t kill me gives me kinks that are difficult to explain

as much as i love seeing orcas launching what appears to be intentional coordinated attacks on human ships it also makes me very sad because if it starts to become a genuine problem or even an extremely minor disruption to business people are going to just start killing them and i don't know that the orcas really understand the power differential they're dealing with here. that is why i am starting an organization whose mission will be to establish communication with the orca populace and provide them with equipment and training in order to level the playing field and empower them to take control of the seas, with the potential to open up trade and diplomatic relations on their own terms

Tony Hawk is probably the best evidence that people would never recognize Clark Kent as Superman in real life.

putting ketchup on fries is too permanent for me … i have to dip . i control the sauce