[Recordabot Casettecon Things]
(Can't come up with a caption rn, sorry)
literally a quote from Marcus Aurelius
HAD to go and dig for the quote. “sex is the friction of a piece of gut and, following a sort of convulsion, the expulsion of some mucus.” marcus was just being reductive, but purrp takes his analysis one step further: he correctly identifies that sex is stupid
how can civilisation be in decline when social media abounds with philosophers greater than Marcus Aurelius
my beloved irls are fucking mocking me for this
so I know I cooked
Community Label: Mature
penises are soft, excerpt from fucking trans women #0 by mira bellwether
[image description: two screenshots from collage-style zine pages.
the first page has a box of text next to a labeled diagram of a cross-section of a penis and scrotum. text reads as follows:
#3: Penises are soft. I can't say this enough because it is such an important and frequently ignored fact: most of the time a biological penis is neither rock-hard nor an inflexible rod. They're not supposed to be. The natural, resting state of the penis is soft. Unsolicited erections happen relatively infrequently after the teen years and voluntary boners appear in the dictionary under the entry "diminishing returns." most penises could never compete with a good dildo on hardness. And those that go the distance are putting themselves at long-term risk: erections that last longer than an hour or so without interruption can cause permanent damage to the vascular system of the penis. We know both statistically and anecdotally that penises are far from permanently-engorged crotch-rocks, and yet almost all sexual discourse on penises is on erect penises, hard penises, penetrating penises.
the second page is all text. the text reads as follows:
Why is this significant? Because the operating assumption in our culture is that only hard penises can have sex, that soft penises can't have sex and aren't sexy. This is deeply, deeply incorrect.
The major difference between a soft penis and a hard penis isn't whether it can have sex, not whether it can give and receive pleasure, only whether it is hard and can penetrate. That's it. That's the difference. Hardness. And yet there is almost no writing about sex and soft penises except about how to "fix" them by making them hard. It's hard, so to speak, for us to seriously consider the concept of sex with a soft penis because we've been indoctrinated to laugh at the idea. Penises are supposed to be hard, penetrating organs, and definitely not sexy when soft. It's not very fashionable to talk about phallocentrism these days, but I can't think of a better word for the assumption that someone's private parts are useless because they're not hard and, well, phallic.
To put it simply, this is stupid. It's stupid to keep acting like penises are worthless when they are soft, whether that softness lasts a day or six years. We are smarter than that, and it is time to start acting like it. We owe it to the penises in our communities to start playing with them and pleasuring them when they're soft. I think it's a particularly good idea to do this because soft penises are a lot of fun that we're not having, for no good reason.
Contrary to popular belief, a soft penis is not a "Do Not Disturb" sign. Neither is it an accurate indicator of someone's interest, mood, energy level, or libido. Boners are fickle. Sometimes it's not in the cards. Then again, sometimes a boner just happens and the only thing on your mind is how much you don't feel like having one. Your lover-with-a-penis could be counting the seconds until they can get you alone and do filthy, unspeakable things to you and their penis might not so much as twitch. If your lover is a trans woman, there's a rock-solid chance that this happens all the time. There's an equally good chance that it never happens at all. For some of us on testosterone blockers no force in the world could summon an erection. For others there's an impact, and for some there's almost no change whatsoever.
Regardless of how often you have one on your hands, a soft penis doesn't need to be anything other than an opportunity to find out what else it can do besides fill up with blood and poke things.
end image description.]
Community Label: Mature
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I just remembered my second Pride, where I made different flag themed daisy chain bracelets/necklaces to hand out. I need folks to understand something:
They were free.
They were fucking free.
They were maybe ¢60 of acrylic yarn each at the most, and the whole ziploc bag of them took 2 hours max.
Three people gave me sad eyes until I took their money.
Someone who was clearly the mom friend of their group made me take a $5 and gave a 10 minute pep talk.
At least four more people insisted on getting change to pay for the, once again, free bracelets.
In spite of all these shenanigans, the absolute best was this one person who I can only describe as, “queer surfer dude who looks like a boyfriend who looks like a girlfriend.” I can remember nothing of the outfit, only the impeccable vibes. I did the same thing I did with everyone else, explaining the bracelets were free, and they nodded along as they took the last 6 strand rainbow bracelet. As soon as they had it on their wrist, they pointed at something over my shoulder and, like a fool, I looked.
Next thing I know, they’re running off cackling, yelling, “YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME!” and I’m holding a fucking $20. I had to stop at least two people from chasing them, cause they thought the person stole something, and then they tried to give me money cause they thought it was funny seeing me flail over people being Too Nice.
That was the year I got reverse-robbed at Pride. I hope everyone out there is having a good time and, in particular, that queer surfer dude is out there still causing benevolent chaos.
After thinking about it for 15 minutes, I now know where the fuck my gremlin tendencies come from. I was always a little shit, and I always tried to be helpful, but this? This was when 19-year-old me realized that chaotic and good are not mutually exclusive.
The world has not known peace since.
Respect for the authors
No I just want to take a second to appreciate how this was Gabriel's actual fucking plan.
Optimus Prime is just like a lactose intolerant person. He knows that Megatron is bad for his health, but damn how can he resist that delicious kinder milk slice?
Damn right he can't
I mean I'd know... I wouldn't resist either
Here's THE masterpost of free and full adaptations, by which I mean that it's a post made by the master.
Anthony and Cleopatra: here's the BBC version
Coriolanus: Here's a college play, here's the 1984 telefilm, here's the 2014 one with tom hiddleston
Hamlet: The Kenneth Branagh 1996 Hamlet is here, the 1964 russian version is here and the 1964 american version is here. THe 1964 Broadway production is here, the 1948 Laurence Olivier one is here. And the 1980 version is here. Here are part 1 and 2 of the 1990 BBC adaptation. Have the 2018 Almeida version here.
Henry V: Laurence Olivier (who would have guessed) 1944 version. The 1989 Branagh version here. The BBC version is here.
King Lear: Laurence Olivier once again plays in here. And Gregory Kozintsev, who was I think in charge of the russian hamlet, has a king lear here. The 1975 BBC version is here. The Royal Shakespeare Compagny's 2008 version is here. The 1974 version with James Earl Jones is here.
Macbeth: here's the 1961 one with Sean Connery. Here's the 1971 by Roman Polanski, with spanish subtitles. Here's the 1948 www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljZrf_0_CcQ">here. The 1988 BBC onee with portugese subtitles and here the 2001 one). The 1969 radio one with Ian McKellen and Judi Dench is here and the 1966 BBC version is here. The Royal Shakespeare Compagny's 2008 version is here.
Measure for Measure: BBC version here.
The Merchant of Venice: here's a stage version, here's the 1980 movie, here the 1973 Lawrence Olivier movie, here's the 2004 movie.
The Merry Wives of Windsor: the Royal Shakespeare Compagny gives you this movie.
Much Ado About Nothing: Here is the kenneth branagh version and here the Tennant and Tate 2011 version. Here's the 1984 version.
Othello: A Massachussets Performance here, the 2001 movie her is the Orson Wells movie with portuguese subtitles theree, and a fifteen minutes long lego adaptation here. THen if you want more good ole reliable you've got the BBC version here and there.
Richard II: here is the BBC version
Richard III: here's the 1955 one with Laurence Olivier, and here's the 1995 one with Ian McKellen. (the 1995 one is in english subtitled in spanish. the 1955 one has no subtitles and might have ads since it's on youtube)
Romeo and Juliet: here's the 1988 BBC version.
The Taming of the Shrew: the 1988 BBC version here, the 1929 version here, some Ontario stuff here and here is the 1967 one with Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor.
Timon of Athens: here is the 1981 movie with Jonathan Pryce,
Troilus and Cressida can be found here
Titus Andronicus: the 1999 movie with Anthony Hopkins here
Twelfth night: here for the BBC, herefor the 1970 version with Alec Guinness, Joan Plowright and Ralph Richardson.
The Winter's Tale: the BBC version is here
Please do contribute if you find more. This is far from exhaustive.
(also look up the original post from time to time for more plays)
Okay, I'm collating everything from the comments because I love this so much!
From vivienlacroix:
Much Ado about Nothing: Here is the Free Shakespeare in the Park version with Danielle Brooks as Beatrice (From 2019)
Hamlet: Here is the 1921 silent film in which Hamlet is a woman (don’t get your hopes up though it’s extremely sexist and heteronormative)
A Midsummer Night‘s Dream: here is the 2019 National Theatre version (With Gwendoline Christie)
From partywithponies:
From ryfkah
"Двенадцатая ночь" (Twelfth Night), a Russian film from 1955 (with subtitles)
Twelfth Night (1986), a filmed version of an Australian stage production with baby Geoffrey Rush as Andrew Aguecheek
From chekovsphaser:
This drive has 4 Globe productions Midsummer 2013 and Tempest 2013 (Both above), and then As You Like It 2009, and Love's Labour's Lost 2010
From maa-pix:
Twelfth Night: the 1998 version, "Live From Lincoln Center" on PBS, directed by Nicholas Hytner, with Helen Hunt, Paul Rudd, and Kyra Sedgwick. Part One, Intermission interview with Nicholas Hytner, and Part Two. Also here. (Absolutely fantastic version, best I've ever seen.)
From everybody-dies-at-least-once:
Andrew Scott's Hamlet: Almeida (2018)
King Lear at Shakespeare Festival NYC (1974) w/ James Earl Jones, Paul Sorvino, and a young (very sexy) Raul Julia here
Then I made a Google Drive for the ones that I have that I haven't seen elsewhere on the list:
They are also all Globe productions: MacBeth 2020, Romeo and Juliet 2009, Romeo and Juliet 2019, The Merry Wives of Windsor 2019, and The Winter's Tale 2018.
And then finally MIT has this super cool repository of performances from around the world and some of them have videos https://globalshakespeares.mit.edu/
In my (unsuccessful) quest to find The Hollow Crown, I also found a few other of the histories, so here's Richard II with Sean Connery, Richard II with Ian McKellan, and a stage play of Richard III
Also, if anyone has a version of the lockdown Romeo and Juliet mentioned above or the Olivier or McKellan Richard IIIs, the current links are broken and the productions sound very cool!
I might kiss you my friend for that work. I awoke from my slumber to find that the post had become popular again and there was way too much notes attached to it for me to read them all.
much to Yahoo's chagrin, Firefox is actually the new pdf
this is a big deal since adobe recently locked editing PDFs behind a paywall :’)
“if no art makes you feel anything, make your own art and feel something” is too raw of a line to have come from a jenna marbles video of her painting a rainbow/polka dot seahorse saying “it’s seahorse time” on a denim jacket
Why do you people feel profound thought has to come from high places? The gutter looks at the stars too
not only did you prove your point, but you showed an example of it in the same sentence
does anyone know if i can like block sites from appearing in my google images searches??? i keep getting those awful ai generated things with a hand coming out of a man's neck and just straight up not what i was looking for, because this was in a search for "curly hair in medieval paintings". it happens every time i search for anything vaguely art-reference-like and it's so fucking annoying and it clutters my search results so much. i don't wanna add specific commands to the query every time too, what i need is like a browser extension or something
okay i found one! it works! everyone come get your blacklist 👍👍👍
Taking edibles and locking myself in a sensory deprivation chamber to imagine the greatest AMV ever created
Starscream is probably the funniest Transformers character to keep turning out to be effectively immortal. Megatron at least has a cult kind of thing going on and his body being reused as a powerful weapon of war by other villains also tracks. And divine intervention via the Matrix and also the narrative (toy sales) deeming him the Main Character won't fucking let Optimus Prime die and stay dead. Starscream apparently just exists to be a pathetic thorn in everyone's side.
Freak of nature. Cockroach motherfucker supreme. The universe's favorite unwitting clown who will never learn. Loathed by both Autobots and Decepticons for being So Fucking Annoying and neither side can kill him permanently. Tragic.