@ people who write fic of siblings: we don’t constantly call each other “big sis” or “little brother” stop doing that

list of things i have called my little brother:

list of things i have never in my life said to my little brother:

So I work at a video game store in a mall and across the hall from us is this really nice suit shop. One day one of the guys came in an asked if they could use our microwave (the store they used to go to closed down) and we bargined for use of their bathroom in return since the mall bathrooms are like a 5 min trek.

So for like three months now we just have these men in really nice suits come in and talk while using our microwave and teach them about nerdy shit? Then I, the goblin king in various shitty tee shirts and paint stained pants, walk into their super expensive store and just get greeted with “Yo dude what’s good?” and talk about the pains of steaming silken dress shirts properly and it’s my favorite business interaction every day

A new jewelry store opened up right next to our store and when I used the bathroom today we were talking about it. I hate it on principle (they flooded our systems closet during building) and immediately both Suit Guys™ working went on mini rants. “Their suits are baggy as hell, I wouldn’t trust them to sell me a $9,000 ring when they can’t get a fitted jacket. They look so unprofessional, ” and “I saw one of the dude’s wearing a teal shirt. It’s fall, and you go with teal? At least get a color to match your store if you’re gonna ignore the seasons like that, Christ, but teal is awful.”

I live for this commentary fam.

#flower shop/tattoo artist au is out #suit shop/nerd store au is in

small child: [absolutely incomprehensible gibberish]

me:

mulan dont give a shit

mulan has run out of fucks to give

Mulan no curr

Mulan: “Gurl had it coming.”

Mulan: ” One less bitch, to worry about “

Mulan: “Who’s next?”

Mulan: “Look at all that dishonor”

I’M LAUGHING TO HARD AT THIS OMG

MULAN NO CURR

Mulan: Are you fucking serious Snow

Mulan: I fought in a motherfucking war

Mulan: I saved motherfucking China

Mulan: And you get taken down by a motherfucking apple

DISHONOUR ON YOU! DISHONOUR ON YOUR COW!

If one day I no longer reblog this it’s because I’m no longer in this world.

Mood of the night

(let’s keep the kid bashing to a minimum, yeah he used the n-word but he’s also a minor and his parents are responsible for his upbringing and behavior so let’s focus on them.)

jesus

lol lets not be mean to the person who called people niggers because hes not 18 or whatever lol

little bitch got what he deserved

the glass is larger than her head

You’re damn right it is

i want to be the kind of person that makes people feel good about themselves and the kind of person who motivates people to be the best that they can be

HEY! You there, you reading this:

You wanna hate the rich? Like more than you undoubtedly deservedly already do?

Come here, I got something for you…

oh, its just a paper cup you’d say

nope, its china, this is $95 for a pair

not the most egregious thing to be fair…

so how bout this?

a $175  single golf tee

or maybe:

a $350 dollar miniature Chinese food box

not your taste?

howabout 10 legos for 15 hundred dollars?

or

perhaps a harmonica that renders the player utterly incapable of playing blues or folk music?

maybe not,

howbout a thousand dollar tin can?

not egregious enough?

try this $350 dollar gold crazy straw.

still not pissed?

then i’m sure you won’t blink at this:

9 THOUSAND DOLLAR PURE SILVER BALL OF FUCKING YARN

anyways this has been my presentation of why we should guillotine rich people, thank you.

Y’all haven’t seen unnecessary opulence til you’ve seen the gold plated gem studded monopoly game

#fucking christ #do you think they sell gillotines at Ikea - @ariaste

You’d think so, but they’ve asked me to stop putting that into their suggestion box.

TELL ME YOU’RE NOT SERIOUS JOY

I know, I thought it was rude of them too.

we keep talking about emo being gay culture but it’s also trans culture because everyone wore skinny jeans, dyed/straightened their hair and used makeup regardless of gender, therefore letting closeted/unaware trans people present themselves in an ambiguous style that wasn’t gendered and less likely to get them clocked for being transgender. also gerard way is nonbinary and identifies somewhat with women so it’s officially for the transes too *taps gavel on table* meeting adjourned

Here’s Loki smiling, hoping to make your day a bit brighter:

What up, I’m Jared, I’m 19, and I never fuckin learned how to

love

What I love about “The Naked Time” is the implication that, when Sulu gets a few drinks in him, he doesn’t just get a bit tired or horny or mean or nerdy like a normal person does; he just literally rips his shirt off and starts running around cackling maniacally and LARPing an old-time swashbuckler

sulu: i’ll go out but i won’t duel anyone this time

sulu after six drinks:

Tits out sword drawn. 

WHY DID A GROUP OF WHITE MEN WRITE LAWS FOR PEOPLE THAT WOULD BE BORN HUNDREDS OF YEARS LATER WHY ARENT WE ALOUD TO CHANGE AND REVISIT THE CONSITUTION AS TIME CHANGES SHIT THATS FROM 300 YEARS AGO DONT APPLY TO TODAY THE FUCK

You know, Thomas Jefferson said that Americans should revisit the Constitution every twenty years and re-write from scratch as needed to reflect the changing needs of society. 

The reason for this, he said, was that he feared that Americans would not view themselves as stakeholders in the foundation document of US law, and therefore become divorced from the idea of their own self-governance, and that politicians from the President down would become ‘like wolves’. 

*Looks around at America in 2017*

Yeah he fuckin called that shit. 

“if you’re so stressed out from school why don’t you just study more or take fewer classes??”