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why can't i be healthy

@starvingbutstillhasribs

I will never love myself | Non-binary | AFAB | They/them/theirs
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starvingbutstillhasribs
skinnydove-s-wings

So maybe May wasn’t your month. That’s okay! Progress is still progress. And hey, maybe you don’t have that perfect bikini body yet, but now you can work all summer and hit that autumn aesthetic by storm!

starvingbutstillhasribs
delicate-angell
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highlyycaffeinated
Let’s just get one thing straight…

If someone with an eating disorder, body image issues, body dysmorphia, etc. tells you that they feel a certain way about their body, do not get mad at them or bring out the whole “if you think you’re fat then what does that make me?” because it’s not about you okay? Our perception of ourselves is distorted; we do not see other people the same way we see ourselves

starvingbutstillhasribs
delicate-angell

Got me out here like “hmmm interesting color scheme here. I wonder what they did on the back….” like bitch ur not fooling anyone no one is that interested in the design on the box dumbass just read it and go

Mee 🙋😂

starvingbutstillhasribs
delicate-angell

some unexpectedly difficult ed moments

  • food stops being food and starts being “points,” calories, numbers. your friend is craving pancakes at 8 pm and she just eats it and you politely decline because you’ve reached your balance for the day.
  • you’re studying, and the kid next to you pulls out a sandwich and the smell is all you can think about, even after he finishes.
  • it’s impossible to get through a whole day without falling asleep.
  • you waste a lot of money. a lot. the $70 jeans you bought at the beginning of fall are too big around the butt and thighs but still cling to your waist fat and it feels like a big failure either way.
  • falling asleep with an empty stomach is hard. falling asleep with a full stomach is also hard. stay up until 3 am, on the verge of tears. at least you might wake up skinnier.
  • when you walk to class, or the store, or home, each step feels like more calories burned. it’s -10 degrees fahrenheit outside, but you skip the bus. burn more.
  • your friend begs you to eat until you cry, and even though he apologizes for threatening to stop spending time with you, you spend any moment after thinking about whether he was serious.
  • when was the last time you pooped?
  • finally ate something. relief. it didn’t even taste good though, so you wasted your calories you stupid, stupid cow stupid stupid STUPID
  • your babyface will never go away, even if you make it to 60 lbs. your ribs will pull at your skin and your legs will threaten to give out when you stand, but those round cheeks are there to stay.
  • the thermostat is at 74. if you turn it up anymore your roommates might notice, so you pile on the blankets, and wake up in a pool of sweat the next morning.
  • despite everything, you have never felt uglier and more repulsive.

This hurts…

Holy shit why is this so accurate