spock and mccoy in ‘the apple’ (cover of my ecology notebook)

My Star Trek friends, reblog with your favourite most ‘out of context’ Star Trek image

I’ll start:

here ya go

Oh my time has COME >:D

Excellent post everyone

Oh WOW this post got better!!

Star Trek: Enterprise “Home” & Star Trek: Lower Decks “Mugato, Gumato”

thinking about how klingon courting works by the female roaring and throwing heavy objects and the male reading love poetry

gay klingons:

lesbian klingons:

Do gay Klingons ever get frustrated/dejected because their gentleman caller hasn’t so much as kicked a pebble their way or uttered the slightest growl?

Do questioning Klingons ever show their crush their poetry, only to have their crush assume that he’s helping them proofread or something?

Is there ever an issue where a lesbian Klingon tries very awkwardly to recite poetry to her lady love? 

Or instances where two lesbians are basically beating the shit out of each other and both thinking “I know she thinks this is just a regular old gal fight, but no, seriously, I’m trying to declare my intentions here”?

Are there euphemisms for LGBT Klingons? “Don’t try to win her over, Riker. She reads poetry.” 

This one of the best things I’ve ever read

Bisexual Klingons:

REBLOGGING FOR BI KLINGON COURTSHIP POETRY CHUCKING

Elementary, Dear Data!

(click image for optimal quality!)

the cultural reputation Star Trek has is so completely wrong and whenever I bring up shit that is definitely canon, like going back in time to rescue whales, or marshmelons, or the genocidal snowflake, or the security officer sleeping in a bucket, or the lizard man who’s on space crack, or the space pope/president of capitalism, or the very serious mpreg, or fucking THRESHOLD, everybody is like “WHAT” like sorry you thought this was a serious drama where the captain gets the girl every episode, here’s a waiter starting a union after jacking his enormous ears so hard he got an infection.

Spock is a Jewish-coded fucking Vulcan who grew up on an alien world and was played by and basically created by a Jewish man and in 2019 you guys are still drawing him in Christmas sweaters and writing 18 billion Christmas fics about him

Reminder that in the Star Trek extended universe novels Amanda Grayson is made explicitly Jewish and thus Spock is not merely Jewish coded, he’s straight up, undeniably, legal under any movements definition, Jewish.

Okay but imagine tiny angry almost-thirteen-year-old Worf, who knows that throwing him a huge bar mitzvah would make his parents so, so happy, but is also really not sure about what that would mean about his relationship to his Klingon heritage, or how Jewish a Klingon adoptee can even be.

And there’s the sound of a transporter beam from outside. And a couple minutes later, Sergei knocks at his door, literally vibrating with excitement. “Worf. You have a visitor.”

“I am Spock,” the visitor says, as though Worf doesn’t recognize him, as though anyone wouldn’t recognize him. But then he introduces himself again, with his full Vulcan name; and then a third time, with his Hebrew name.

“I heard,” he continues, “about a boy asking the same questions I did, at his age. It is an old man’s vanity, to assume my own experiences hold any wisdom for the young. Nevertheless, if my counsel would be of value–” he tilts his head as though that’s a joke, though at whose expense Worf can’t tell “–I am at your disposal.”

this is 100% correct and so are the tags, thank u @fremedon:

So you’re in quarantine? Nothing to watch? I have the perfect solution for you.

Star Trek Lower Decks (s1): 4 hours

And if you have less time than you thought or want quality, you can completely ignore those last seven listed and nothing of value will be lost.

I’ve received a bunch of these comments on this post once again and I’m sick to death of it.

So some of you don’t like some parts of Star Trek? That’s fine, great. But y’all gotta stop with this almost pathological need to shit on every post that includes new Star Trek. 

Try welcoming new people in the fandom.

Try saying “Oh I don’t like anything made after 2000 but I’m happy you’ve found a Star Trek series you like. Here’s the ones I like and I hope you like them too!”.

New people that are unfamiliar with Star Trek will find something they love, then they start searching for other people that share this new obsession. And what do they find? A toxic fandom shitting on their new found interest.

What will happen? They will not become trekkies. They wont become part of this fandom. They wont see all the great, positive parts of this fandom that’s been around for over 50 years because every time they talk about how they love Discovery or Picard or the Abrams movies you guys are always there to loudly let them know that it’s just objectively bad in the most rude and inconsiderate ways. There’s no critique, no identification of what can be improved - just “I hate everything about this and you must know”. 

As I said, it’s fine to not like everything in Star Trek. It’s obvious we all have different tastes. But y’all have to stop making these same predictable comments over and over again on my posts. 

PARTICULARLY on posts like these, which are really about how vast and lovely the Star Trek universe is. I want to welcome a new generation into that - not actively make them feel unwelcome. 

I am legally not allowed to judge people who stan Buddy The Background Vulcan because ever since i wqas looking on memory alpha page for all unnamed lower decks characters i can’t stop thinking of him and smiling

Lower Decks said Death To Roddenberry’s Rule Of Religious Exclusion TM and I Stan That and his little department-colored Turban

ok i’m so sorry for adding on with my own tangent like this but i legit had almost this same appearance in mind for a trek oc like 1-2 years ago and i cant believe me and lower decks are on the exact same wavelength once again. you LOVE to see it

me after watching an episode of star trek

via I just want to enjoy Star Trek.

Random Headcanon: That Federation vessels in Star Trek seem to experience bizarre malfunctions with such overwhelming frequency isn’t just an artefact of the television serial format. Rather, it’s because the Federation as a culture are a bunch of deranged hyper-neophiles, tooling around in ships packed full of beyond-cutting-edge tech they don’t really understand. Endlessly frustrating if you have to fight them, because they can pull an effectively unlimited number of bullshit space-magic countermeasures out of their arses - but they’re as likely as not to give themselves a lethal five-dimensional wedgie in the process. All those rampant holograms and warp core malfunctions and accidentally-traveling-back-in-time incidents? That doesn’t actually happen to anyone else; it’s literally just Federation vessels that go off the rails like that. And they do so on a fairly regular basis.

So to everyone else in the galaxy, all humans are basically Doc Brown.

Aliens who have seen the Back to the Future movies literally don’t realise that Doc Brown is meant to be funny. They’re just like “yes, that is exactly what all human scientists are like in my experience”.

THE ONLY REASON SCOTTY IS CHIEF ENGINEER INSTEAD OF SOMEONE FROM A SPECIES WITH A HIGHER TECHNOLOGICAL APTITUDE IS BECAUSE EVERYONE FROM THOSE SPECIES TOOK ONE LOOK AT THE ENTERPRISE’S ENGINE ROOM AND RAN AWAY SCREAMING

vulcan science academy: why do you need another warp core

humans: we’re going to plug two of them together and see if we go twice as fast

vsa: last time we gave you a warp core you threw it into a sun to see if the sun would go twice as fast

humans: hahaha yeah

humans: it did tho

vsa: IT EXPLODED

humans: it exploded twice as fast

I love this. Especially because of how well it plays with my headcanon that the Federation does so much better against the Borg than anyone else because beating the Borg with military tactics is nigh-impossible, but beating them with wacky superscience shenanigans works as long as they’re unique wacky superscience shenanigans.

Yeah, I love this.

Reminds me of the thing I wrote a while back about Humans in high fantasy realms - they’re basically Team Fuck It Hold My Beer I Got This.

Impulsive, passionate to a fault, the social structures they build to try and regulate this hotheadedness ironically creates even greater levels of sheer bull-headedness. Even their “cooler” heads take action in months or weeks.

All their great heroes of the past were impossibly rash by galactic standards. Humans Just Go With It, which is their great flaw but also their greatest strength.

klingons: okay we don’t get it

vulcan science academy: get what

klingons: you vulcans are a bunch of stuffy prisses but you’re also tougher, stronger, and smarter than humans in every single way

klingons: why do you let them run your federation

vulcan science academy: look

vulcan science academy: this is a species where if you give them two warp cores they don’t do experiments on one and save the other for if the first one blows up

vulcan science academy: this is a species where if you give them two warp cores, they will ask for a third one, immediately plug all three into each other, punch a hole into an alternate universe where humans subscribe to an even more destructive ideological system, fight everyone in it because they’re offended by that, steal their warp cores, plug those together, punch their way back here, then try to turn a nearby sun into a torus because that was what their initial scientific experiment was for and they didn’t want to waste a trip. 

vulcan science academy: they did that last week. we have the write-up right here. it’s getting published in about six hundred scientific journals across two hundred different disciplines because of how many established theories their ridiculous little expedition has just called into question. also, they did turn that sun into a torus, and no one actually knows how. 

vulcan science academy: this is why we let them do whatever the hell they want. 

klingons: …. can we be a part of your federation

Come to think of it, I mean. Look at the “first human warp drive” thing in the movie. That was… Not how Vulcans would have done it.

you know what the best evidence for this is? Deep Space 9 almost never broke down. minor malfunctions that irritated O’Brien to hell and back, sure, but almost none of the truly weird shit that befell Voyager and all the starships Enterprise. what was the weirdest malfunction DS9 ever had? the senior staff getting trapped as holosuite characters in Our Man Bashir, and that was because a human decided to just dump the transporter buffer into the station’s core memory and hope everything would work out somehow, which is a bit like swapping your computer’s hard drive out for a memory card from a PlayStation 2 and expecting to be able to play a game of Spyro the Dragon with your keyboard and mouse.

you know what, I’m not done with this post. let’s talk about the Pegasus. the USS Fucking Pegasus, testbed for the first Starfleet cloaking device. here we have a handful of humans working in secret to develop a cloaking device in violation of a treaty with the Romulans. they’re playing catchup trying to develop a technology other species have had for a century. and what do they do? do they decide to duplicate a Romulan cloaking device precisely, just see if they can match what other species have? nope. they decide, hey, while we’re at it, while we’re building our very first one of these things, just to find out if this is possible, let’s see if we can make this thing phase us out of normal space so we can fly through planets while we’re invisible.

“but why” said the one Vulcan in the room.

“because that would fucking rule” said the humans, high-fiving each other and slamming cans of 24th-century Red Bull.

there must be like twenty different counselling groups for non-human engineering students at Starfleet Academy, and every week in every single one of them someone walks in and starts up with a story like “our assignment was to repair a phaser emitter and my one human classmate built a chronometric-flux toaster that toasts bread after you’ve eaten it.”

Humans get mildly offended by the way they are presented in non-human media.

Like: “Guys, we totally wouldn’t do that!” But this always fails to get much traction, because the authors can always say: “You totally did.”

“That was ONE TIME.” 

There’s that movie where humans invented vaccines by just testing them on people. Or the one about those two humans who invented powered flight by crashing a bunch of prototypes. Or the one about electricity. 

And human historians go, “Oh, uh, this is historically accurate, but also kind of boring.” To which the producers respond: “How is doing THIS CRAZY THING boring????????”

There are entire serieses of horror movies where the premise is “We stopped paying attention to the human and ey found the technology.”

reblog for new meta.  RE that last line: McGuyver. 

“MacGuyver” is the equivalent of Vulcan vintage human horror television.

during orientation at a human college, vulcans are presented with a list of swear words. 

“what is the word ‘fuck’ for,” the innocent young vulcans want to know. “surely there are more logical intensity modifiers.”

“yeah, you’d think so,” say the weary, jaded vulcan professors. “you’d really fucking think so.”

there is a phrase in vulcan for ‘the particular moment you understand what the word ‘fuck’ is for’. 

This is why the Federation is the only organisation to ever stand a chance against the Borg

The Borg can adapt to the brilliant millitary strategies of the Romulan Star Empire, the Klingons and even the cold logical intellectual prowess of the vulcans

The Borg weren’t prepared for a starship captain to lure them into his 50′s noir detective holo-novel and then machine gun them to death with a weapon made out of hard light

This thread is amazing. Even as a baby star trek nerd that only really knows the new movies.

“there is a phrase in vulcan for ‘the particular moment you understand what the word ‘fuck’ is for’.”

I just died

I lost my shit at “toasts your bread after you’ve eaten it”

Oh please please someone write this

the best thing about this post is that the way it’s written - by multiple human authors getting over-excited about ridiculous, wonderful, impossible ideas that ought by rights to be terrifying - is itself proof that we’re like this

aaaaaand @fozmeadows wins the thread.

@a-magical-knight

“One of the serious problems with planning against Federation (especially human) doctrine is that Starfleet officers do not read their manuals nor do they feel any obligations to follow their doctrine.”

@howtotrainyournana

Rios and Tom Paris and anyone else on Star Trek who have a lot of anachronistic tech and interests and keep record players and television sets and get 20th century imagery as tattoos are supposed to be like "hey look at this guy who's super cool because of all the vintage stuff he partakes in! He's you but in the future!" But if you think about it, living in the 24th century and having 20th century interests isn't the same as living in 2020 and having 1950s aesthetic. It's like living in 2020 and having a 1600s aesthetic while you churn butter "the old fashioned way" and wear flamboyant codpieces and talk about the heresies of the church reformation all day.

They aren't cool hipsters. They're Ren Faire dorks.

This is hilarious and I'm reblogging this again with a thought: 

Actual 24th century ren faires based on the 20th and 21st century.

With people having the same kind of accuracy as we do today, people would show up with a 2040′s hairstyle while having a flip phone and a dress from 1918. They use slang from the 1970′s and due to a highly popular but badly researched book from the late 22nd century a lot of them are under the impression “Retweet” is a proper form of saying goodbye.

The info fair (From Information Age) takes place in holographic environments lifted from old screen shots of Friends sets. 

‘Worf was in his mid-twenties in season 2 and that sure explains a lot’ a Moodboard

more Worf memes for the new decade:

There’s something about watching Star Trek that just always feels like coming /home/ and that’s such a weirdly specific sensation that you wouldn’t think anyone would share it and yet I know if I post it here at least some of you will know exactly what I mean and that’s a delightful feeling.

Under-rated ST characters: Nog from DS9

love how the enterprise-d crew is just the biggest bunch of Dork Nerds in the galaxy. the relative social abilities score of everyone is -5 but since they’re all socially impaired it barely registers unless data (-7) shows up to slightly unnerve people. the national sport is 3-D chess. everyone has some obscure-ass virgin hobby like Shakespeare Bowling (try to recite an entire sonnet by memory before the ball hits the pins). the ability to perform classical music or paint portraits makes you unbearably sexy. everyone is perpetually doing a research project on a topic absolutely nobody else in the universe cares about. puzzle-solving video games are the drug of choice. grave interpersonal misunderstandings are generally worked out via LARPing and/or live theatre. there’s not a single ounce of Chad Energy aboard the ship except for Guinan, bless her.

Everyone needs a picture of J. G. Hertzler (Martok) holding a gay bat'leth on their dash

Chancellor Martok said gay rights, rb if u agree

The first ep of Picard is up for FREE and legally on youtube. ^^^^