32 years ago Pee Wee Herman was arrested for indecent exposure in a XXX theatre. I remember a shirt with his mug shot on it was all the rage at the first Lollapalooza
Arrested for jerking off in a porn theater. Which is like getting arrested for eating fried food in Alabama.
When I was little I wanted to be Italian REALLT badly bc I loved the movie cars and specifically had a crush on this fucking THING
Which doesn’t speak English at all, all it’s line are in Italian and it’s name is GUIDO. And everyone knew I was obsessed with Italy in elementary school but they didn’t know why bc I, even as a young autistic child, had the sense to know this was a rightfully so, highly mockable thing. So I would read about cars on IMDB and then one day someone posted a crackfic on the message boards there and it was about this guy getting drunk and beating his wife, and it snapped me out of my fugue long enough to realize how absurd wanting to be Italian was, but then it made me cry really hard and my parents were like ‘hey what the fuck’ and I didn’t have the chutzpah to admit anything so I told them I saw a naked lady online and then they went into the computer and found all the weird south park midi songs I downloaded on lime wire and I thought they were literally going to kill me for about two weeks.
The reason I was downloading South Park episodes and songs on limewire and frostwire was because I was also obsessed with Kenny McCormick and for school we had to make a shitty little website about a world issue, so I found this free platform that doesn’t exist anymore but it was like a horrible little wix site from the mid aughts, and we based my groups theme on global warming. But when we were done with it I repurposed it as a perosnal site and lied about being a voluptuous blonde 19 year old woman who worked at a fictitious restaurant called the lunchbox, and I just wrote about how obsessed I was with Kenny McCormick and my sister found it and was like what the fuck is wrong with you. But she never told my parents. She also found this 80 page story I was writing about buddy the elf and all my weird skater ocs breaking into the moulin rouge, and at one point I was sick of buddy so I had a herd of buffalo trample him in the middle of a city and it was very tragic but jarring and unexpected. And she referenced a part of the story to me and it made me SO fucking paranoid that I wiped our entire, family shared packard bell computer and got in huge fucking trouble for it.
‘Top’
I hope they start having better sex, what a shame
me and my friends praying for better gay sex in the vatican
the dad kept buying it tho. #ally
oh i'm never gonna be ten years old on the first day of summer vacation again huh
guy who’s trying to say he wants to fuck nasty but he’s cursed to only speak in rural american idioms: til the cows come home.
Scooby's lineage goes back to the age of myth,
His oldest known ancestor, Enki Doo, even co-stars in the first known work of fiction
I can literally feel myself losing my mind at these implications. I am definitely intrigued tho.
new worldview where i think everyone else has free will and a rich, complex interior life while i am the only person who does not
solipsisn’t
why do you guys feel the need to lie to yourselves
