I thought my blorbo was gonna be the sad detectives but truly I think it's the sexually repressed mad scientist who skulled maple syrup, who has thought about a girl who smiled at him everyday of his life since it happened, who tried to do a good thing once and it went so bad that he decided to never do that again until his midlife crisis hit him like a freight train and led to his defenestration.

I really do love this corporate freak, hope he freedives into total career meltdown, abandons his job, goes get laid and buys a lizard

don't look at me with those brown eyes or I might just spend the rest of my life keeping your hands warm

The purest form of love is consideration. When someone thinks about how things would make you feel. Pays attention to detail. Holds you in regard when making decisions that could affect you. In any bond, how much they care about you can be found in how much they consider you

new favourite hobby, stitching dumb shit onto pretty fabric

Did you know that leeches were once used to predict storms? Well, a tornado warning just dropped and my squad is climbing

@takemetoturch

My dad is a meteorologist and he has never once warned me about an incoming storm. My leeches, however......

https://amp.theguardian.com/news/2015/apr/19/weatherwatch-forecasting-tempest-prognosticator-storm-leech

*urgently* Lads, the leechometre is at 12 bong, I repeat, 12 bong!

im going to cry

THE PRINCESS DIARIES 2: ROYAL ENGAGEMENT ( 2004 ) dir. garry marshall

I don't think Reddit gets enough credit for how hilariously buckwild the subreddit system is.

Like it makes sense on the surface. The subreddits are all topic-focused independent message boards, each with their own moderator teams, and you can curate which ones show up on your feed. Subscribe to the ones that suit your interests and bam you're good.

Except the question of WHO is in charge of every subreddit is an objectively hilarious system. Anyone can create a subreddit. Under any name. Who holds the keys to the kingdom is strictly determined by whoever managed to camp the name first. It's like tumblr URL wars except if whoever managed to grab the URL "homestuck" got to be defacto in charge of the entire homestuck fandom.

Or at least they get to be in charge until they anger the populace and get ousted, Julius Caesar style, by the team of fellow moderators they brought aboard, or until they voluntarily sign the deed over because they don't want to deal with 600,000 angry homestuck fans every single day, or they get mutinied against and all the REAL homestuck fans flock over to "curatedhomestuck" or "homestuckcirclejerk" or "homestuckcirclejerkcirclejerk".

You get seemingly benign subreddits about things like baking or kittens that have absolutely batshit rules because the whole thing is being run by a paranoid and power-hungry 23-year-old from Arkansas. You get inter-subreddit beef where the mods of r/cutekittensdoingcutethings will ban you from their subreddit because you have a history of posting in r/genshinimpact. You get subreddits that fall to ruin and spam because the moderators in charge vanished into the night without passing power along to anyone else.

Redditors love to complain about Reddit moderators and this surprises me not at all because there is simply no possible way that the Reddit moderation system could be a smooth-running machine when its defining underlying mechanic is First Come First Serve. And that's hilarious to me. That's hilarious. Political system where the King is chosen from among the populace of people who comment "first" on Youtube videos. You can't beat that.

As someone who has mispronounced so many words because I never actually heard them. I appreciate this post

you heard of "hating female characters for traits people would find interesting and morally grey in male characters", now get ready for "calling female characters annoying for traits they would consider interesting or quirky in a male character" and its twin sibling "accusing a female character of 'holding grudges' and 'being selfish/unforgiving' over something that people would consider 'traumatised' and 'still feeling hurt' in a male character"

I understand the "I will die for you" ship dynamic, but what about the "I will not let you die, I will not let myself die- we will, at any cost, survive" kind of couple?

TAYLOR SWIFT + Speak Now gowns during the US leg at The Eras Tour

one time I realized "wait, I can just not go" and it was all downhill from there

i am a sucker for the typical stoic fictional man who is actually so soft for his s/o. who buries his nose into the crook of your neck and wraps his arms around your waist whenever he can. maybe he’s not always good with his words, but for you? god. he literally hands you his heart on a silver platter

forget about touching grass, i need to touch THE SEA I NEED TO GO INTO THE WATER I NEED TO DIVE INTO THE SEA!!!!!!!!!!!!

I NEED TO GO IN THERE ⬇️⬇️⬇️‼️‼️‼️

Lol. Everyone in the notes freaking out like 'I live by the sea, don't jump in, it dangerous'.

Like, guys, guys, listen, you don't understand. They don't mean... They want to be... Listen, ok, I grew up on the sea, I've been through hurricanes on trawlers and gale force 9 storms crewing tallships. I've seen enormous waves absolutely destroy boats. I've been caught in riptides while scuba diving and felt the complete powerlessness of it. The sea will absolutely annihilate you, consume you, never give up your body, and not even notice.

I know the power of the sea better than most, however, I know exactly what they mean. Sometimes you see it churning with unfathomable power and all you want is to just get in the sea and have it absolutely fuckin blast you clean. Like sandblast your fuckin soul. Fuckin powerwash your bones clean. Ya know?

Can confirm, getting beat up by the ocean is a religious experience.

we DO grow old and happy. btw.

And you find love and it stays with you.

this is so damn funny