press Ⓧ to PENIS BLAST
something beautiful is happening

something beautiful is happening
people on tumblr love adding "this is the funniest comment ive ever read" "every part of this image hits like a truck" "okay but can we talk about (lists all the things that make a joke funny)" in the comments. why dont you keep your voice down and let the posts wash over you in blissful silence
gnome
what was that. did you guys see that
wtf
idk how my parents can live they way they do. how are you a nine inch nails fan but also homophobic
what did you think this song was about
Yeah
6 hour workday maximum i’m not kidding, if it can’t be done in that timeframe it doesn’t need doing.
this doesn't apply to jobs like childcare
If i worked in childcare and my 6 hours were up i would start putting babies in ziploc bags and shipping them to Turkmenistan listed as endangered fruits and vegetables
BDSM is fine, except for binding people which is fucked up, and dominating people which is fucked up, and sadism which is- lets be real- pretty fucked up, and masochism which is honestly lowkey pathetic
this is what gays under 20 sound like when they talk about kink at pride
Weird how “masturbating and falling asleep in the late afternoon” isn’t regarded as a cherished summertime tradition
Whoever lives like this….. we live in such different worlds that i don’t even want to know you
enough about my guts
it’s time i rearrange his penis.!!!
on it boss!
call my girl's hole the car door the way i'm slamming my penis in it
One struggle 🫡
if we keep getting fatter and hornier we can abolish all world militaries by 2026
can my body stop making noises id appreciate some fucking silence without my stomach being loud as shit
this is me when i blow my load and it starts making the squeaking noise
thank you for your input the world is full of wonder
NOSE I MEANT NOSE. I BLOW MY NOSE AND IT MAKES WEIRD NOISES
something beautiful is happening
holy shit guys
I know we are all like "people in caveman times would drill holes in their head to relieve headaches" andwe go oh that's so stupid that's so dumb but like. then I get a headache and I'm like.ooooh I get it I get it. Grug prepare the drill.
growing up by the coast means that instead of crows on your roof you get seagulls and it honestly feels much more threatening
these are friends. guys even.
this is a mafia family
The inherent homoeroticism of killing your enemy and immediately regretting it
It’s about rage, it’s about obsession, it’s about making that two-person war your entire raison d’être. It’s about loving and mistaking it for hatred and loving and loving and loving to the point of destruction. His or yours, it doesn’t matter. And you think seeing him dead at your feet will make you feel better, but all you feel is a whole lot of nothing.
it feels like i was trying to give op a gentle fist bump and accidentally punched them through several buildings instead
If a Girl is Sleepy (🥱) but not Cosy (🛏), she may reward you with a Bounty if you can provide her with a source of Cosy (🛏).
The Bounty is Girl Cuddles.
The Bouny (🐇)
I really can’t believe I’ve been on this hell site for 8 years
Impart me in your wisdom of ancient times
one time there was a tumblr user with the url “pizza” and she would just comment on any text post about pizza saying “omg that’s me” and then we found out she had an entire tag dedicated to saying the n word
One time somebody paid $750 for the url ‘hi’ and got deleted in less than a year for promoting weight loss scams
There’s always been something deeply wrong with this place.
when I say I opened this fic, read the author’s note, and started laughing so hard I choked—