somehow these are the two guys in charge of the military & science divisions lmfao

audio credits: stereoaudios

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

best dynamic. you agree

I mean... I genuinely can't think of any ship of mine that would apply too cause they all are various degrees of unhinged 🤣🤣🤣

So, I’ve been pulled over a few times in my life. Not many, but a few. And I’ve also been in a couple of cars that got pulled over. And let me tell you, if you were actually doing something wrong, the officer doesn’t make any small talk, just straight into “I clocked you doing 70 in a 55.” The only time I’ve ever gotten the “do you know why I pulled you over?” was the time when I wasn’t doing anything wrong, and I got let go even though he insisted to the end that I was doing 87 in a 70 (white privilege at work).

“Do you know why I pulled you over?” is a trap. It means there’s a good chance the officer doesn’t actually have a good reason to ticket you, and is trying to get you to waive your 5th Amendment rights and incriminate yourself. If you make a guess, that’s a confession of guilt.

But there’s another trap, that I’ve heard of but haven’t yet experienced. It’s “do you know how fast you were going?” With that one, they’re hoping you’ll say no, because then they can name whatever speed they want – you just said you didn’t know how fast you were going, if you deny the speed they name then you’re lying to them.

Oh, I’ve had that one. Go with “yes.” Don’t give them a number, just say “Yes.” Then they still have to offer a number and you can deny it without contradicting yourself. They could just ask you, at that point, but that’s suspiciously similar to saying they don’t know, and they tend to avoid doing that.

Reblog to save a life

if you scroll past this just because it doesn’t affect you personally, i see you.

Also, you can always go to court and contest a ticket, and a lot of times you’ll win. Or if the cop thinks you’ll win they won’t even show up and you’ll win by default.

They like to target out of state plates because anyone who would be majorly inconvenienced by a court date two months away is a lot more likely to just pay it.

Spent a lot of time with out of state plates and got a lot of tickets. Not one since. One time I was asked for license and insurance and said, “sure, can you tell me why you pulled me over?” We went round like that a couple of times before he said “I get what I want first” and ticketed me for being barely over the limit in his speed trap. Some people shouldn’t be put in positions of power.

This is honestly some sick shit yall have to put up with... I'm so sorry to anyone who has ever been treated like crap by an a-hole that gets high on power abuse smh.

People blocking my path bc they are slow-moving, e.g. elderly people and others with mobility issues: Take your time, no problem, please do not apologize, I am in no rush 👍🏻❤️

People blocking my path because they are not paying one bit of attention: I feel murder in my heart. I feel seething, bone-crushing rage. You had to stand and stop in a fucking doorway? What are you doing on your phone? Are you tapping your last will and te

Literally heard a convo at the library where a guy was telling a girl that he’s an omega and the girl telling him that she’s a beta, and my mind just did not automatically connect the context to fraternity pledge classes at all and I just whispered to myself “what the fuck?? What the fuck??”

a comedy of errors

This is so good 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Nobody apologized for how they treated me, they just blamed me for how I reacted.

100 favorite Amanda Tapping photos 4/100

This could save your life.

BOOST.

Absolutely vital information to have if you live where the waters freeze over.

I especially appreciate this guy's commitment to actually showing the steps himself. That cold-shock response is a bitch and willingly subjecting himself to it couldn't have been fun.

I don’t live anywhere near water like this, but I am still memorizing this knowledge because:

* I might use it in a story someday.

* Any knowledge that staves off the dying is good knowledge.

Some kids passed away today in my region from falling in icy water, so thought it was important to boost.

Life-saving infos are always important to boost

2 am to 10:30 am is prime sleep schedule

reblog this with your sign and preferred sleep schedule

#1 thing i have learned from this post? aquarius are fucking DISASTERS

i really like looking at google image searches for “firemen rescuing cats” or something because you get super cute pictures like

AND THEN THERE’S THIS ONE

“THAT’S RIGHT TWAS I that set the house ablaze!!!”

Dying.

Every fucking time I know what’s at the bottom and every time I still lose my shit.

I’m so happy this post is back again asdlkfjsa

God this post is ANCIENT

How could I forget this post exists 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Jack comes in and puts a hand on her shoulder while she cries at Daniel’s bedside. “Come on, Carter. Don’t cry on his bandages.”

She sobs out a laugh and lets him tug her out of the room and into privacy to let her compose herself. His hand is tangled with hers and she follows him unquestioningly, her own words ringing in her head. She doesn’t want to wait anymore. It could have been any of them in that bed. It could have been him.

There’s a few moments of movement and then he’s pushing them into her empty lab, dark and cool and comforting. He knows this is her safe place.

“C'mere.”

He tugs their joined hands and pulls her into his chest. It’s the most contact they’ve had since Jonah and Thera overruled their better sense of judgement and she wraps her arms around his waist, buries her face in his chest and breathes him in. Hugging him–touching him–is second nature, the thing she always craves just beneath her control.

His hands are large and warm and roam over her back in soothing comforting circles. It makes her cry harder. He’s a good man and she loves him.

Why do we wait to tell people how we really feel?

She’s done waiting. They’ve hidden and denied themselves so long and for what? For it to all be gone in one decision, one stray zat gun bolt, one faulty gate connection? Not being able to tell him how she felt, not being able to kiss him or hold his hand or go home with him at the end of the day had done nothing to lessen her feelings. She still loved him, whether the Air Force said she could or not. 

Her head lifts from his chest and she puts distance between them, just enough to tilt back and look up at him. His hands settle on the small of her back, dangerously close to the waistband of her pants. Curling her fingers into the front of his uniform, feeling the thick stitching around O’Neill of his shirt, she smiles softly at him, a sort of steely peace settling over her. 

He was here in her arms, real and solid and alive, and she needed to tell him that nothing had changed for her. That she was still his, as long as he wanted her.

Why do we wait to tell people how we really feel?

“You need to know,” she starts, voice just short of desperate and frantic. Her grip tightens on his uniform, keeping him close as if her words could be trapped here just between them. “In case it’s ever one of us. You need to kno–”

He presses a finger to her lips, eyes glinting and intense and focused. “I know,” he says softly. The pads of his fingers are soft and warm on her lips and she considers what it would be like in another life to be able to lick and nip at the skin, to demonstrate her affection the way she wants. For now, the words need to be enough.

She shakes her head and  talks against his fingers. “I know. But you need to hear it. Just once,” she begs. “I need to say it.”

He closes his eyes like the words will physically pain him if he hears it but he nods, smoothing his fingers over her lips and curling his fingers beneath her chin, cupping her jaw. An acquiescence. She presses her cheek into his touch, eyes fluttering close. 

“I love you.”

The words fill the room and the tension drains from both of them, a weight temporarily lifted from them both. She opens her eyes and sees him staring down at her, mouth parted, wanting. He strokes his thumb over the curve of her cheek and leans forward, resting their foreheads together.

“I love you, too, Sam.” She shudders in his arms, lets the words fill her up. “So much,” he adds.

They stand there in that room–pressed close together and breathing in the other’s air, the confession blanketing them in a cocoon all their own. It’s enough for now. 

It’s enough.

OW MA HEART 😭😭😭😭😭

Fun Christmas idea:

Hang mistletoe but instead of kissing you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it

Mistlefoe™

SOMEONE’S HALLS ARE GETTING

DECKED

A love letter to the co-conspiritors

They have many names—beta reader, friend, Oh Fuck You—but you know who they are: they’re the person who is as rabid as you about a ship or a character, the one you DM with your most twisted headcanons, the one who agrees that YES, he SHOULD be tied to a chair and slapped in the face—that she SHOULD be allowed a little tragic backstory, as a treat—that they SHOULD be roommates who are secretly pining for one another…the one who hashes out with you, at past midnight, how soon is reasonable for people with superpowers to have sex after one of them has been shot in the leg.

They’re the person who reads your fic before you send it to anyone else, and raves with you about that plot point that you COULDN’T WAIT for them to reach, or points out where you’ve forgotten that they were at the bar, not the library, so you need to remove the reference to book stacks, or pokes you to finish the goddamn next chapter because they want to read it, okay?

Fandom would not exist without them. They enable and encourage. Some of them are also fic writers, and you get to enable them right back. Some of them create fan art, or meta, or text post edits, or run prompt fests, or edit wikis…some of them are simply just as in love with the same thing that you are and want to feed the squee.

If you’re lucky enough to have someone like this in your life, you’ll know how much impact they have. It’s different to getting comments and kudos (wonderful though those are!), because they come in before the fic is finished, sometimes even before it’s started, and say ‘yes, do it!’. The fact that I’ve written so much for Community and The Umbrella Academy is completely down to @bethanyactually and @wheresmytowel respectively, and I count myself incredibly lucky to have them both in my life (and not just for all this, but also because they’re both incredibly lovely and smart and fun).

It was Fanfic Writer Appreciation Day yesterday (Aug 21st), and it made me think that we should also give a shoutout to the co-conspiritors, because without them, an awful lot more fic writers would be stress-scrolling through tumblr instead of working on their WIP, and there’d be so much less fic in the world.

Sanctuary + textposts 01

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 accurate

This is a really good thread.

Seconded

Been a rough couple days for one of our favorite cats, send Miette some good thoughts.

TREMENDOUS news

Happiness for Miette!

You DRUG Miette? You lace her lizard with the HALLUCINOGEN??

Are we at the burning man??

Tripping balls for Miette. Tripping balls for Miette for 36 hours.

Happy the little fur baby is better 🥰🥰

friendly reminder that a good portion of fandom creators do everything for free and that taking one minute or less to reblog what they post is the least you can do after they have spent hours working insanely hard to make you happy