S t a n k P a s t a

when i say 'omg' i do not mean 'oh my god'. i mean omg

me talking about the cinematography of whiplash (2014)

you’re whatever

hate this new andre garfield obsession,,, stay away from thatgay man

positive!!

seeing everyone now in love with andrew garfield is so funny cause he’s been tumblr’s princess diana

I love substances (ibuprofen, prozac, banana bread, etc)

Talk about getting two birds stoned at once lol

Assigned Cop at Birth

Are we sure this is not a pro-abortion ad?

You ever think about how unified humanity is by just everyday experiences? Tudor peasants had hangnails, nobles in the Qin dynasty had favorite foods, workers in the 1700s liked seeing flowers growing in pavement cracks, a cook in medieval Iran teared up cutting onions, a mom in 1300 told her son not to get grass stains on his clothes, some girl in the past loved staying up late to see the sun rise.

there are scriptures all over the world painstakingly crafted hundreds of years ago with paw prints and spelling mistakes or drawings covering up mistakes. a bunch of teenage girls 2000 years ago gathered to walk around their hometown, getting fast food and laughing with their friends. two friends shared blankets before people lived in houses. a mother ran a fine comb through her child’s hair and told it to stop squirming sometime in the 1000s. there are covered up sewing mistakes in couture dresses from the 1800s, some poor roman burnt their food so well past recognition that they just buried the entire pot. there are broken dishes hidden in gardens of people no one even remembers anymore

the best part of Breaking Bad is when one of the first episodes establish one of Jesse’s primary interests in life is milfs

i guess we’re similar in that way

no one talks about the ADHD symptom of being extremely kissable. it makes me sick

sometimes my cat will hide behind corners and jump out at me and i will jump and run and he will chase and then ill toss him a treat if im near a bag of them and then i will pick him up and give him a kiss and then let him run around it aint much but its honest work

till deactivation do us part

if you were raised in an environment where displays of romance and romantic affection (especially physical) were heavily looked down upon to the point that the most minimal and casual displays of romantic affection (such as a kiss on the cheek) made you feel disgusted but also had you craving it and then being disgusted at yourself for craving affection clap your hands

also if you were raised in a home where your parents displayed little to no affection (especially physical) in front of you and/or told you that affection was only to be between married people and even then should not be on display which left you to a) hate romcoms b) feel insanely uncomfortable on new years c) have a hard time understanding the difference between platonic and romantic feelings d) never want to date/get married then clap your hands