Lizard👁Queen

I'm gonna sue Larian for ruining my life. All I think about now is stupid vampire pixel man. Everyday, every other thought. Like why can't I have him for real? It's driving me insane.

astarion? oh sure, i've heard of him, he's that sexy and suave,

cool and collected,

immune-to-all-physical-touch,

slightly cruel vampire, right?

yeah, that's him, that's the guy

hyperfixation sucks I think just a little too hard about a guy who isn't even real and I could start crying any second

adding the entire userbase to a big discord server named 'tumblr 2.0' to solve no problems whatsoever and invent several new ones

Nope

i need to talk about my dick.

what is it this time, buzz lightyear huge cock?

hurts.

after I watched fnaf it was like omg. I can't go to bed freddy fagbear will be in my closet

guess who just made another horrific typo

HELP??????

I have to hand it to Astarion's creators because ever since Baldur's Gate 3 came out only 2 months ago, artists are speed running art history from the Renaissance to current times by recreating every famous oil painting but with the stupid vampire as the subject and I'm like "Yeah, that's right" every time. I don't know exactly what Larian Studio put in that guy but it is certainly working.

Astarion, in the style of Leyendecker

beach episode?

“Trollet som grunner på hvor gammelt det er“ by Theodor Kittelsen

“(Troll Wonders How Old He Is)”

My favourite Kittelsen story was his reaction when he heard another Norwegian artist had started drawing Trolls as well. “How can he draw Trolls?” he is said to have asked. “He’s never seen a troll.”

hello lgbtq I have baby carrots I am willing to feed to you

pspspspspspsspss come here

I could get over anything as long as I have something new to be obsessed with

girls when they don’t have a new obsession that helps them dissociate from their problems and they’re actually forced to face their thoughts

i’m sorry i still think this is one of the funniest lines written for anything ever