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ZodiacRuler

@stabble1234

difference between emperor penguin and king penguin is that a baby emperor penguin is a kind, gentle, benevolent creature, and a baby king penguin is the devil.

observe

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Me on two hours of sleep vs me on nine hours

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Blease look at my very angry baby

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Hey everyone else in the notes, I’m the grandson of a professional cat judge and breeder and you literally have to just. Hold cats. To make them used to being handled. Like, they’re gonna get pissed but you’re not hurting them At All I promise. This lil guy is just miffed he’s not being hurt and he’s not thrashing out he’s just an angry baby pls calm down

Just so y’all know here’s the same cat 7 months later :-)

Yeah, literally all cats have to be socialized or they’re going to be feral. Every kitten starts off as a ball of fury and prickles, it’s just how they are. Hold the grumby babies and they get over it and realize that you’re actually Pretty Cool. It helps if mama is around to make the babies go see you even when they’d really rather not, but even so, they’re just like this and you gotta hold them anyway.

Just heard someone on the radio say “if you’re having trouble sleeping, just join the military, they teach you how to sleep anywhere” and it really has similar vibes to that post that’s like “just get pregnant and you’ll see who your real friends are”

“If you’re curious about an afterlife, die”

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Condom packaging based on different vegetable girths to help choose the correct fit - by Guan-Hao Pan

brilliant

I legitimately thought this was individually wrapped vegetable slices and I was so mad about it

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I’m a 22 yr full time service provider for UPS in Toronto, Canada. 😀This is my customer’s dog Prince. Comes to the sound of diad scan, then kisses my face and rolls over for belly rub. Very cute! 😍. Thank you for sharing Louis. 👍🏼📦

Source: ups-dogs
me: [skateboards up to you]
me: hi. i can’t actually skateboard in real life, but on an internet post, the only limitation is my imagination
me: [keeps skateboarding away, my body starting to transform into a hot pink fighter jet]