Unbetitelt

“can i kiss you?”

LET'S HEAR IT FOR TINNITUS!

I am at my heart a hypocrite because I'll talk long and hard about the importance of platonic relationships in fiction and how they're just as important and powerful as romantic ones and then the instant two characters show undying loyalty for each other I'm like"👀👀👀👀 what if they kissed?"

Erogenous Bosch or whatever his name is

That's the one who got really turned on by nearly everything. I think the artist was Heterogenous Bosch.

That's the one who was composed of many different organs, none of them alike. You're thinking of Endogenous Bosch

That's the one whose artistic process took place wholly within his body. I think you meant Androgynous Bosch.

That’s the one of indeterminate sex. I think you meant Cacophonous Bosch.

No, that's the noisy one. You were probably thinking of Euphonious Bosch.

That's the brass instrumentalist. You're thinking of Hierophanius Bosch.

No, that's the one that's a physical manifestation of the diveine, you're thinking of Eponymous Bosch.

Stop memorizing my attack patterns. That's fucked up. Who let you do that.

Mother fucker. You know what? I'm entering my second phase. Have fun with the choir arrangement of my theme ass hole.

ready the crabs

oh to be physically and emotionally taken care of by your ✨ Girl Best Friend ✨  after having a nightmare twitter | instagram | ko-fi  

all my werewolves are getting this quirk. karl barks if you will

Pro-Capitalist’s defense of capitalism is just explaining how it works, and then when you say “yes I know, I just think it shouldn’t be like that” they explain it to you again but angrier this time

They say “It’s fair because the people who own capital earn all the rewards” and then you say “I dont think owning capital entitles you to all the profits” and then their brain short circuits

“He invested capital”

“Yes and then a thousand other people did work while he sat around and profited.”

“But… he invested capital….”

they literally CAN NOT FATHOM that I know how capitalism works and just oppose it on moral grounds

okay but also i love every plot line in first kill. i love juliette and calliope being useless lesbians making out in inappropriate places. i love watching Elinor being evil and unhinged and trying to be supportive in her fucked up backwards way. i love seeing Theo and Apollo being absolut dumbasses. i love Oliver and his witch girlfriend doing shady things with style. i love the milfs constantly meeting up although claiming they can't stand each other. i love Ben and Juliette spooning. it's all just so entertaining and it's been forever since I watched a show that gave me that much comfort

childhood friends are like open wounds

um seriously? like i haven’t seen you since i was seven and i love you with my whole heart. we stopped speaking because you hurt my feelings and i sometimes look at that bracelet we shared. there is no healing. there is no going back. there’s no knowing if they think about it as much. there is just nostalgia and aching when you walk past cherry trees

Netflix realising they might have to make a s2 of First Kill despite their best efforts to tank it

“First Kill is bad” to YOU. It was actually made for ME personally though so shut up. Sorry you can’t appreciate a pining lesbian vampire with a gay best friend that’s ride or die, a lesbian monster hunter with a neon aesthetic and a relationship with her ex, milfs, a complete lack of homophobia, monster hunting, shitty cgi, and cliche romantic tropes queer people never get to enjoy, but me? Well I can because I have TASTE

dear lord, the women you put on this earth to play video games and sleep are being forced to integrate into society

Video game building IRL

“Where do you work?”

*suspiciously* “Yeah? Where’s it at?”

Oh down by

Me: “Hey darlin’, you wanna go to A Nice Restaurant to eat?”

Her: “Sure thing!  Where??”

Me: *prepares for a “Who’s On First”-esque conversation*

True: I once waited tables for a high-end steak and wine place that was called The Strip Club. Whenever someone asked where I worked, it required some explanation. Especially when my dad asked.

rb to explode a terf ^_^ nonrefundable ^_^

My mom’s very religious coworker asked if I had a boyfriend yet and my mom didn’t really want to tell her im a lesbian so she went ‘Vera only wants a rich man’ which sufficiently killed that conversation

My mom, beating my gay allegations:

Fully aware this is a grossly inaccurate oversimplification of complex psychological and sociological trends, I am nevertheless opting to embrace misinformation by believing, regardless of all evidence to the contrary, that Elon Musk dickriding can be blamed on MCU Iron Man