Skeleton Queen

@busbug

someone: have you seen breaking bad?

me, remembering this video: yeah it was amazing

Quality. Content.

“My mom has 5 sets of china (don’t ask) and put them in her pool prior to being evacuated from fires in northern California. The dishware survived!”

Mom priorities

@biomechanicalfishhorror @ocoree @gallusrostromegalus

1. To quote an old engineering proverb: “If it looks stupid, but it works, it’s not stupid.”

2. I love that the two lawn chairs are in there too.

That’s really cool that both of your parents are dogs

im screaming.

Who wants to guess how many bags of peaches are in my dad’s freezer?

The answer is:

Too fucking many

This is gonna make … a lot of jam …….

So, I managed to fit all but one big bowl of peaches into the two stock pots …

An hour and a half later, here they are simmering away …

How long is it gonna take to reduce them to jam, you ask?? Fuck if I know at this size lmao

In case you were wondering, it is, in fact, longer than 5 hours, as I am still stirring this jam over the oven :) :) :)

Oh and also there was another large bowl of peaches in the other fridge that I did not see until later, so I did not in fact fit ALL the peaches into the stock pots

On a brighter note, the whole house smells like a Victorian Christmas dinner

Hello again friends, it is currently REAL JAMMING TIME and I have been in stirring hell for seven hours

Went through two whole containers of pectin and a bunch of cornstarch already and things are looking just PEACHY

So, uh, the first stock pot alone yielded 272 ounces, so I … may have accidentally made about 68 8oz jars of jam …… and I only had 36 jars …

Guess I’m going back to the store tomorrow … and going to have to join the local farmers market to sell them …

Anyway, TEN CONTINUOUS HOURS OF WORK LATER, here I am at around 3am sealing my first batch of jars … (entire other stock pot of jam lurks ominously in the background)

God, it’s like when you overestimate how much pasta you’re gonna end up with, only 300% worse

So I woke up today after sleeping like a log to fibd my dad had already gone back to the store (which is like 30 min away) and gotten me more jars because he saw that I needed them

As you can see one of those pachages is the wrong size jar (4oz) so we’ll see if I can fit all the jam into these suckers (plus the two 8oz ones I had leftover)

My dad also put all the jars of jam in the fridge, although since they were all properly sealed (aw yeah) was totally unnecessary lol

He said he accidentally dropped one on the way to the fridge but I checked and it amazingly A) didn’t break, and B) remained properly sealed, so hats off to Ball corp, and also me I guess

Update: WE BE JAMMIN’

Spices I used for this recipe:

-Cinnamon

-Nutmeg

-Ginger

-Allspice

-Vanilla Extract

The combination worked out very well!

Gotta can the rest of it after I eat tho :P

So, I FINALLY managed to can all the jam, except for like … 6 oz of it, so I made shortbread cookies to use that with ;)

Altogether I did end up with 72 jars of jam, 12 of which are the 4oz size though. What the fuck am I gonna do with all this jam, jesus christ

Anyway, thanks for coming to my jam-filled TED talk guys, take care

send me some jam op

somebody really did this

I feel like the real peril of growing up Christian that no one really talks about is how deeply veggie tales songs get embedded into your fuckin head like a ticking time bomb of inanity

it could be decades later and you’re minding your own business in line at the grocery store or on the bus or trying to fall asleep and from the depths of your brain comes “the bunny, the bunny, ooh I love the bunny”

you’ll never be free

someone, being normal: it’s time

my goblin brain:

anytime i lose my hairbrush…..yall already know whats going down

me: walking anywhere

in the depths of my hell mind, in a French accent: KEEP WALKING! butyouwon’tknockdownourwall keep walking! BUT IT ISN’T GONNA FALL!

no

maybe

white people

me and my friends next month

I learned nothing in class today.

Maki Naro @ The Nib

Your future self is talking shit about you

I’m talking shit about me too she ain’t special