minos was such a pussy. if my wife gave birth to an epic minotaur baby i wouldn't have locked him in a labyrinth. i would have taken him to the mcdonalds play place (athens) every day and let him eat as many stray mcnuggets (athenians) off the floor as he wanted. i love you hungry son
(pulling a painted vase out of my wallet) and this is my youngest at his first nose ring fitting. isn't he handsome
as a kid i had one of those “there’s a monster under my bed” moments except real.
every night i would cry about a ghost or something trying to scare me by knocking on my bedroom windows and walls. like, really loudly, every hour or so, every night. only at night. so my dad was like “heh okay kiddo let’s check it out :) ah see? there’s nothing here :)” and left.
until years later he admitted to me that he did in fact hear the unexplainable knocking when he slept in that room one night, and it kept him awake with fear. and suddenly felt awful for not believing little kid me.
imagine your kid being like “daddy there’s a demon in my closet” and you being like ok son lemme just check that for you :). and you open the door and there’s a demon in the closet
WHAT
I am consuming a media and you are going to hear about it
and the thrilling sequel: i consumed a media months ago and you are still hearing about it
and the cautionary conclusion: the media has consumed me
Stolen from Reddit.
Chocolate chip but chocolate chip cookie dough is my favourite. I also had this banana fudge ice cream once that was really good.
Finding a new favorite fictional character is like, will you be temporary or will you become a permanent part of my personality for the next 10 years?
I know everyone says it’s best to just stick to “said” as a dialogue tag bc it disappears and that’s true and I mostly do but I want to take a moment for my all-time favorite dialogue tag, “lied.” Absolutely nothing hits like “‘I’m here to help,’ he lied.” NOTHING.
ABSOLUTELY one of my favourites.
it's rotten work, but without the rot nothing can grow
it's rotten work but decay is part of the cycle of death and rebirth
All the dead things: Its rotten work
The mushroom internet: Not to mycelium. Not if its you
holy shit
vaporwavies
transcription: “dude if he fucks up mac and che- … GARFIELD? GARFIELD!? NO! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? BEEL GATES? NO, wuh-WAIT, THAT’S MY GAMECUBE YOU BITCH!!!! huoAHWHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!? hWAIT NO GARFIELD IS ON FIRE… DIO! NO! WH
The transcript could not have possibly prepared me for the actual video
please can someone tell me why people sometimes screenshot posts and put them underwater
To the ocean with you
NO PLEASE I CANT SWIM