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ive been spiderham for thirty fucking years

@spooderham

I write (i said, ya know, like a liar)

I love that the pandemic actually definitively proved a lot of those "hard" questions for us. Masking up reduced cases of the flu to almost nonexistent numbers and we had zero flu deaths for a time. The welfare and social service and unemployment programs helped keep people living paycheck to paycheck out of poverty, and those stimulus checks some folks keep complaining about actually massively benefitted the common man and the economy. Individual personal travel was so extremely restricted on a global scale that we basically have concrete proof that individual restraint in terms of driving cars or travelling means absolutely nothing by comparison because the mass pollution is coming from the fisheries and the corporations with private jets and container ships. Working from home actually has massive benefits for a company like productivity boosts and better mental health of employees while also saving gas

and we're just. Willingly going back to how everything was before. We were shown how to do things better and the people in charge said "that's nice but we just want to get everything 'back to normal' :)"

the contingency plan if Batman ever goes evil: have a tearful Superman throw him into the sun and wait at least ten minutes to make sure that fucker is really dead (can’t ever be too sure with Mr. Contingency Plan himself)

Terrible plan, Evil!Batman had prep time and has replaced the entire sun with KRYPTONITE (don't ask how he got more kryptonite than there was in the entire volume of the planet Krypton, he had prep time okay)

Implicit storytelling in two tweets:

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Yeah. They did that. I bet the ‘clarification’ came as a result of some strong legal threats.

So be aware in the coming weeks that if your favorite actor reportedly says something shitty about the strike that makes your blood boil? Check the sources. There’s going to be a lot of uh, spin in the news.

listen i know each actor brings their own spice to a role, but i just can’t take timothee chalamet’s wonka seriously 

where is the madness behind his eyes??? the malice??? the complete disregard for the laws of mankind and decency???

this man makes me fear that i’ll be shoved into a taffy machine at the slightest provocation 

as! he! should!

i get kidnapped by a rich creep and he does the whole "have dinner with me wearing this specific dress (or die)" thing and i'm like okay lol let's see the dress and it turns out the dress doesn't fit me because the loser just thought he could grab any old low-cut red dress off the rack because he's a man and so i have to explain that there are very very few dresses that actually fit my weird proportions and so we take the fancy dinner to go and spend four hours dress shopping and then sometime around dress #27 i make my daring escape and he doesn't even bother to pursue me because he's so tired of shopping

bargain basement shit tier creep doesn't even know your measurements from watching you in his van for months, this is a red flag ladies!!! 😫❌🚨🚨🚨💅

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tumblr staff says that if we don't buy $17,000 in crabs by 10 p.m. the whole website is going to be shut down by hotel management and all the guests are going to have to go home

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castles crumbling 🤝 nothing new 🤝 the archer 🤝 dear reader 🤝 mirrorball 🤝 anti-hero 🤝 coney island 🤝 you're on your own kid 🤝 this is me trying

Steve: I truly believe that water can solve all your problems. Reader: Weight loss? Drink water. Eddie: Clear skin? Drink water. Billy: Want to get rid of someone? Drown them.

(Some crack in the form of incorrect quotes. Billy murder vibe showing it itself again)

Paris Police: Gabriel Agreste is dead?? Where is the body? Did Monarch escape? Is he dead too?!
Bugnoire, lighting a cigarette: Don’t worry about it