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Spontaneous Parkour!

@spontaneousparkour / spontaneousparkour.tumblr.com

I somehow made it back to this meme dump. Middle Eastern/American, he-him-his.
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Only good thing about Christmas time is I get to hear carol of the bells all the time but the bad part is I have to act normal like that song doesn’t go hard as fuck

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Every other Christmas song is like la la la I love you christmassss or oh jesussss I love youuu meanwhile carol of the bells is like fire shooting out of a flaming skull but it’s like in a snow globe it’s like a fucking boss track

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shout out to all other neurodivergent people who just keep finding out like clockwork that something you do or probably have done without thinking twice is what everyone else looks for as “creepy” or “suspicious” behavior

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People keep posting ‘what’s REALLY in your food’ articles like I’m gonna stop eating whatever it’s about lmao Listen, death is coming. Death is coming. Pass me a hot dog.

Don't feel ashamed of doing "CHILDISH" things

•buy toys/dolls/crayons •play with Legos •play old videogames/dress up games •weave friendship bracelets •watch cartoons •use stickers •draw pics of your favorite characters

If it makes you feel nice, do it. Don’t even worry about what other people think, because it doesn’t matter–if it brings you happiness, it’s not “ridiculous”, or “immature”.

You deserve to enjoy yourself.

Let me share with you what I consider to be the most important less I’ve learned in my adult life:

“Growing up doesn’t mean you can’t have Zebra Cakes. Growing up simply means that, if you want to have Zebra Cakes, you buy them for yourself.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Bear?” Well, let me explain. For those of you who live outside of the US, this is a Zebra Cake:

It’s a little pre-packaged snack cake that is horribly cheap and junky and really not that great, but it is like manna from heaven to me. I fucking love these things. When I was a little kid growing up, my mom bought Zebra Cakes but once in a blue moon. They were intended to be put in mine and my siblings’ school lunches, but my brother and I would eat them whenever we wanted, so Mom just didn’t see the point. (They also used to be kind of expensive, at least for our family’s budget.) Needless to say, the coveted Zebra Cakes were a luxury for me, and were one of the tastes of my childhood.

Fast forward to my college years. I was living in an apartment with three other people, doing my own shopping and cooking. I was in the grocery store, picking up some stuff, and I happened to walk past a display of snack cakes. Among them were several boxes of Zebra Cakes.

I paused at this, chuckling to myself. Oh man. Zebra Cakes. I haven’t had those in years. I loved those when I was a kid. I reminisced happily and thought about how much I missed the taste of Zebra Cakes, then started to walk away.

And then I stopped dead.

Because I had realized that there was literally nothing stopping me from buying a box of Zebra Cakes. There was nothing stopping me from buying ten boxes of Zebra Cakes. If I wanted Zebra Cakes, I could have goddamn Zebra Cakes, because it was my money and my decision to make.

I put two boxes in my cart (they were 2 for $5) and never looked back.

Here’s the secret I learned that day: The idea of something being “just for kids” is, by and large, bullshit. What you do on your own adult free time with your own adult money is, by its very nature, adult stuff. It’s like comedian Eddie Izzard (who frequently performed his routines in drag) once said when someone asked about him wearing ‘women’s clothes’: “They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them.”

I am 25 years old, and yesterday I bought myself a shark lunchbox. Look at it. Look at how awesome my lunchbox is.

Was this lunchbox intended to by bought for and used by a child? Yes. The tag said it was for ages 3 and up. But it was bought by and will be used by an adult, and anyone who thinks that’s wrong is probably just jealous that they don’t have the self-confidence to rock a shark lunchbox at 25.

So like. Being “mature” and “an adult” doesn’t mean you have to completely abandon the things that made you happy when you were younger. It just means that you may have to approach them in a different way. 

Pay attention, there’s a lesson here

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I hesitated reblogging this, and I am not entirely sure why.

LEGO. I just turned 42 and I have LEGO sets allllll over my house. Why? Because I wanted them, and because it is my money and I will spend it how I like, MOTHER.

As long as you aren’t bankrupting yourself, buy the things you *want* to buy, the things that bring you JOY.

you are missing out on so much if you just stick to “adult things”

THANK YOU!

I’m turning 26 in May and back in December I bought a set of gel pens on a whim. We could never afford them when I was a kid and they weren’t in my budget that month but I wanted them so I spent $6 and bought them.

Best. Decision. EVER. I write with gel pens exclusively now and I have no regrets. I love picking a new color when I write. I feel so much joy choosing between glitter, metallic, neon, and pastel pens.

Let yourself be happy. There’s no right way to be an adult.

Get yourself the things you wanted as a child but never could have.

I swear the final trailer of Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night just exudes big dick energy.

Like it just starts off by showing the complaints about the demos of the game

Then Based Igarashi-San in his Dracula throne just goes

And the rest of thr trailer basically just

“Yeah we heard your complaints…”

God I just love it when the studio shows feedback, and takes everything into consideration.

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I love it when folks try to defend deliberately obtuse and obnoxious media by going  “oh, but you see, it’s that way because it Has A Message – you’re just too stupid to see that”.

Well, yeah.

Of course it Has A Message.

All art Has A Message.

That’s how expression works.

Suggesting that you can’t criticise a work based on its form simply because it Has A Message boils down to an assertion that aesthetic critiques are invalid because words have meaning. It’s a total non sequitur – it’s like saying you can’t have an opinion about Canadian politics because pineapples exist.

There is no biblical evidence that Jesus even knew how to parallel park. Letting him take the wheel seems a bit irresponsible.

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Uh, no, you’re so wrong? Everybody knows that Jesus drove a Honda, but he didn’t like to talk about it?

From John 12:49 ‘For I do not speak of my own Accord…’

That is brilliant and this post is an example of the right way to do religious jokes are are actually funny without being preachy nor offensive. 

Maybe Jesus didn’t like to talk about it because it wasn’t the same kind of car as his Dad’s.

Because as we all know, God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in His Fury.

Nah, clearly God drives Dodge pickup trucks, because Moshe’s people are told not to approach the mountain “until the Ram’s horn sounds a long blast” -Exodus 19:13. 

fUCK YOU ALL

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I LOVE YOU ALL

On 6 February 2012, a female black-footed cat kitten, Crystal, was born to a domestic cat surrogate after interspecies embryo transfer.
A black-footed cat served as the surrogate mother for [2011′s] litter. Researchers next sought to show that vastly more plentiful domestic cats can serve as surrogate mothers in efforts to save the small wild cat from extinction.
“Being able to use domestic cats adds another extra dimension to that, being able to produce more,” said Earle Pope, acting director of the center. Only 53 of the cats, which are native to South Africa, live in zoo collections in the United States.
(source for text, images from Dara o’Briain’s Science Club)

This is one of the rarest species of African cats, but most people don’t even know it exists.

Save the kitties

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Using surrogates to save a species, I’m here for it.

i can’t stand it when people complain about how expensive printer ink is, like it’s “”capitalism’s fault”“. do you have any idea how hard it is to milk a squid

It must be utterly disappointing

Customers who get angry when I read them their total cost are so compelling to me. Take charge of your narrative, Janice. Be the hero of your own story. You are the one who is purchasing $113.67 worth of adult zen coloring books, Janice. It’s not me you hate, Janice. It’s not me.

the big mistake with live-action zelda would be to give it a generic medieval aesthetic. zelda is the series where the ancient goddesses build meso-american tron temples, I don't want to see mucky scottish castles and jousting

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but zelda is a the epitome of generic medieval aesthetic?

are you shitting me