Spones, Spirk, And Stuff

every sentence of this summary is more powerful than the last

Spirk writer standing in the doorway: “Mom says it’s my turn to dictate how Pon Farr works.”

You can't tell me our main man Jim, Jim Kirk, James Kirk, James T Kirk, James Tiberius Kirk, CAPTAIN stack of books on legs James Respectful and Sensitive Tiberius Kirk does not know about Vulcan hand touching and their significance.

This man. JAMES KIRK. Looked at Spock, clearly vulcan spock, hands firmly planted behind his back Spock. LOOKED him up and down, and despite absolutely knowing it would not be considered impolite if he didnt offer a hand shake, looked at Spock, tall drink of water Spock, Vulcan sensitive hands used as terms of affection Spock, and was like hmmmm absolutely will make this Vulcan shake my hand. AND SPOCK gave like 1 second of thought before he was like yes absolutely here is my hand to hold for you and you only. I AM DECEASED

I’m screaming 😭😂

I am covered in hickies how am I supposed to be a respected scientist looking like this!?!

Normalize kissing other the other scientists with tongue

*walks into the lab and comes out hours later covered in lipstick marks* the collaborative research is going well

hate people who don't like the outfits in old trek. they're literally the height of fashion fuck you

"it's ugly" it fucks, actually. die

star trek heritage post (September 21st, 2022)

2012-2015 Honda Civic

biggest tng fail was not having a spot-centric episode where she explores the enterprise

Dash Thing ™

Episode where an alien threat disables every humanoid on the Enterprise and then there's a Baby's Day Out style sequence of events where Spot makes their way to the bridge and accidentally fires a photon torpedo at the alien ship

or what if Data is the only one still conscious but also incapacitated so he has to pspspspsps Spot through the comms to go to the bridge and fire a photon torpedo at the alien ship

A Vulcan named Stork works at the Terran adoption agency. Parents always request that he be the one to deliver their child to them.

It’s years before anyone explains it to him.

People keep gifting him robes with long white birds on them.

The fun thing is he would understand why people were getting him outfits with storks on them. That’s a word, it’s his name, straightforward. All the humans get him the same gag gift, but like, they’re putting effort in at least. This is a genuinely nice outfit. Stork will be a walking zero-effort pun sometimes, rather than waste a perfectly fine robe.

It’s fine. This is a readily comprehensible human illogic. Exactly the kind of thing he expected from moving to Earth.

Six years in he finds out about the stork bringing babies.

Stork has a good long meditation session about this myth, his name, his job, the outfits, the whole shebang (or whatever Vulcan concept is the equivalent).

And he decides he’s honored by it, in a humanly illogical way.

The humans are asking him to do what is after all his job, and specifically requesting him for the joy his name brings them on top of an already agreeable and satisfying task. He has no objection to engendering positive emotions in others. Harm hastens the heat-death of the universe, Surak teaches, so happiness must logically slow it down. 

Plus, Vulcans of his generation love puns. There were two decades of punning competitions in colleges across the planet. So when he realizes that he is a walking zero-effort pun, and that the humans also love the pun, he is all for it. He is the Joe Cool of the entire Vulcan population in his city. 

And via this pun, the humans are including him in a cherished and traditional myth, by casting him as the literal bringer of life and the expander of families. 

There’s no downside. Stork wears his robes, pins, keychains, and other bird-related tchotchkes with genuine pride. 

YES IT’S BACK ON MY DASH AT LAST

For real though working together with some human social workers, a Vulcan would be an excellent caretaker for children in an adoption center.

Child has a meltdown? Imagine Stork, perfectly calm and unbothered, approaching the kid and saying “You appear quite upset, Eliza. If you would please allow me to relocate you to the ‘bean-bag-chair,’ we can discuss the source of your distress.”

A Vulcan educated in medicine and child psychology would be endlessly patient with a kid with behavioral issues. Stork wouldn’t get or upset or frustrated. After all, these are children with medical and psychological conditions. It would be illogical to blame the child or to not treat them with the appropriate care.

Even if the a little one was having a bad day or was just overtired, Stork wouldn’t get angry. He might even be a calming presence. Any new kids acting out would learn real quick that they’d have better luck trying to arm-wrestle a Klingon than get a rise out of Stork.

Not only that, Vulcans live much longer than humans. Imagine Stork looking virtually unchanged as decades pass. Kids he’d helped years ago would turn up fully grown, maybe there to adopt their own kids, and run into Stork, looking almost exactly as they remember him.

And he’d probably remember them too. “Welcome back, Eliza.”

“…Harm hastens the heat-death of the universe, Surak teaches, so logically happiness must slow it down…”

Will reblog every time it crosses my dash 🖖🏾

Star Trek: The Original Series // S02E06: The Doomsday Machine

l’ve had this idea floating around my brain forever now and i needed to make it real. These are all mostly based on vibes, but i also took some other aspects into consideration, such as the breeds’ characteristics and regions of origin! Prepare for a complete overload of useless cow facts.

I picked this breed for the Captain because of its notably high adaptability and tolerance to disease and rough conditions! I feel like that reflects Kirk‘s tendency to be able to cheese his way out of seemingly hopeless situations for the sake of his ship. They are moderately sized and have a pretty sturdy frame. I thought it’s tawny color exuded the same energy as the „dirty-blonde Iowan cornboy“ vibes Jim gives off :-)

Aubrac cattle come from the south of France and are primarily used as a beef breed, but are alright at milk production as well. Their milk can be used in some French cheeses!

Brafords are a cross between the Brahman and Hereford cattle breeds! The Hereford breed is part of the taurine subspecies of cattle, most likely what you‘d think of when you hear „cow“ if you live in the West. The Brahman breed, however, is a cross between taurine and indicine cattle (also known as Zebus!). Zebus are used primarily in India and tropical areas, and have special adaptations for the heat such as humps on their backs and large dewlaps! Because of their Zebu ancestry, Braford cattle are very resident to high temperature! I thought they were fitting for our favorite country doctor :-D. Also maybe this is just me, but they have that McCoy look in their eyes. I can’t explain it.

Beefalos are just as their name implies, half cattle and half buffalo! (I guess in this weird alternate cow universe Vulcans are buffalos 🦬) They were bred to keep the strength and hardiness of Bison with the milking ability and ease of handling of cattle. Beefalos have very thick coats with fine hair, helping them adapt to cold climates. They also do well in hot climates (such as the hot deserts of Vulcan lol).

My first instinct here was obviously Highland cows because how can you not love those fluffy Scottish beasts??? But Luings called to me and I couldn’t ignore them. They’re also Scottish and pretty fluffy as far as cows go, so I hope they will suffice!! Luings are actually a result of breeding Scottish Shorthorn breeds with Highland cattle. They are docile and quite long-lived. They have good weather instincts and know how to find shelter in wet conditions.

I had such a hard time deciding for Uhura!! I was originally going to go for Boran cattle because of their prominence in Kenya but I was just totally drawn to the elegance of the Red Fulani cows! I think they‘re so pretty, and their tall horns can sorta remind you of Uhura‘s tall beehive hair if you are willing to reach haha. They‘re from the Sanga subspecies of cattle, the indigenous cattle of Sub-Saharan Africa. They‘re a dual-purpose breed that can be used either for milk or meat, and can survive in scarce conditions.

You know I had to give my boy a Russian cow >:-) The Kalmyk breed was brought to Russia in the 1600s from the Dzungaria region. They get their name from the Kalmyk ethic group that brought them to Russia. They‘re medium sided and compact (*cough* short *cough*). They have a characteristic low dewlap and somewhat high shoulders which accounts for the fact that Chekov is kinda perpetually hunched.

Japanese Black cattle are one of the 6 native Japanese cattle breeds and one of the 4 breeds used for Wagyu beef. Fun fact!! If you ever wondered what „Wagyu“ means, it’s the literal term for „Japanese Cow“ with „gyu“ meaning cow and „wa“ being the prefix for Japanese! Not all Japanese cattle are considered Wagyu though. It gets confusing. Wagyu is widely considered the best beef you can buy, which reflects how Sulu is awesome and the best.

Absolutely in tears

so when straight people watch star trek are they just like not paying attention? i swear sometimes it feels like we’re watching a different show, what do you mean you missed all the gay yearning? it’s practically the entire show

I’m really in love with the SNW dress uniform design, and can’t help but wonder how the TOS casts would look in them. So… Yes, That’s how it goes. 🥂✨

[ Supports me with Ko-fi ☕ ]

if i made a post of star trek characters as different cattle breeds would that be weird and off-putting or is that the type of neurodivergent swag that people on tumblr can vibe with