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Dumbass mode engaged! :D

@spiritwolf551

//She/they • 18 • Bisexual • haha adhd and autism go BRRR- • into Project Arrhythmia, JSAB, Cookie Run, and Hollow Knight • trying to get better at drawing and editing • chronic dumbass • header art and pfp by me! :D//
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The reason Dracula crawled down from the walls of his castle instead of using the doors like a normal person is because he’s concerned that if he goes out the front door Jonathan will slip out between his legs like a cat

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public service announcement

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I keep getting people asking about bowling on this post so I’m just gonna repost this drawing I made on Twitter

How did her grandmother fill 4 vases?

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She was a very large woman. Easily 12 feet tall.

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then why the heck is her family not tall too?!?!

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Pop-pop was very small so it canceled out.

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This was originally part of its own post, but I figured I should add it here so all the Bawling/Balling/Bowling family lore can be in one place, sorry if you’ve seen it before.

So 12-foot-tall Grandma was actually a star basketball player back in the 70s for a very brief period of time– her career as a professional athlete only lasted between October and December of 1972.

The reason for this was because John Basketball, the inventor of the sport, realized that the WNBA had not yet been established, so he asked her to please sit out until the Basketball Elders got a chance to make a space in the sport for women. Grandma thought this was pretty bullshit, but she decided to leave the NBA anyway because nobody could keep up with her balling, and the sport had lost its novelty.

After she settled down in her new-but-less-exciting career as an astronaut, she met Pop-pop on the moon. It turns out that he had been a big fan of her and had recorded all her matches on U-matic, and had fallen in love with the sport.

Anyway things happened, the two fell in love and got married, and Grandma and Pop-pop had a beautiful family together. She became especially close with one of her granddaughters, Ballin’ Jessie, who inherited her propensity for basketball. The two would often dunk hoops with each other, and developed trash-talk as their love language.

Pop-pop also had an interest in the sport, but his height had made it difficult for him to keep up with the others. In fact, he had actually lost about a foot in height as a result of being compressed by Earth’s stronger gravitational pull. Despite this, Pop-pop was never really bothered by this because of his exceptional love for Grandma, who was always more than happy to lend him a helping hand. 

do interact if: you have a hyphenated last name, you're an older sibling, you have a cat, art was your favorite subject, you have kissed your friends, you really like at least one field of science, watch nature documentaries, you drank from the hose, you've been involved with the production of a musical but you never listened to hamilton, have at least one stick-n-poke, drink coffee every day, you have a favorite houseplant, prefer little and big spoon equally, have a dietary restriction, have dyed your hair green, or have been somewhere that you don't speak the language

Your more recent post, "who up pissing in they pants" hasn't been doing quite as well as it could. We recommend broadening the demographic audience, and changing the style of the post to a call to action to drive engagement, e.g. "Does anyone else think pissing their pants is really important?"

so my parents speak czech decently, but when they were learning it they were obsessed with the words hedgehog and baby jesus. both words sound similar to each other; "ježek" and "ježíšek" respectively. They used to get them mixed up in their heads all the time. but even after they eventually figured out the difference, as a joke they would still call the baby Jesus a hedgehog. and every time they saw a hedgehog, they would act like it's the most venerable thing in the world and refer to it as the blessed baby Jesus.

my dad pointing to a hedgehog: “ježíšek!!!”

my mom, absolutely fucking going along with it: “little ježíšek !!! beautiful ježíšek!!! who else is worthy of our praise??”

I'm a native czech speaker and I assure you 90% of native czech kids also mix them up and many adults continue with the joke

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Same in Poland

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You Are Not Immune To fanart of characters who die in canon that has them alive and well, with scars from the wound that originally killed them

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ok the thing about the new dnd movie is it's really good but it's even better when you're sitting between two boys who care too much because my little brother (13, autistic about monsters and magic) would tell me something really cool and then my older brother (20, film snob) would mutter something about the movie being really really weird

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my little brother, furiously tugging on my sleeve: those are displacer beasts they can make illusions that make them appear closer or further

my older brother, squinting at the screen: is that a venus flytrap panther

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i need everyone to understand that my older brother also plays dnd and has autism, he's just not autistic about dnd.