There was a little girl who tried to swim. Her family and friends stood on the shore line. Waiting for her, waving to her. “Come on it’s not that hard. Everybody goes through this. We all made it. You just have to try harder”
But no matter what the little girl did, no matter how hard she kicked and tired to swim. She couldn’t get closer to the shore. The waves only seemed to get bigger. She was drowning. “Your just drowning for attention” “your sister was able to swim to shore”.
She finally was a little closer to shore. It was so hard to get that small distance but she was proud of herself for trying. “That’s it?” “When I was your age I swam so much farther than that” “that’s not enough to get you to shore” “maybe if you spent more time learning to swim you would be better” But no one taught her to swim. She had to teach herself to swim as she went. Every wave she had to learn a new way because her way wasn’t good enough.
But the waves persisted and her family and friends got tired of waiting.
That little girl who tried so hard, pushed herself mentally and emotionally, began to sink under the waves. She couldn’t keep up, she failed over and over again. She was drowning and struggling. But all they did was stand on that shore line and say “maybe if you tired harder you wouldn’t be drowning.” What was the point? She didn’t care anymore because what was the point in trying. She’s only fail again. So, she sank. Giving into the waves of life. ‘I don’t care if they judge me for drowning, I’m tired’. She thought as the the world around her got darker and darker. Then she died.
But they’ll stand at her funeral, saying all these nice things. “She was an excellent swimmer” “She always worked harder to fight against the waves” “She always seemed so happy out in the currents” “We never knew she was drowning”
I know the truth. I know the pain of that little girl. I know how she felt. I was her……
I’m still here….far under the waves. I still hear their laughter and stories though it all seems so far away. Like maybe I could reach the surface some day. But it’s so hard and I can’t swim anymore. So I lay here, on the bottom of the ocean, watching the waves crash over.