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Warning: Mad Scientist in Training!

@spiritofthespork

A nerd who has no idea what they're doing. Currently obsessed with Marvel, mythology, Critical Role, and Dungeons and Dragons.

here's my hot take about my generation and people younger than me (I'm 22 years old)

The reason current teenagers and people in their really early 20s are conservative on accident and have such shitty takes on the internet is because our generation was much more sheltered than previous generations and because we were raised to be ok with orwellian servailence and that is 100% the fault of our parents, Reagan Era kidnapping panics, and the rise of technology all coming together to prevent us from doing the sketchy shit that sends parents into panic mode but which is also completely fundemental to childhood development. If your parents had even a crumb of money to their name and even a shred of free time they started tracking your phone as soon as it was possible to. I did not experience this because my parents are actively trying to live like it's the 1990s and still have not gotten cell phones of their own, and did not let me have one until I was 18 years old and it was no longer their choice, but literally over half of my friends in middle and high school had their phones tracked by their parents at some point or other, and we would occasionally find this out, not because their parents told them, but when we were trying to do the aforementioned sketchy shit and their parent's car would pull up. And I would, like a reasonable person after finding this out, encourage my friends to just leave their phones at home, and their response would be "What if I get kidnapped" or "My parents are just trying to keep me safe"

This in my estimation has lead to a combination of kids being terminally online because they do have internet access and are better at deleting search history than their parents think they are, but don't have the freedom to go out and do shit without their parents' knowledge or consent, so they have the most privacy from the people who control their lives while they're on the internet, and kids not having the real world experiences they should have, not knowing how to connect with other people irl, not feeling comfortable leaving the house because of the horror story lies their parents told them to make them ok with the surveillance they were inflicting on their kids. Kids these days are growing up in the fucking panopticon when they should be out in the woods playing with knives or stealing cigarettes from their older sibling and going out to an empty parking lot to smoke them or whatever and that shit is sticking with them into adulthood. Things that were "tee hee we could get in trouble isn't this so fun and daring" in the 1990s and 2000s have become in the 2010s and 2020s things that are "If I do that without texting my parents some sort of lie to excuse where my location is my parent's car will pull up and I will get grounded for the next two weeks."

Like even when I was 19 I had a 16 year old friend who would volunteer their time at a food shelf and that's how we knew each other. We would talk about dungeons and dragons together, and the game store was 4 blocks from the food shelf. One day we left the food shelf earlier than they had told their parents they would and they got punished for that. We were literally just going to look at dungeons and dragons miniatures and dice, which was self evident if you could see where we started and how far we walked and where too. I have to assume that this isn't uncommon. It's wrong, but it's not uncommon.

Ok it has become apparent to me that people do not understand what I mean by conservative on accident.

Nobody my age is voting republican. Let's be clear on that. With the exception of a small minority of gamer gaters and people who were raised in actual cults most people my age are either commies or good liberals who votes straight blue down the ticket. This is because of the greta thunberg effect. We're all afraid of dying of thirst because there's no water anymore at the age of 35. Wealthy white children are no longer safe with the republican party which has become less of a political party and more of a death cult, and white children are less wealthy than they used to be (I specify white because POC by in large never voted for the party of the southern strategy for obvious reasons). We as a generation are so insanely blue that they're trying to raise the voting age to 25 about it.

This liberalism and party affiliation doesn't preclude them from being conservative on accident. What I mean by that is... Well

No kink at pride is a great example. The assumption that pride should exist at all makes them think that they're immune to conservative logic but they're still trying to enforce a dominant ideology onto a minority group. That person who made the tweet about how you shouldn't have sex in houses where there are children in the other room and if you can't avoid it you're a sex addict. That's a great example of like straight up puritanism coming out of the mouth of someone who proports themselves to be a leftist

If you ever see a discourse that feels like an obvious psyop as an adult and you can't understand why these supposed leftist youths are falling for it it's because that kid has never had sex in the woods and had to try to buy plan b under their parent's nose. My generation is dumb about sex. We're dumb about drugs. We're dumb about theft. We moralize literally everything. We're so dumb about stranger danger that we never learned how to community organize so while the vast vast majority of us are crushed by existential dread about debt and climate change but we never do anything about it because we just don't know how to organize because we're raised to see everyone else as a threat and we never went to or organized parties as teens because our parents would always know and stop us.

They managed to invent a generation that hates capitalism but fully buys into individualism and who is supportive of queer people and way less monogamous than previous generations but who still buys into the base assumptions of the nuclear family and thinks sex is evil. The levels of politics going on here are way weirder and stupider and more complicated than "young people vote republican and watch Fox news"

I've never seen anybody explain it so well

The Hawke Family Portraits through the years. 

like this?

Omg thank you

干得好~

I headcannon that once the Hawkes move into the old Amell estate the companions slowly just start hanging out there more and more often. Like the Hanged Man is still their ‘headquarters’ but like one day Hawks invites one of them over for dinner (probs one of the elves cause they’re worried the elves don’t eat enough, esp Fenris). Maybe the next week Leander insists on inviting Varric as well since he was the one who got them on the expedition, and it just kinda snowballs from there until it’s like a weekly or every other week thing to have dinner at the Hawks estate. And then when Leandra is murdered, all but Hawke’s LI kinda give them space for a bit to mourn until their LI realizes that Hawks can’t stand the silence that has fallen over the estate and it’s almost family dinner night. So all of the companions hatch a plan and break in to the Amell estate (so they claim, as if a few of them don’t already have keys) and make a giant loud mess in the kitchen. So when Hawks comes down they’re all like ‘what, like we’re Not gonna have dinner night? In this family? When you obviously need us?’. During act 3 between the companions, Sandal and his dad, and Orana, the Amell estate is never quiet for too long.

tldr: the hawkes totally have everyone over for dinner on a regular basis and the found family is strong with this group

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...Backpack.

Why is backpack not an option? I use mine for work, and for casual I just put shit in my pockets.

@hazel2468 Bookbag and backpack are the same thing.

tumblr isn't ready to see all the different bags I own but there are a lot of them and they are almost all Big And Full Of Things

Now that I’ve played DA 2 with both Bethany and Carver, oh boy I’ve got some thoughts. Mostly that I wish Bethany had a personality. But also about how Hawke’s feelings of responsibility for the family changes how he interacts with both of them depending on who makes it to Kirkwall. Like for Carver, the kid is gonna go out and get into trouble anyways, and Hawke knows that he wont always be there to protect him. So Hawke goes out of his way to bring Carver along on missions, with the idea that his brother is safest where Hawke can keep an eye on him and protect him from making dumb decisions. But with Bethany, I dont know if its cause she’s a mage or a girl or has no personality/is pretty passive, but you can feel the pressure and what Hawke thinks he is supposed to do to take care of his family is to leave her at home all the time.

Especially before leaving for the Deep Roads, when Leandra comes to chew out Hawke about bringing their sibling, with Bethany my Hawke agrees and leaves her home because in that group he is the one who takes on all the risk for the family. He is the one who fights and gets hurt and does the dirty work it takes to take care of them. But with Carver, while the pressure on Hawke to lead and take care of the family is still there, I feel like its framed in such a way that in his mind, Hawke has to bring Carver. Otherwise Carver will be angry and jealous and act out while Hawke is gone, so better let him tag along.

And its at once very fascinating cause like the different dynamics and stuff but also SOOOOO frustrating b/c it feels like it only felt different because of the writers being mysoginistic. Like Bethany just accepts her fate when the templars come??? And I’m like yall we have fought more templars than this, we could take them out no problem, why are we even entertaining the though of letting them take her??? Just fireball them?? I would understand if she had like a guilt complex about how being a mage hurts the family or something, or just any indicator of a personality or motives or inner life.

tldr: They did Bethany Hawke dirty by making her basically ‘Passive Wallflower 2′ with no personality. She doesn’t even seem to resent anything that happens to her be it Hawke and Leandra constantly hiding her and acting like she cant take care of herself or the when the Fucking Templars take here to Fucking Mage Hell Prison.

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DAY 15

GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15

You can only reblog this 12 times a year

Make the most of that

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Every month I reblog this and every month I’m baffled that it’s already the 15th.

I’m scheduling this for every month

Absolutely losing it at this Reddit post

And the update

She buttered Jorts

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The outrage summed in a perfect Tweet:

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FINALLY

I’ve been collecting the best Jorts tweets and waiting until the moment he showed up on my dash to post them. So here you are, the curated best of the past, oh, day or so:

Some additional quality memes from the past 24 hours:

Meanwhile, OP has continued tracking trash can mishaps on twitter:

And a quality photo of this sweet potato:

An update for those not following Jorts’ twitter account, starting with a transcription of the Wellerman cover:

Link to the lovely video

There once was a ship that put to sea The name of the ship was the Jorts and Jean The ship she rolled and her closet doors closed Oh no, where’s Jorts? Oh no!
Soon may the smarter cat come To save poor Jorts so orange and dumb One day when the butterin’s done We’ll take our leave and go
When Pam came on, she had a plan To teach our Jorts about garbage cans Pam meant well but her plans fell flat When HR said, “don’t butter the cat”
Soon may the smarter cat come To save poor Jorts so orange and dumb One day when the butterin’s done We’ll take our leave and go
Now Jean the smart cat comes She saves poor Jorts so orange and dumb Now that the butterin’s done We’ll take our leave and go
We’ll take our leave and go
We’ll take our leave and go

Additional quality memes:

A recipe for Buttered Jorts:

Recent Jorts activities:

And some very wise words from the cat himself:

This is the largest Jorts post I found before I decided to stop, and combines a lot of memes in one convenient package.

Along with cats, of course. Smartly done!

The person running the Jorts Twitter is using it to promote unions, which is awesome.

FNALLY! All the premium Jorts content in one place!

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cat laziness is so contagious. you'll see your cat flopped on its back in your bed a completely comfy cozy baby and you'll be like. you're right. you make a compelling argument.

Cassandra: the conclave is destroyed, the Divine is dead, there’s a giant rift in the sky with demons falling out, and we’re pretty sure you and your glowing hand are responsible

Inquisitor, who just woke up:

It’s funny to imagine Inquisitor Lavellan as someone raised completely In The Forest with absolutely no knowledge of human life outside of their clan like

Cassandra: did you murder the Divine?

Inky: what’s a divine?

Vivienne: so, what are your opinions on Circles?

Inky: uh… they’re one of my favourite shapes

Josephine: inquisitor, I need you to look at these reports

Inky: *cannot read* they look lovely

A Horse:

Inky: that Mabari looks weird

Mother Giselle: Maker set his gaze upon you

Inky: *looking at Sera and Dorian* did he now?