The berry pickers creed

I will leave unripened berries untouched

A ripe berry need only be negotiated with, not fought

I will reasses my surroundings after every step, for my new perspective could reveal a berry patch previously hidden to me

The plant gets excited and happy when a barry is picked

The bug is not to be feared or killed, but gently celebrated, for it facilitated in the creation of the beloved berrys

I will not allow myself to be bullied by sharp thicket and I will retrieve even the most protected barry

*MWAH* ♡~

You just got kissied!! RB to totally kissy your friends!! <3

*forehead kissy on my mutuals because i love them a lot*

I just. Saw an ad. And read all the way through it because I assumed it was a shit post

There is no joke. Only dragon pregnancy

One of the really fun and interesting things about writing a polyamorous romance as someone who is ambiamorous/polyamorous is finding new ways to make sure the narrative hits the expected genre beats without just sort of... mushing it into a pre-existing monogamous romance mold, which is what I'm afraid happens a lot of the time.

Trust me, it was my job in the publishing house to make them fit that mold. I hated it.

Reading other poly-centric romances, I can always somewhat tell when someone is writing polyamory from a sexual fantasy aspect (zero shade; I'm here for all the group sex) without actually considering how it functions as a relationship dynamic, which can often come off as... well.

It's lacking for me as a romance.

Erotica-wise, it's fine. But it misses the romantic beats for me that I want as a polyamorous-leaning person.

There's so much emphasis on the polycule and never the individual dyads within the larger relationship.

For example, in a triad, there are actually four relationships to handle.

The dyad between A + B. The dyad between A + C. The dyad between B + C. And the overarching relationship between A + B + C.

With monogamous-leaning authors or authors that've been pressed into conforming to the pre-existing genre beats, there's a tendency to treat the relationship as a homogenous mass where everything is fair and equal, and you treat all your partners the exact same way.

And I get it. It's easier to write everything as peachy-keen and to have external conflict be resolved with either acceptance or a brave confrontation.

But it doesn't always land for me as someone who wants to see my style of love represented in the genre.

In healthy polyamory, either closed or open, each relationship is unique in its own way. Taking the example of a triad again, the way A acts with C likely differs from how A acts with B.

And that's a good thing!

Because C might not want the same things as B, so trying to treat them both the exact same is a surefire way to make sure someone isn't getting their needs met, and that will lead to conflict.

Polyamory isn't striving for equality between partners but rather equity.

What are your individual needs, and how do I meet them, as well as meet the needs of my other partner(s)? What do you want from the larger relationship as a whole? How do we accommodate everyone without making someone feel neglected or uncomfortable? How do we show this in the narrative? How do we make sure character A isn't just treating B the same as C in every interaction? Do they ever fall into that pitfall? How do they remedy it?

It seems like common sense when you write it out like that, but it's a major pitfall I see time and time again. The characters never alternate their approach between partners, if there's any focus on the individuals at all.

The other major telltale thing I've noticed is that taking time to be with one partner is seen as a step down from the "goal" of the greater polycule.

The narrative is framed in such a way that they might start out with individual dates, but the end goal of the romance is to eventually be together 100% of the time all the time, and wanting individual time alone with any one partner is somehow "lesser."

Which is the goal of romance in monogamy, but it's not the goal of romance in polyamory.

Granted, you do need to end on a Happy Ever After or Happy For Now for it to fit the genre requirement. And a nice way of tying that up is to have everyone together at the end as a happy polycule all together all at once. I'm not disputing that as a narrative tool. I'm just pointing out that there's a tendency to present those moments as the sum total of the relationship when in actuality, there are multiple relationships that need to end happily ever after.

The joy of polyamorous love is the joy of multitudes. It's the joy of experiencing new things, both as individuals and as a polycule. If you're not taking care of the individual dyads, however, your polycule is going to crash and burn. You cannot avoid that. So why, then, is there such avoidance of it in stories meant to appeal to us?

Is it simply inexperience on behalf of the author? Or is it that they're not actually being written for us? Is it continued pressure to meet certain genre beats in a largely monogamous-centric genre? All of the above?

Either way, I'm having fun playing around with it and doing all the things we were warned against in the publishing house.

I'm having fun with Nathan and Vlad enjoying their own private dynamic that is theirs and theirs alone. I'm having fun with Ursula and Nathan being so careful and vulnerable around each other. I'm absolutely 100% here for the chaos of Vlad and Ursula without a chaperone. And I'm here for the chaos of Vlad and Ursula together and Nathan's fond, loving eye roll as he trails after them, too enamored to tell either of them no because where would the fun in that be...

Anyway. Don't mind me. Just getting my thoughts out while everyone else is in bed.

i'm such a friend lover. i genuinely believe that my friends are the coolest funniest loveliest most ridiculously joyous people out there! im biased as hell!! i think theyre all rad! and the universe just so happened to slip all these beloved people into my orbit! and vice versa!! wtf!

Nightly Bedrock :)

genuinely obsessed with the grimace milkshake meme I hope it's got the McDonald's marketing team locked in a board room biting their nails desperately trying to figure out if this is positive press or not

how could they possibly have predicted this

I literally can't stop watching these

😭😭😭😭😭

oscars when

grimace.....what you inspire in people...

NOOOOO

when gerard way sings "the broken, the beaten, and the damned" and when kermit the frog sings "the lovers, the dreamers, and me" they're talking about the same people btw

“Resurrection”

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

You write all this and don't even say the fucking word woman and then in the tags you say "We support sex workers" You're just as fucking bad as everyone else.

oh, i see you and a few people like you are struggling with this content. no worries. let's try to work through this together. If you put on your good reading eyes and big thinking cap, try to go back over the post and see if i do or do not use the word "woman" or "women." (HINT: I might also use man). then use these Key Reading Notes to guide your interpretation: - do you think it is possible that any person can experience the results of a puritanical culture that degrades and dehumanizes normal human behavior? (THINK: Taylor Lautner was 15 when grown adults begged him to be their husband, their hands shaking, tears in their eyes. Did he have to use the word "woman" in his experience? - how can society trap sex workers in a horrible loop of both scrutinizing their experience while also demanding excellent performance? how is a video of someone in ropes only okay if it is selling perfume or a car? why are artists on this site blocked by the porn ban, but none of the bots are? what conditions are we creating for victims to come forward? how are we preventing abuse in the industry that is obviously making a few specific people a lot of money? (KEY NOTE: is it only women in porn? is there a reason that when you picture pornography, you assume only women must be present? it's a visible connection to your misogyny: there is often also a man in the scene. that man is also a sex worker. why might it be that you were picturing the woman on her knees?) - who are you fighting here? (NOTE: with your hands up, flinching, you try to devour the world because the anger in your heart burns louder than the kindness. this will annihilate you. you sit and you scream and it makes no difference. you throw your hands against the wall and it changes nothing. where is the word woman? here, right here, here you go: woman. woman. woman. was it worth it? does it help? does it save any one person? elicit any real response? make that wretched white heart of yours burn a little lower?

- when was the last time you actually reached out and helped a stranger? the last time you actually invested effort in your community? the last time you looked someone in the eyes and said - oh shit. we are both people. and we both deserve our humanity.

Useful information

- A Psalm for the Wild-Built, Becky Chambers // kagonekoshiro

do you ever form close relationships with people in your dreams and then feel a little sad when you wake up

i had a son in one of my dreams, he was 3 or 4, i loved him so much, i don’t remember his name but i remember loving him so much, and then i woke up and he was gone

Hey um what the FUCk

tldr: boy have i ever

"IF YOU BUILD IT, WE WILL BURN IT"

[VD: A black person stands at a podium. They say, "There is no war on police. There is no such thing as a blue life. The thin blue line is a tantrum of immature and petulant adult children. If your egos are too fragile to accept the rightful criticism of your tactics, then quit. If you can't do your job without somebody constantly hovering over your shoulder, then say it. We'll hold your timid hands at every step. You've already forfeited any career aspirations you may have had. We live here, y'all have made it abundantly clear that you all just work here. If accountability makes you uncomfortable, go somewhere else. Atlanta has no place for you. The police have shown time and time again that the training they've been given isn't interested in de-escalation, conflict resolution, or preservation of life. If I had 57 bullets, I could assassinate every member in this chamber with three shots each and still have nine bullets left over. I dare any single one of you to tell me that you believe that is justified, reasonable or acceptable as standard operating procedure. Wars have been fought over, much less. What's the difference between a bullet and a cop? If a bullet kills someone, you'll know it's been fired. If you have a problem, call the police. Then you'll have two problems: money or violence. You seem to only respond to these two categories using one to beget the other. Can't even get the correct dates on your signed off warrants, but expect us to believe that you have the competency and due diligence for a 100 million dollar project that we have told you repeatedly that we do not need and we do not want.The May 31 deployment of militarized police units on a residential street to raid a bail fund on suspicion of white collar financial crimes is tyrannical. Tyrannical entities must be demolished by any means necessary. You have the option to resign willingly, be cast out politically, or be removed violently. The choice you make today on this bill will be inextricably linked to the method that will be chosen. You will vote no. You will vote no. You will vote no. All of you will vote no today and you will re-plant every tree you uprooted a hundred times over. Those who make peaceful revolution impossible make violent revolution inevitable. If you build it, we will burn it." End VD.]

and the universe reaches out with little babe hands and says hello!! hello i missed you!!