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i literally haven’t talked to some of my best friends since graduation. and i don’t know how to feel about it. i don’t feel as shitty as i thought i would but? it is still super shitty….. but i also don’t feel like it’s my fault at all. i tried to reach out so many times but it just doesn’t feel good to keep trying when the responses are flat and 1-2 words or just ignored completely. idk just thoughts

in other news! this girl i met abroad through my friend emily, maggie rogers, just started getting really popular this week because pharrell listened to one of her songs and loved it and i’m like! i know a soon 2 be celeb! she’s so kind too like she literally met me once and then let me and abby stay at her apartment in paris. i’m so happy 4 her! go like her on fb if u don’t already, she’s super talented and sweet

that’s all

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OK 3 YEARS LATER AND MAGGIE HAS BLOWN UP!!! I’m shaken but honestly. she’s still super talented and sweet and go stream heard it in a past life if you haven’t already been listening to it on repeat like I have

i’m rly high rn

when i started this blog nearly N9NE years ago, i never thought i would make friends online. i just wanted to keep in touch with friends i already had from atlanta. and i did do that for awhile i guess

i remember my first theme had a galaxy background with transparent black boxes. super square and ugly of me tbh! my first post was an alice in wonderland gif from photobucket lmfao and my url was perts-buh. a lot of supernatural (speaking of which, i ran into jensen ackles and jared padalecki over the weekend, how fucking full circle is that) and harry potter...and just posting for and with my friends. but then i started posting from Flickr (LOLOL) as we all do. those were the days of tumblarity!! recommending blogs officially, changing ur theme weekly, threatening to delete every other month

anyway, i started moving into posting film photography and following other film blogs and I think it was late 2010 when we all really started following each other. big 1s - lucas, blua, mahnoor, chelsea, conflate (this truly felt like A list)

it was pretty well-defined group, upwards of 100 people who all followed each other in similar configurations. and at that point, i thought i would be using tumblr forever. in my mind, i was like how can it be that all of us strangers are talking / tinychatting everyday and one day just wake up and pretend we don’t know each other?

but that’s exactly what happened. we graduated high school, we met up in person, we went to college, we made good friend groups, started serious relationships, graduated college, started working, traveling, etc

most of us stopped talking. a few of us still do, even fewer are very close friends. but we still follow each other wherever we can on the internet. twitter, instagram, facebook mostly. and so we’re still keeping up, even if not by our former means. we migrated elsewhere and so nothing really feels different, nothing felt like a seismic shift. we just adapted to communicating differently, and nobody knows when or how it really happened

i’m so fucking grateful for my ex (tumblr.com) !!!!! thank u, next

haven’t been active lately sorry :( been using peach for most of my life updates if u wanna follow that tho! i’ve been living in my first apartment since june 2017 and i’m moving out at the end of the summer. i’ll miss it very much but I know I’m ready to move on to better things...this place felt safe and secure and I don’t think I need that anymore I think I need to feel uneasy and scared to start feeling passionate about things again. i’m in a freakin rut! I turn 24 in 19 days. I got a tumblr when I was 15? What the hell lmao time is literally FLYING and it’s so scary!!!! But I want to be scared!!!