“if he be mr. hyde, i shall be mr. seek” is such a funny line i can’t believe robert louis stevenson actually wrote that in the actual original dr. jekyll and mr. hyde in the actual year of 1885
me: there is no way this is true *pirates a pdf real quick to check it out* WHAT?!
what
A cancan of coke, if you will
and as he stares into the sky, there are twice as many stars as usual
all these videos of people in california walking around playing in flood waters noooooooooooo you don’t enter flood water for the same reason you don’t breathe in wildfire smoke: you don’t know what’s in there but trust that it’s everything that water could find before it got to you
Compilation of people holding things that shouldn't be held, please add more if you have any
@is-the-snake-video-cute looks like a coral snake (blunt nose) but double checking- is it ?
That's indeed a coral snake, good ID!!
This thread is full of the luckiest people on the planet, I think. Also goes to show just how calm even venomous snakes are - coral snakes rarely bite unless you're actively harassing them - and how important it is to make sure your ID as non-venomous is 1000% certain before picking up any wild snake.
sibling relationships are so strange... like i love you. you will never understand me in a way that matters. we are the same person in drastically different ways. we are sewn together. we don't talk. we are attached at the hip. you wish i was never born. can i call you. let's eat together. i forgive you. etc
i don't have enough photos of you on my phone to make one your contact picture. we got the same tattoo completely by coincidence. why do you always get to be mario. i love the meals you cook. we live in different universes. you can stay at my house if you need. we have never been friends. you are more important to me than anyone on this earth
I hate calling in sick I don't want to inform anyone about my abnormal bowel movements
I love it. I call them up and say hey bossman I'm camped out on the shitter today yeehaw
you are so beautiful in every way
We will get married on a windswept cliff and the dinner will be easily digestible
so embarrassing when i forget im checking someone's blog and i start scrolling through and liking and reblogging shit as if it's just my dash. it feels like wandering into someone else's apartment and not noticing and making myself lunch
reblog if i can wander into your apartment (blog) and make myself lunch (like and reblog as if it's my dash)
hate bluetooth headphones that talk. you are a machine you may NOT speak to me
when headphones beep sadly because their battery is low: oh you poor thing :( let me plug you in :(
when headphones say "battery low" in a human voice: Who Are You Stop Interrupting My Music
This is literally my favorite tweet of all time. It’s so powerful.
She Freaken Forgor Me
i’m gonna be honest i didn’t even read the tweet because i had to hit reblog too fast when i saw this guy’s name is “i like hitting police because i am homosexual”
my toddler is 3 years old and wont eat anything other than fine porterhouse steaks and sweet port wine
you need to discipline your child. port is a horrible choice for the main course and wildly clashes with a rich béarnaise.
dude hes three….
And uncultured. Get a new child
Nervously, I pull from the tarot deck. It’s the Nine of Clocks. My fate is revealed to me: It’s my bedtime, and I gotta go to sleeps
