Spencer August (they/them)

w. wait fuck. this is the first time I've heard this. hold on I need to sit down. I need a second. this shatters my worldview just a little bit h. hold on

im so obsessed with riz gukgak and im so normal about him. he's the first asexual and aromantic character ive ever seen. he's the only bad kid that is explicitly described by other characters as attractive. murph said he has the same hair as timothee chalamet. he got drunk tattoos after an exchange trip. he has conspiracy boards. he stopped sleeping when he was nine years old and his dad died. his hands are bloody from digging 'cause if he stops he'll have to face the fact that his dad isn't coming home. he brought a gun to his first day of school. he's saved the world twice. he lives in a one bedroom apartment with his mom. he's nicknamed the ball. he shot their gym teacher in the head. his best friend is a millionaire and he regularly eats dinner from the trash. he had to watch his parent say their family was just a burden. his mom is a law student. he's been to hell.

local gang of dnd players intimidate and viciously bully game show host sam reich, threatening to push his ass down the stairs like he's a 90-year-old grandma in a retirement home. more at 8

hang on I’m trying to see something

don’t tell me the name of your pet, just tell me in the tags the name you call them that’s got nothing to do with their actual name

Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me.

I know there is a lot of discourse (tm) around this right now but listen to me

sometimes you do just have to lie to children.

If, when my toddler is, you know, toddling around saying “mama? Big ball?”

If I were lean down and say “unfortunately the big beach ball for some reason fills you with such an unadulterated rage that is beyond human comprehension that you scream until you pass out, so mama had to remove the beach ball from the premises until you can better regulate your emotions” she would simply stare at me like I had 3 heads full of equal betrayal.

So, for now, instead “big ball went night night!”

Please understand when I say “removed the ball from the premises” I mean I popped it in a fit of exhausted confusion. I murdered the beach ball.

See I’ve lied to you all too and it was better this way.

you can’t just leave this in the tags etc.

You can’t be funnier then me on my own posts, I’m in tears from laughter

They should remove voice acting from the legend of Zelda series so I can rename the main character Lonk again

The old games are hyped up more than they deserve but they are good because you can name the elf boy Gregory if you want to.

I usually call him Lonk.

Unfortunately, this will require reblogs.

I want the mcelroys to do an episode of dropouts breaking news so bad it would be so funny justin wouldn’t be able to get a word out he’d be wheezing the whole time

saw Barbie today and I’m glad to report that based on his performance as (and dedication to the role of) Ken, Ryan Gosling would be more than willing to portray Billy from Taz Amnesty in the live action adaptation that exists only in my mind

The poll feature really took off because it taps into tumblr's favorite activity: being extremely opinionated about things that don't matter

WE FUCKING DID IT ‼️ (the whole interview) (the shorter clip)

wallace gromited so that chicken run. is this something

well you can’t say i didn’t try ❤️

i’m in spain rn and i said wallace gromited so that chicken run to my friend on the bus and the woman in front of us looked back at us then pulled out english duolingo

This is akin all those hot takes about the 2k bug being an hoax:

"Remember when they told us every computer was going to crash on 1/1/01 and there would be chaos and then nothing happened?"

Yeah, I remember. And I'm sure every programmer and sysadmin that contributed the billion person/hour global effort to prevent it also remembers.

No one talks about acid rain anymore, either. And that's a very good thing.

see also START and START II, which significantly reduced nuclear stockpiles

International cooperation is actually so effective that most people don’t even notice it happening, and then erroneously believe it can’t solve anything.

Fixing issues before they develop into actual disasters is such an underappreciated thing it hurts at all levels.

We don't talk about acid rain because there isn't any more acid rain because when acid rain started happening and we learned that the cause was mainly sulphur oxide and carbon monooxide from car exhausts, countries all over the world made it a law that car companies had to produce cars that produced less exhaust with better effectivenes (burning the fuel all the way to CO2 instead of the halfassed CO) and oil rafineries to remove the sulphur from the gasoline in the first place.

We don't talk about computers crashing because of the turn of the century, because thousands of programmers worked very hard to write updates and patches for Every Single Program humanity as a whole used back in 1999 and then somehow managed to failtest, distribute, and update every single device and system, be it an online or offline one before the midnight of the 1st january of 2000.

On a much smaller scale, no one ever commenta or notices cleaners and housekeepers doing their job - be it at home or at whole buildings - because they always make sure that there's nothing to notice. But don't be fooled - at any point of your life you are one week of them not doing away from swimming in trash and filth with nothing to eat and nothing clean to wear. Only then you would notice.

Now it's time to do that thing again and make sure that we don't kill our whole planetary ecosystem within the next century.

I gave you Ango, but I didn’t give you the woman that started me doing these sound cuts

[Audio transcript: Short clips of Lucretia from The Adventure Zone - Balance, as voiced by Griffin McElroy. Lucretia has a deep voice and very dry, ‘not surprised by any bullshit’ inflection.

“This is the /nightmare/ scenario.” “They just run right off the goddamn thing.” “Hot diggity shit–”

“Once you pop, the time control… don’t stop.” “We fired you out of a cannon.”

“That’s /goofy/ talk.” “It’s been a bit. Stressful, for the past, /ohhhhh/… like ssseven, eight years?”

“[Clapping twice] Davenport!”

“You goof ‘cause you’re a goofer.” “You can’t just poop out a rock.”

“/Booyah./”

“Would you rather spend like twenty minutes buying shorts again, orrr…?”

“(Loudly, annoyed) Davenport, read the room!”

“I particularly liked, uh, when you ripped the arms off that poor helpless robot–” “I mean geezy creezy.”

”Pringles!” “You look like Jeffy, from ‘Family Circus’.” (The others laugh in response.)

“That is a baller cookie.”

“(Talking very fast) Very-quickly-cut-your-hand-off-and-take-the-bracer-off-there-but then we attach the hand back! (Normal speed) And it’s like, not a big deal.”

“Any other /non-terrible/ questions.”

“Point and click, baby. Windows 98.” “That’s a little ~awk-warrrrrd~.”

/End transcript]

All these people on this website are so cool and diverse I love being here but I wish I could meet you all in person

There should be a tumblr convention

What a fun idea! There could even be an indoor playground... Maybe with a ball pit or something.....

Time is a circle we are always doomed to repeat it whether we learn the error of our ways or not

I mean, the world is set on a course to repeat things much worse than dashcon anyway, so we might as well

If dashcon 2024 is the light in the darkness of this harsh world. Then we are surly headed down a grim path

dashcon 2024 is a beacon of hope in our dark, hopeless reality. unfortunately that beacon belongs to an anglerfish

I swear to god if this post breaches containment and inadvertently unleashes the fresh hell that is dashcon 2024 upon us. It will be the end of days

fuck yeah daschon 2024!!!!!!!!!!

Don't call it dashcon 2024, call it dashcon 2015. It's important.

If this post reaches 100,000 notes, OP *has* to organize a Tumblr con! Let's get it up there!

I’m 19 and I do not have the money or time to do such a thing

Yes, that will make it Authentic!