No this not a joke

Her horse is literally a light tank.

midgardian etiquette 101: when going to their homes, hang your coat first or in some cases, your mjolnir.

naw maybe it’s actually asgardian custom to check your weapons at the door

It was medieval custom to check your weapons at the door of the meadhall before greeting the king of the place you were going to. It was courteous and showed respect. You can see it in Beowulf. 

what i don’t understand is how that hook can hold the mjolnir.

the hook is worthy

the hook is worthy

Peter Pan would disagree.

I’ve not read the comics but I always figured Mjolnir wasn’t heavy so much as stubborn, and if it decided it didn’t wanna move it just wouldn’t. It sits on Loki, rather than crushing him in Thor 1, and in Avengers it rests on the floor of the ship, and trying to pick it up Hulk starts breaking the floor with his weight, but Mjolnir doesn’t seem to weight anything at all (If it was as heavy as Hulk implied, it would drag the whole ship to the ground right?). Mjolnir isn’t heavy, cos its not going down, instead it is a fixed point and everything else just moves around it. Hence, the hook doesn’t hold it, it merely remains in place.

so what you’re trying to say is that Mjolnir is like a chicken head

 instead it is a fixed point and everything else just moves around it. 

OK SO WHAT YOU ARE SAYING IS THAT WHEN THIS HAMMER WAS FORGED IN THE HEART OF A STAR IT BECAME A FIXED QUANTUM POINT AND THE UNIVERSE MOVES AROUND IT—AND THOR IS THE ONLY ONE WITH THE PROPER RESONANCE TO INTERACT WITH IT ON A QUANTUM LEVEL AND SO HE IS THE ONLY ONE WITH THE LEVERAGE REQUIRED TO SHIFT THE REST OF THE UNIVERSE AROUND THE FIXED POINT THAT IS MJOLNIR

THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE

DUDE YOU GUYS SCIENCED THORS HAMMER THAT IS AWESOME

i just… can’t have this not on my blog.

CAUSE EVERY TIME WE TOUCH I GET THIS FEELING

EVERY TIME WE KISS I SWEAR I COULD FLY

CAN’T U FEEL MY HEART BEAT FAST, I WANT THIS TO LAST

NEED YOU BY MY SIDE

I’ve decided I will always reblog this.

Abandoned USSR space shuttles in Kazakhstan [1050 x 757]

Wait what they abandoned not only a warehouse for building space shuttles but AN ENTIRE space shuttle itself??

HAVE YOU GUYS LEARN NOTHING FROM HORROR MOVIE !!!!

Long before you were born, your father promised his firstborn to otherworldly beings in exchange for power. In a twist of fate, your mother also promised her firstborn to dark gods.

It was definitely the worst eighteenth birthday ever.

“You sold me to who?!” I shouted at my father, who stared back at me calmly over his morning coffee, as if we were discussing breakfast rather then him making a dark deal with supernatural beings.

“You know I hate repeating myself, Donald. “ He answered irritably, “Before you were born I promised the dark spirits of Opes my firstborn child on their eighteenth birthday. I honestly thought we weren’t planning on having children at that time, in my defense.”

I stared at him open mouthed, even the misty dark creatures hovering over the kitchen chair across from me seemed slightly surprised at his nonchalant tone. “So you guys own me now?” I asked them, my voice squeaking slightly at the last word, a bad habit I’ve had since my adolescence began.

They didn’t have eyes, but were facing my general direction, their voices low and rough, like gravel being poured onto a fresh grave. “Technically, just your soul. You should be fine, really. Plenty of people are soulless.”

“What did you even get for my soul?” I pointed a finger at my father.

He sighed, “There was this really great Porsche I wanted, but couldn’t afford.” Shrugging he added “It seemed like a good deal at the time.”

I couldn’t believe it. “You traded that car when I was five! You traded the car you sold my soul for!”

“Honestly, Donald, stop making such a big deal about this. It’s just your soul.”

I turned to my mother, who was reading the gossip/society section of the paper through this whole conversation. “Don’t you have anything to add?”

“Listen to your father, dear.” Was her helpful addition. She didn’t even glance up from her reading.

Thanks, Mom. I turned to the tall fiery beings silently standing in the corner.

“Are you guys part of the ‘dark spirits Opes’ too?”

The tallest one shook his head, his voice was high pitched liked the scream of an infant.

“No, we are the dark gods of Venustas. We are here to collect your soul as well.”

I threw up my hands “Dad! You sold me to TWO dark beings? Isn’t one enough?”

For the first time my father looked upset. “That wasn’t me! I only sold you once.”

Again my mother chimed in without looking up. “That was me, I’m afraid. Sold off my firstborn many years ago for youth and beauty.” She checked her makeup briefly in a compact and then met everyone’s disbelieving stares. “What? You think looking this good is NATURAL? I wasn’t planning on having children. If I hadn’t forgotten about that deal and Mary Jane down the street hadn’t been flaunting her nursery designs everywhere, I wouldn’t have agreed to have one.”

There was so much wrong with that. I really didn’t know where to start. The two supernatural groups were staring at each other hostilely. I braced myself for the upcoming fight.

That was when the Devil appeared in a burst of flame. He was a bit too big to fit into our kitchen, his horns broke a small crystal in the chandelier above and his two hooves were scratching the hardwood floor. My mom was going to have a field day. Although, she did technically sell my soul away so my sympathy for her was pretty low.

“I am here to claim your soul, mortal!” He cried, holding up his fist in a threatening manner. He then seemed to notice the general chilly atmosphere of the room, as well as the multiple groups of dark beings. “What I’d miss?”

My father sighed. “Wasn’t me.”

My mother shook out her paper, returning to her reading. “Wasn’t me either.”

Everyone stared at eachother in astonishment, and after an awkward amount of silence I slowly raised my hand.

“Actually, that one was me.”

The dark spirits laughed. “YOU sold your soul to the Devil?”

I crossed my arms defensively. “You think getting an all-expense paid scholarship to Harvard is EASY? Besides, it’s not like I KNEW that my parents had already sold my soul twice.”

My father chuckled. “Like father, like son, I guess.”

I glared at him. “Shut up! I’m still mad at you.”

 The Devil, the dark spirits and the fiery gods all faced off in the corner of our kitchen.

“It seems we are at an impasse.” The Devil growled, his spiked tail snapping in irritation.

The fire surrounding the dark gods grew brighter. “So it would seem.” They screeched in reply.

“We submit that we settle this in the Ancient Tradition.” The dark spirits spoke in unison.

The Devil laughed in response. “An old fashioned approach, huh? I like it!”

The tension in the air grew thick as silence settled among the three. I stared worriedly into the group, wondering if I should try to move out of the way of whatever supernatural fight they were starting.

 The three groups of beings crouched in unison on the kitchen floor, facing each other. They each raised a fist.

 “ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, GO!”

Omg

We’re finally in the future where we get to experience weeb ass headlines like this

lady maria

A while back I heard my friend (male) insult another dude by saying, “You look like the kind of guy who wouldn’t go to Wal-Mart to buy his girlfriend a box of tampons” and I still think about that crowning insult sometimes

My dad once called another guy “someone who thinks loading the dishwasher once in a while makes him less of a man”

I like your dad already

one time my dad’s boss was giving him shit for always leaving work early so he could get home and help my mom with me when i was a newborn and his boss said “i’ve never changed a diaper in my life” really proudly and my dad responded “i’d be ashamed to ever admit i was that worthless of a husband”

oh WOW

This is by far my most popular post.

Someone who doesn’t watch baseball please explain this picture

Simple. It’s naptime.

The actual answer is just as funny:

Bees.

i’ve been comprimised 

i laughed for about 349583492547252 years

I’ve waited 2 years for this post to hit my dash again. Totes worth it

This is the anti-Kotomine roll, reblog for good luck!

I don’t know what to do.

then you arent awake

this image is used to activate russian sleeper cells living under fake identities in the united states

OP used batch scripts to embed a .rar folder that contains a list of coordinates in this picture

Alright go sleep you night blogger

I’m sorry but it’s really annoying to see this keep happening on my dash. For those who don’t know,Pixiv is considering shutting down access to western users.

Why?

Because of edits and reposts onto social media sights, such as Tumblr, Facebook, even Twitter. The problem has been here for the past months and I really just get sad seeing everyone reblog edits and reposts of art that’sUNSOURCED.

I’m sorry if I seem bitchy, but this is a critical issue, because not only would this cut off fandom posters, it cuts off any person in the US from accessing Pixiv.

Pixiv artists are already deleting their works and accounts, more and more artists are deleting everything because of this. I have alreadymade a post about this on my main,  and so havetwo ofmy friends. You may say we’re throwing a big deal about this, but the thing is- we’re just trying to make sure that us fans and future fans have the art resources.

Things to know:

Oh, and biggest thing for the Vocaloid fandom mainly, along with other fandoms:

this is a list of pixiv artists who do not want their art reposted or edited at all.

If you ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO REPOST THEIR WORK, ASK THEM FIRST! It won’t hurt you to be polite, and even if they don’t understand english they probably will understand what you’re saying.

I find this very relevant to this blog so I hope you’ll allow me to give another PSA.

(Thank you endless-chocolate for sending me this link)

I see this happen on my dash sometimes and I’m not gonna lie, I did consider unfollowing the people that reblog unsourced fanarts. Especially more so on those so-called one piece confessions/dirty op confessions whatever. It’s getting ridiculous. 

However, it’s my belief that every one of you are wonderful people who respects others, especially those who have worked hard in drawing and writing all the wonderful doujins and fanarts. So I hope I can raise some more awareness to this.

As usual I’m going to illustrate it in an easy way. (read right to left)

Every artist grow by displaying their work and getting critique. But when their work is spread around without any credit to the artist, AND EVEN MAKES THE OWN ARTIST DELETE IT FROM HIS/HER SITE it lost the purpose and meaning.

Here’s a guide on how to use saucenao. If it’s from pixiv, saucenao will most likely find it. If it doesn’t, use google image search.

This has been another PSA from Dark Honey.

cant stress enough about this topic, please source everyone

【 Such a tragedy we have avoided.. 】: Let me just pause ooc for a moment.

I am proud to be raising awareness of this serious issue!

Please spread this around so less and less of a problem will continue!

IMPORTANT!! Please tell your friends about this, ESPECIALLY on facebook and instagram - these tend to be the worst.

Why just western users?

But yeah guys SUPPORT THE ORIGINAL ARTISTS and ALWAYS GIVE CREDIT.

Making a joke you’ve been thinking of all day and expecting everyone to laugh

Realizing that no one found it funny in the slightest…

You’re a powerful dragon that lived next to a small kingdom. For centuries you ignored humanity and lived alone in a cave, and the humans also avoided you. As the kingdom fell to invaders, a dying soldier approaches you with the infant princess, begging you to take care of her.

You’re a powerful dragon that lived next to a small kingdom. For centuries you ignored humanity and lived alone in a cave, and the humans also avoided you. As the kingdom fell to invaders, a dying soldier approaches you with the infant princess, begging you to take care of her.

DONT 👏🏼SAY 👏🏼YOURE 👏🏼A 👏🏼VEGETARIAN 👏🏼UNLESS 👏🏼YOU 👏🏼AINT 👏🏼FUCKIN 👏🏼SCARED 👏🏼OF 👏🏼HIM 👏🏼

Who ?

Euclid and Keter initiation

What initiation ?